


Selfless

by SmokeyDogs_05



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Gaara learns how to feel, Kankuro is protective, Shukaku is a dick, Strangers to Friends, Temari Is A Badass, friends to lovers (eventually), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 72,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23131219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokeyDogs_05/pseuds/SmokeyDogs_05
Summary: She took a kunai for him. "Are you ok?" she asks him as her own blood leaks threw her fingers. Gaara simply stares. A story of a girl with a kind heart and a boy who learns to love. Rated T for Safety.
Relationships: Gaara & Kankurou & Temari, Gaara (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s), Nara Shikamaru/Temari
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. Saint Cecilia

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the time-skip to after the war, I own Akira Sato and some of the plot. I don't own Naruto hence why we are on here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was supposed to be my love letter to all fanfiction writing but whoop I want to write until I die now. Anyway each chapter will be titled of a song I feel like fits it well, and an explanation will be at the end as to why I felt like it fit. I didn't watch much of Shippuden, so a lot of this will be heavily based on my manga knowledge (which rarely featured Gaara) just for the sake of everything staying close to cannon, and for my own sake of wondering which episodes are filler, and which aren't. I hope everyone enjoys this story and any critiques will be welcomed.
> 
> Flame me. Burn me. Build me up and praise me. I don't care, just don't steal my work, please and thank you.
> 
> Enjoy.

"You're going in on the right to flank. Kai will follow in on the left to help hold the ground." The two ninja nod and jump away to secure their positions around the small facility. The goal is to get inside, retrieve a scroll from a bandit and get out. A simple mission. Gaara nods as he gives out the rest of his orders and the remaining member leaves the ground. He knows how they feel about him. It is how the whole village feels about him, although they certainly hide it better than past teammates.

The tremor in their voices, the lowered gazes, and the tremble in their hands- he would have to be blind, and maybe even deaf, to miss it.

The enemies they encounter are easy enough. He had known of at least four bandits and when six came pouring out he quickly crushed two of them. Kai manages two and as his team completes the mission and gets the scroll. Gaara turns slightly away to make sure his last teammate is fine.

He doesn't see it.

She does.

She quickly moves shoving him over as the kunai pierces her shoulder. She grunts as she takes it out and examines it quickly. Gaara blinks at her as his sand slowly comes down from where it stopped her from touching him. Surprise laces through him and he quickly schools his features as she presses a hand against her shoulder.

"Are you ok?" she asks him as her own blood leaks threw her fingers. Gaara's mouth is dry as he tries to swallow. He couldn't help but stare a little bit at the crimson between her fingers. But he is better now, and he wouldn't let a mistake ruin that.

"Fine." The others come quickly to them and it doesn't take much longer to finish their mission.

Had he seen her before this mission? He stares at her as they travel home watching as she smiles and laughs with the other two members. As she patches up her wound and heals the others. She is a medic-nin. He wonders why she hadn't healed herself, and why he had overlooked her file. He remembers scanning it before the mission at Baki's request to learn more about how Kazekage duties were managed. He saw medic-nin on her file, saw her skills as a Chunin, and had dismissed her completely.

"Hey, I have finished healing and examining the rest of the team, want me to check you over?" She asks as Gaara shakes his head. She nods and walks away as the rest of the team watches weary.

And as they travel home making it back in less than a day he can't shake her from his thoughts.

She hadn't been afraid of him.

* * *

The others had been dismissed due to having their injuries healed except for her. Baki had ordered her to the hospital for examination of the wound. She had left it unhealed due to the nature of the weapon. Gaara is surprised to hear there was a gel on it, that she treated the wound with an universal antibiotic but left it unhealed to drain it of bad blood. He is impressed and as she heads to the hospital, he heads the opposite direction.

Gaara doesn't owe her anything. She is interesting yes, but it is better if he doesn't get involved as Shukaku chuckles.

" _ **Bold of you to ignore the bloodlust. To ignore the great**_ -." Gaara imagines a giant wall shutting out the sand demon and forces himself to steady as Shukaku's claws run against it.

He definitely is better leaving that girl alone.

That is until Temari finds him studying scrolls and glares.

"What?" he asks not looking up as Temari turns and walks away. Gaara puts down the scroll as she comes back and throws a bouquet of flowers into his arms. He blinks at her wide eyed and confused as she huffs.

"Your teammate is new to the village. She knows some of the past but not enough obviously since she tried to take a kunai for you. Go visit her in the hospital she deserves that much." She jabs a finger towards him before leaning back as Gaara looks at her still confused.

"Temari I have work to be-." Temari cuts him off as she rubs her temples.

"Fine. You don't have to visit her if you can answer one question." She holds up one finger as she glares at Gaara. "What is her name?" she hisses as he freezes.

He had read her file. Had listened when she introduced herself to him.

He gulps as he looks at his sister whose smile is sinister and points to the door.

"And be sure to thank her for trying to save your life when you ask for her name."

* * *

And that is how Gaara came to wander in a hospital with flowers trying to find the girl that was on his mission. He nods to the nurse who allows him in and he immediately turns around and calls for help when he sees her shaking violently in the bed, eyes rolled back and skin paler than before. They come and would later thank him for seeing her then, allowing them to catch the slow acting venom used on the kunai and administer the antidote.

Gaara nods at the thanks and nervously the nurses leave him awkwardly standing there. Unsure whether to leave or stay with the girl. He realizes then that he's still holding the flowers, he moves to set them on the side table and she moves.

Groaning she turns and blinks her eyes open at Gaara who is frozen. "Hi," she mumbles groggily and confused. The boy by her table looks familiar and it hits her as he blinks at her.

"You're the boy from my mission." Her voice is cracking as she clears it and sits up more in the bed. Gaara moves then choosing to catch her extended hand as she gives him a small closed lipped smile.

"I'm terrible with names so excuse me but what was yours?" she asks and Gaara feels the slight guilt Temari had placed in his chest slide away.

"If you pardon my asking for yours? Gaara." He shakes her hand as she nods.

"Akira. Akira Sato." She sighs when Gaara crocks his head to the side in confusion.

"I understand that it's commonly a boys' name, but my mother didn't want someone to see a female name and assume anything." She explains her mouth quirking up to the side as Gaara nods.

"A good reason but ninja shouldn't be judged based on gender." Akira shrugs in response at his observation.

"Still they are at times, but may I ask about the flowers? I didn't remember your name I don't think I deserve them." She makes a face as Gaara looks at the flowers.

"My sister heard about the attempt you made and decided flowers would show gratitude."

"Ah well you're welcome for trying to save you I suppose since I didn't realize you had it under control." She laughs a bit awkwardly as Gaara nods. "Your sister sounds like someone I've meet, may I ask about her?"

"Her name is Temari." Akira's eyes go wide at the name and she laughs again, surprising Gaara.

"I know Temari she helped my mother and I adjust here, and she's been one of my closest friends since I've moved." She nods to the flowers as she adds, "The flowers make more sense now." Gaara nods to that statement as he realizes his sister has struck again in meddling with his life.

"She has the habit of meddling in my life, though I can't say I don't deserve it." Gaara chooses to leave it there. There was no reason to tell this girl he was just introduced to about how he still wasn't sure he was human. How he is pretty sure he is still a monster. They had just met, and no matter how interesting she was, trust wasn't something so easily earned.

They sit in silence a few moments unsure of what to say to each other when a nurse comes and tells Gaara visiting hours are over.

Gaara gives a small nod to her as he leaves, and she waves goodbye and sends her thanks to Temari with him.

Temari smirks when she sees him enter the house, and keeps smirking at his glare that has stopped being menacing to her a few months ago.

"Her name is Akira Sato." He states and Temari leans away from the door-frame and gestures to the kitchen.

"And as a reward dinner is done." She says sarcastically and moves to get Kankuro.

They've been eating together again, awkwardly at first, but the effort mattered.

Gaara wouldn't be scary anymore.

Temari would be cocky and proud around the house again.

Kankuro wouldn't try and find excuses to get out of dinner.

Progress.

* * *

He never expects to see her again. Much less at the dead of night as he wanders the village aimlessly patrolling it. He is used to being able to go around in the dead of night. It is usually quiet and Shukaku would claw less at his mind when they moved around. He catches her walking around town at night when every sane person should be resting. He follows for a bit and realizes she's either aimlessly walking or lost as she passes the same street corner twice.

He spies her confused face and sighs.

Temari won't be able to twist his newfound feelings if he helps her.

He lands softly behind her and she spins around surprised. She nods in greeting and he nods back.

"Where do you live?"

* * *

"What's a food you prefer?" she asks softly as he leads her back to her home. They walked together but the conversation was extremely one-sided. She had started by asking questions of Suna's history, foods more common around the area, and he had answered with silence. She hadn't lapsed long though before trying questions that had simple answers.

She hadn't gotten much from him that lead her to figure out his character, but he found much about her from her ramblings. She knew little even after almost a year of being here since she went on missions often and trained in her free time. Points of exploring the town were far and in between and when she had to go out it was a straight forward trip. No wonder Temari liked her. She didn't want to window shop and was usually more nonsensical from what he gathered.

"Gizzard." He answers after a moment as they round a corner and find her home.

"Th-"

"What are you doing out here so late?" he asks, his confusion getting the better of him as she blinks.

"I have insomnia. I wandered out tonight just to stretch my legs, I don't usually do it." She says a matter-of-factly as she heads to her house.

"Thank you though and one last question," she stands in her doorway already half inside as Gaara turns around. "Savory or sweet?" she asks as he looks at her.

"Savory." he answers. He did not expect the slow smile and a glint in her eyes as she softly says. "Same, looks like we have more in common then, goodnight Gaara." she turns then and disappears into the house. Gaara pauses for a moment as his interest spikes for a moment before turning away. These feelings were still new to him, some bonds were still mending. So Gaara examines his emotions and feelings once more on his long slow walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: I feel like the lyrics to Saint Cecilia by Foo Fighters sets the tone for the story since Akira's house plays a bigger part later in the series. Gaara also slowly gets healing from Akira and her family as well as his own.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoy it. Until next time!


	2. Blame It on Bad Luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Note: To answer a review asking their ages, Gaara is 14 when he and Akira first meet, but is close to turning 15. Temari and Kankuro are 15/16 respectively. And as far as Akira is aware she is 14 like Gaara.
> 
> But thank you all for the reviews, enjoy!

Temari sighs as she presses a hand against the hard-oak front door. She could feel the grain of the wood under her fingers as she stares at the letters she received. Her heart flutters with the news of peace talks with Konoha and she knows having allies would be good for the village. And having that little orange brat around would help her own redhead brat. The crisp white paper under her fingers folds easily as she tucks it away for Baki to see later.

She almost manages to tread her way back to the living room before a knock sounds at her door. She opens it to a smaller ninja and immediately recognizes them and she sighs heavily.

Her eye twitches as she closes them and gives an exasperated smile. "Don't tell me."

* * *

The flowers she bought has cost a pretty penny considering they were in the middle of the desert, but she isn't entirely sure what else to send. She and Akira trained together, had gotten lunches a few times, and had exchanged books and scrolls but that is the extent of it. Temari is blunt in everything she does but Akira is only blunt in her answers and often thought of others ahead of herself. Temari couldn't say she thought of everyone but she does think of her brothers. And now Akira.

She shifts the flowers in her arms and frowns as soft petals fell against the floor. She pauses a second at the crimson petal against the floor and wonders briefly if having a few red flowers in her arrangement had been a bad idea. Gaara has started wearing red to symbolize that the color no longer has a control over him but the petal on the floor now looks too much like a drop of blood for her liking.

Spreading her fingers wide, she channels chakra into her hand and focuses on shaping it into a gust of wind. Slowly and with more effort than she wants the petal rises and lands gently in her hand. She studies the deep red of the petal against the alabaster of her hand and sighs. Better to be safe than sorry she figures as she closes her hand around the petal and turns back down the hall until Gaara bumps into her.

She almost swears as they collide, and the usual rough wall of sand isn't there to stop her. He has gotten better at allowing his siblings in, but it was times like this that made her wish he had the foresight to keep it up occasionally. She glares at Gaara who looks back confused as her glare melts away to a smile.

"Here." Her tone is sweet as she shoves the flowers into Gaara's arms who frowns.

"Wha-?"

"Akira is injured again; different mission and I would like you to know my friends. Maybe they can be yours too. I'm not doing this out of pity," she adds seeing his eyes narrow. She looks her brother in the eyes as she takes a breath. "You're not a monster in human skin. You're my brother and I want others to see you as I do."

Mint eyes stare into her teal ones. Mother is there in the corners of his eyes, and the slimness of his fingers from what Temari has started to see. He wasn't entirely Father and he would be more than he was. Father had been the monster. She would help him see that. And when did he get so tall? He is coming up to her own height now chasing Kankuro who already sprouted to be a few inches taller than her.

Gaara studies his sister for a moment and nods. He could visit this strange girl again even as Shukaku growls at the thought. Shukaku personally didn't like the girl but Gaara ignores him, he didn't like anyone.

* * *

Gaara eventually finds her and the nurses are more skeptical than last time. The demon boy with crimson hair and gorgeous cold sea form eyes, carrying a beautiful assortment of flowers to a girl in the hospital. The staff is hesitant to hand her over this time around, but they ultimately do, better her than them. She isn't even a fully registered citizen of Suna yet.

Akira doesn't light up when she sees him, she's engulfed in a book Temari had dropped off earlier. She glances at Gaara and gives him something akin to a small smile and nods. He nods back as he sets the flowers down and Akira finishes her page before looking at him.

"You know you could just bring me a cactus, I'm sure they're cheaper than flowers." He pauses at that, plants had been interesting him recently. The life they had and represented, how they didn't judge and fear but relied on him nonetheless. He decides she meant it offhandedly and shakes his head.

"My sister insists on flowers." ' _And she insists that I come with them.'_ He thinks but doesn't add, he's not bitter he finds. Just interested and confused by this girl who tilts her head curiously at him.

"Then tell her my favorite flower comes from a cactus. I mean I don't have a favorite, but I'd rather have something harder to kill. Flowers don't keep well in the desert." She gives him a small giggle at the simple logic and he keeps a blank face as she chuckles again. He used to find laughter grating, loud, obnoxious and yet….

" _ **It's still obnoxious**_." Shukaku hisses as he shifts in the cage Gaara built him. But Gaara disagrees, maybe it's because it isn't a full laugh. Maybe it's because what she said doesn't have much humor or anything other than logic to it, but overall, he doesn't hate it.

"So, is Temari actually busy or did she just guilt trip you again?" she asks curious and Gaara raises a shoulder. He's gotten better at moving like a human; now if feeling like one wasn't so terribly confusing.

"She isn't busy, and she wanted me to come, she wants us to be friends." Akira blinks surprised and shrugs.

"Well if you want to try and be friends, would you like to come over for a cup of tea?" She offers and wonders for a moment if her mother would kill her for this later. If she doesn't die tonight first.

She heard the stories of the demon boy who hailed from Suna and helped destroyed Konoha. Had been warned by Temari of her youngest brother when she came but was also told how he was changing. She does care on some instinctual level, and knows to be cautious, but even now she isn't afraid as Gaara tilts his head forward and accepts the invitation.

She isn't afraid because even if Gaara is an actual demon, she has seen worse.

Much worse.

* * *

Gaara waits until she's released from the hospital that night. She had barely succeeded in her mission, having it be a two-man team, she sent ahead her teammate and had taken on a group of three. She had succeeded in defeating two of them but the third caught her in a genjutsu and sliced her calf trying to prevent her from running. He hadn't known it would break her out of the jutsu and allow her time to heal herself while she acted as if she was still caught. He didn't stand a chance from what she told him in the hospital, yet the council still was unimpressed with the events since she had managed to get injured on yet another mission.

That was almost an hour ago, however, and when she finally leaves she looks to the top of the building and starts to wave. Sand moves beneath her feet and she tenses, crouching a bit as she's pulled up in the air. Gaara understands, everyone is shaken their first time around as he lets her land next to him. Sand whirls around the two of them and she barely has a second to take a breath or get a mouth full of sand before they're outside her house again.

She smiles fully at him when she realizes where they are, and he takes a second to take it in. She still isn't scared of him as she leads him into her house.

The house is smaller than the others but given it's just her mother and Akira here, he isn't surprised. They made it homey in its own right with chocolate brown furniture against the sandy colored walls, a small coffee table with a book shelf is pressed against the far wall between a door and a staircase. The dining table is a small square table of worn mahogany with scratches and initials carved into it. The kitchen has the basic appliances, but the thing Gaara notices most of all are the plants. Large pots housing taller cacti and smaller pots that hang from the ceiling in various corners hold more fragile plants of the desert. The number of small knickknacks laying around and scrolls, books, pictures. He pauses as he looks at the chaos. The clutter. The life.

It distracts him from Shukaku grumbling in his head at this exchange.

Akira points to the scratched table as Gaara removes his gourd and smoothly settles it against a vacant chair with a small thud. She gives him another small smile before moving to the kitchen. He sits as she prepares the tea and he traces some of the scratches on the table as he answers some of her questions regarding things his sister may like, and what else in Suna he prefers. He also listens on how adjusting has been for her though she hasn't made it entirely clear where she's from yet. He listens and answers and waits and observes.

Akira isn't bothered by his mint eyes staring at her as she moves comfortably around her kitchen and prepares the tea. She assumes he must have his own questions and is simply waiting for her to be done. Still though, she can't help some nerves in her, the animal instinct telling her this is wrong, but she takes a breath as she sits down across from him and he thanks her for the tea. He watches as she takes a sip before taking his own. He doesn't think she would try to kill him, but there was always the chance.

"Why aren't you scared?" he starts before she can get a word in. Hell, he's almost sure the savory bitter tea is still in her throat when he asks as she swallows and looks at him.

"Do you know why we moved? Do you know where we moved from?" she asks tilting her head she stirs her cup on the table. The noise of the cup sliding over the table loud in his silence.

"No."

"We moved from Konoha directly after the Suna invasion. My mother saw you and decided that if the village had a demon, why not join the winning team. She was raised by mercenaries originally before they settled. She believes in loyalty only to her family and she raised my brother and I better." She slides her hand over to a pair of initials on the table and smiles gently. "We have different fathers, mine and his are dead, and he's five years older than me but we've always been thick as thieves. He stayed in Konoha since he's old enough. I didn't want mom to be alone." She slides her hand back and takes a breath.

"Anyway, I have heard the stories, the rumors of the demon boy in the sand village. I'm not stupid, I put two-and-two together thanks to Temari. Frankly," she pauses and tilts her head at him. "I've seen worse."

"What do you mean worse?" he asks as Shukaku snorts in his head.

" _ **Who the hell is this gir**_ -."

"I was kidnapped from Konoha at the age of six and held captive for six months. My mother managed to find me and get me out. I have scars, but I have no memory of this. The Third Hokage decided that due to my age and the trauma it would be best if they were sealed away." She taps a finger against her temple before she looks at her cup and sighs as she drains the rest of it. Leaning forward in her chair, her arms against the table, she looks into Gaara's eyes unafraid as she finishes.

"I don't want to pretend to know your history. And I don't care about it because you're changing. You're putting it behind you, learning from it, not letting it define you, and the day you tell me your history, I will spill the rest of mine. But you don't scare me. You have a demon sealed in you. Those men. The horrors they committed, not only to me, but to other children." She shakes her head leaning back and frowns as she closes her eyes. "I guess what I'm trying to say is you had evil sealed in you, those men were simply born with it. That's why you don't scare me. Because if you were truly terrible you wouldn't be trying to change."

Silence meets her and a part of her is worried she has overstepped as she opens her eyes and sees Gaara looking down at the table. Shukaku's laughter is loud in his ears and for some reason that's not the only reason he's trembling.

Temari has seen it, he's sure of that, that's why she wanted them to meet, to become friends. Akira is blunt, polite, friendly, and reminds him of Naruto with how she addressed his past so effortlessly. With knowing some pain of loneliness despite a family and acknowledging she also doesn't want to try and pretend they have the same level of trauma.

" _ **I like this girl, she thinks she's seen worse then me**_?!" Shukaku cackles once again before settling though Gaara can tell he's excited as he takes a breath and meets her gaze.

Concern is written all over her face. "Do you want some more tea? I'm sorry if I overstepped." She says as she raises and pours him some more tea. He hadn't realize he has drained his original cup and savors the warm liquid as it steadies him.

"I did a lot of things monsters would do. And I understand why Temari wanted us to meet."

"I'm not absolving you, but you do have a literal monster inside you. And yeah Temari was taken aback at my lack of uncaring. No one should let their past define them though. It's in the past for a reason." She mutters as she sips her tea and Gaara pauses looking at her.

"You can't-."

"I said my memories were sealed away. I didn't say they stayed that way. I am slowly remembering, and I take it one day at a time. But until we are more fully comfortable with each other let's leave it at that." She doesn't smile when she offers a hand as Gaara nods and shakes it.

"Now I do have some things I would like to talk about." Gaara raises a brow.

"Such as?"

"Temari put it as having triggers. I don't need to know what they are, if you're uncomfortable. Just how to help and I want you to know my help is available any time. I usually don't sleep at night so if you need a quiet place with warm tea, my door is open. I prefer if you're honest with me. Logically speaking being honest helps relationships and maybe you don't need to tell me if I look fat or not or if I'm weak but tell me if I've done something to piss you off, and if there's something I can do to help." She says all of this with a shrug and sips her tea as Gaara stares, eyes narrowed trying to read her.

"Where do your loyalties lie?" he asks as Akira tilts her head toward him.

"First of all, to the village. I would give my life as a Suna shinobi, and if you're talking about between you and your sister. I told her these same things, only not the trigger part, but she is welcomed over as well as you."

This is a lot for Gaara, the house, the tea, Shukaku deciding he _liked_ this girl. And now she is asking for him to trust her. Is it really this hard-?

"Hey, you don't have to accept this now. You don't have to accept it tomorrow either. I want to trust you and in return I hope you decide to trust me. But let's just start with this. One day at a time." She reaches forward across the table again only stopping barely a touch away from his hand. He hadn't realized he has pressed his palm flat against the table, and that he is clutching his head with his other hand as though it is in pain. He meets her eyes then and nods. Akira smiles at him softly before she turns and pulls out a scroll.

"I thought maybe you would like this? It has some mythology in it regarding Suna. Stories not commonly told anymore from my gathering, but I've only lived here a year." She presses the scroll into Gaara's hand. A peace offering. A start. He nods and thanks her gruffly as he sips his tea.

This would take some getting used to. This trust he is going to have to place in her, this tentative bond that is forming. They weren't blood related, not like him and his siblings. And she would never fully understand the hatred at oneself, at society, not like how Naruto understood him. But this is a change.

And Kami knows he needs a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -End- Song Choice: Blame It on Bad Luck by Bayside is basically Akira's mentally to a lot of things. Like shit happens and you deal with it. I also like to think the song is a good choice for Gaara as he's trying to turn his life around. As he is clawing his way back up and out of this grave he was in. Interestingly enough, this story is going a bit darker than I had originally planned. But given Shukaku is here, I am not entirely surprised.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	3. I Don't Care

"You may end up regretting this." Gaara tilts his head toward her as Akira gives him a side glance.

"Everyone here is already against me, may as well make it worse." Her tone is dry and the corner of her lips is tugging up as Gaara purses his. She barely got him to agree to this last night, going on errands around the village with her. Temari usually went with her but she said she was busy today and although last night had went well Gaara is still nervous. Even now he is more than ready to back out if it meant helping her social standing.

Gaara had stayed later than he wanted, enjoying the tea and scanning over the scroll while Akira simply leaned back and sipped her own. He had asked a few questions last night about the scroll, about what she herself liked to read (which had surprised her, and him), before he finally left. He doesn't care for the girl personally, considering he just met her. But Temari cares about her, and he is trying to care about Temari, thus by that logic, he really shouldn't be seen with Akira. Yet he's here, trying to help her in place of his sister, due to his want for change. He gives her a look as they walk slightly exasperated.

"If the village is against you, you should be trying to fix that." She tilts her head to look at him as they walk and makes a face.

"I was being sarcastic Gaara. The village isn't against me, but they don't trust me since I'm still relatively new here. And if going on missions and being a good ninja for almost a year hasn't help then," she shrugs as they veer toward a shop. "That's their problem."

Gaara pauses at the entrance and moves to the displays outside pretending to be interested as she goes in. He has been here before with Kankuro getting supplies for his puppets, and he is far from welcomed by the owner. Akira glances at him once before going in without him. She is happy he has accompanied her; she doesn't need him in all the stores she plans on going to.

Akira smiles at the shop keeper as he nods to her. The people here she has noticed are intelligent, strong, and gruff. They don't welcome her with open arms, but she does not blame them all things considering. Instead she gives to the village and tries her hardest to train and protect her home. Though they met her with apparent indifference, the shop keeper's eyes light up when they see her, and his face softens. She couldn't tell at first when he started showing such softness but now that she's started to notice, she has also realized it is how people here show happiness.

"Your order here is ready."

"Thank you," she says taking the wooden box she had left her kunai in. She has stopped checking the work months ago. It is one of the many reasons he softened toward her.

"You may want to wait to go outside." Akira looks at him and follows his gaze through the windows at Gaara who is still outside poking around the displays. Akira watches Gaara through the windows with the man, and only sees an awkward boy trying desperately not to be awkward.

She doesn't see a killer.

But images are deceiving since she herself is only five feet and one inch tall, and she doesn't look much like a killer either.

"If you mean my friend it's fine." Her voice is soft even though she is trying and failing to find understanding in his bewildered eyes. "I know the rumors and I didn't make this decision lightly. But I am friends with Lady Temari, and I trust her when she says he's changed and better."

"You didn't know him before." The shop keep warns her one final time.

"But I know him now, and that's what matters. We all have pasts. We're shinobi," she ends it with a wry smile and a shrug. "I do hope I can keep being a regular, your work is fantastic."

The shop keeps eyes drift back to Gaara as he considers her words.

"Just keep your friend outside and I'll keep doing the work."

"Fair enough, you shouldn't be troubled when I'm the one who made the choice." The shop keep snorts at that but continues to watch her leave with kind soft eyes. She reminds him of his own daughter, and he can't help but give her some leeway.

Even if a part of him wants to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her as she walks away with the sand demon.

* * *

They stop at a few more shops and Gaara realizes that the trip has circled them back to Akira's house. He's carrying an extra bag and he hasn't stopped glancing at the box taking up most of the room in Akira's arms. He hasn't asked yet but then again, he isn't still sure about this. He has not minded spending time with her on the errands though he is skeptical.

He understands she doesn't care. Understands she is just looking for a friend, but….

He recalls a few shops had gone almost deathly quiet when he entered. Shop-keeps had eyed them as they wandered through collecting various things off Akira's list. Akira had nodded and smiled and acted like nothing changed. She even asked Gaara a few things on his opinion regarding a new sharpening tool (he recommended the kind Kankuro bought), but other than that he was silent. It still made people uncomfortable, but he has realized at some point he hadn't been for once in a long time.

They get back to her house and he helps put away groceries once she places the box on the table. He catalogs the information of where things go, and he follows her up the stairs when she gathers the box in her arms once more.

He pauses at the entrance to her room and sees bookshelves lining one wall from ceiling to floor crammed with books and scrolls. The far wall has a window and curtains that are pulled back brightening the room. The other side has a small desk pressed against the wall and a recliner turned toward the window. In the middle a wide bed spans littered with a few open scrolls, a bloodied shirt, and now the wooden box.

"Well this is my room, it's a little bit of a mess but you're more than welcome to come here if you want." She says as she opens the box and pulls out the contents.

Gaara tilts his head and examines the black kunai inside. There's a slightly blue sheen to them when the light hit them, and they've been sharpened and tuned to perfection. The handles are wrapped in a thick black leather that's now worn from use. They're beautiful and deadly instruments and he side glances at Akira who shrugs.

"When I passed my Chunin exam my brother gave me these as a present. They were originally my father's and he's kept them safe and taken care of for me. Supposedly the metal is from space, but I have no idea. I highly doubt it personally. But they do have a small seal on the pommel." She hands one of the kunai to Gaara and picks up another pointing to the small characters carved on the curve. "The seal connects to the user's charka so if they ever get thrown at me they veer away. I can also call them back with the use of charka strings." He carefully places the kunai in her open hand as she packs them away.

"I only use them on either one-man or two-man missions. I like to think they help keep me safe." She stands with her box and smiles at Gaara who shuffles awkwardly out of her way and sighs.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asks hesitantly as she looks at him and shifts the box in her arm as she sighs.

"Here." She gestures him around the bed and over to the chair as she finally puts the box away. He sinks in a little too much for his liking and he remembers then that his gourd of sand is by the table downstairs. He hadn't realized he has slid it off until now as he sits, and Akira sits on the bed and takes a breath.

"I don't know anyone here besides you and Temari. And frankly I want us to be friends not because your sister wants us to be but because I feel like we can actually help each other." She shifts and sits cross-legged on the bed as she looks at him earnestly. "I won't pretend to fix you or know how to deal with you sometimes. I may get angry and hurt but I made my choice to stay and try. If this doesn't work out then oh well we tried to do something different and frankly," she pauses as she looks at Gaara and smiles.

"I would like a friend I didn't make through some village program."

Gaara blinks at that, at her sincerity and bluntness. "I-I won't- don't-."

"I'm not asking you to know what to do in this friendship. I have no idea what I'm doing half the time." She says gently as he looks at her.

"I may hurt you. I won't try but I-I want a friend." He swallows more nervous than he would care to admit and she gives him a half smile.

"All I ask is that you respect me. If you can do that then we're friends. Would you like to stay for dinner? I have plenty to read." She gives a half laugh as she gestures to her towing display of books as Gaara takes a breath.

"I have to see Temari and Baki first. I have some work to do." He says, and he likes that she doesn't frown but nods in understanding.

"Well dinner is in 2 hours, my mother would like to meet you, and if you want you can bring your work over." She nods to the desk and Gaara once more raises a shoulder.

She manages to get a few more responses out of him. Things he liked to read, who Baki is, before she escorts him downstairs and to the door.

"Oh, before you go, remember how I said my home is open anytime?" she asks almost shyly as he nods.

"Well during the day my door is always open but if you need me at night I recommend knocking on my window. My mother sleeps on this floor and she needs her rest since she isn't up all night like me." Gaara considers the information a moment and nods.

"Ok and," he pauses tries hard to show his sincerity as he looks at her. "Thank you. For taking a chance."

This time she blinks surprised before giving him a slow grin, teeth and all. "Thank you too, for letting me."

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me-." Her mother hisses as Akira interrupts. They've been arguing for a short while now cutting over each other, but it's all light-hearted. Akira giggles at the hiss before trying and failing to speak.

"If he comes-."

"You better hope he doesn-."

"Mama!"

"Aki-!"

"I thought you would be glad I made a friend?"

"I-." Akira grins at the knock on the door and all but bounces over to it. Her mother is exasperated, dinner is done, and she bubbly to show her new friend. She calms herself as she opens the door as Gaara nods in greeting.

"Gaara-." Akira starts as her mother moves around her daughter and looks down her nose at Gaara.

"My name is Kana. I am Akira's mother, and I have a few rules to go over with you." She says looking unflinchingly as Gaara takes off his gourd and nods respectfully.

"First, no one is harmed in my house. Second, don't talk shit about my food, and third, we pull our weight around here. I made dinner, Akira washes, and you can help make tea." She winks at the end as Akira rolls her eyes.

"She's joking-."

"I can make tea." Gaara nods as Kana looks at her daughter and raises a shoulder.

"I like him already." She laughs and Akira grins and Gaara eats a warm meal with a small but happy family.

Shukaku listens and watches and examines Kana. He feels unnerved by the older woman who looks so much like her daughter, but he keeps it to himself.

The last thing he needs is Gaara learning how to tamper with seals from this woman.

* * *

Gaara is sitting in the recliner reading a scroll as he scribbles notes down on a separate paper. The desk has been taken over by his notes and a cup of tea that belongs to him. Akira is sprawled on the bed, the book from the hospital lying next to her, and its sequel in her hands. It's dark already outside as Kana went to bed hours ago and Gaara decides to leave once he's finished.

Dinner had been interesting with short questions and answers about how their days have gone, missions, and new shops. Gaara is used to quiet dinners but isn't used to being looked at expectedly for how his day has gone. He isn't used to the teasing from mother to daughter or the dry comments from daughter to mother. He told them of the errands he ran with Akira, of Temari's surprise at the invitation to dinner, and how Baki stared as Gaara gather his work and left. By the time he was done, he had felt like he had overshared, and his throat was dry from speaking.

Akira lets him overtake her desk and move her chair around as need be. She barely uses the study area, though she does like having it there for her to put her tea on. Silence befalls them but Gaara can hear her steady breathing and the turn of pages. He isn't sure why he feels relaxed here and as he finished his last note he pauses and looks down at the desk.

This change has been bigger than he thought it would be.

But that doesn't make it a bad thing he decides.

"Akira?" he calls not turning around as he hears her shift on the bed.

"Hmm?" she hums as Gaara tilts his head back and looks at her over his shoulder.

"Could this…" he pauses unsure for a moment before gulping. "Could this happen more regularly?" he asks.

"Yes, come over whenever you're free. Dinner is at the same time regardless of whose home, but I do have a mission coming up in a few days. You're more than welcomed to the desk though." She gives him a grin and Gaara smiles back.

"Ok."

It would take some work getting used to Akira and her mother. It would be sometime before he feels truly comfortable being here, but as he glances at her again laying on her bed, hair spread out in a halo with a book raised over her head, he realizes that this would be worth it.

He would make it worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy is personally one of my favorite songs. I wanted to use this as the title since Akira doesn't care if the village approves. That and it was stuck in my head writing this chapter. I suppose you can try and say Gaara and Akira are finding happiness even with their misery on their sleeves as well.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	4. Demons

Temari smiles as she stabs into her salad and Akira watches making a face at her glee of violence. It is moments like this that enforces the fact that Temari and Gaara are truly related, as she cuts into a piece of meat for her own meal. Temari glances up at her with steely teal eyes and prods at a tomato before smirking a bit as Akira sips her water.

"So how has it been getting my little brother every night?" She asks as Akira swallows hard and coughs hard as well.

"Well I'm glad it's not a secret, but-" She starts and Temari laughs a bit before waving her hand.

"Oh, I'm joking, I'm so glad you two are friends honestly, I just wanted to ask how that's going." She smiles as Akira grins back and shrugs.

"It's been a while since he's started coming over and he usually just sits at my desk doing work." Akira shrugs the single shoulder as Temari raises a brow.

"Usually?" She asks as Akira isn't surprised Temari picked up on her word choice as she moves some food around on her plate.

"Well it was earlier in the week…" She starts as she remembers.

* * *

_Gaara had come over again and was hunched over the desk muttering darkly to himself. Akira had glanced at him a few times concerned but ultimately decided not to bother the boy. If he wanted to speak he would, and she would not be the one to piss him off. That ultimately failed however as Shukaku finally pushed Gaara a bit over the edge._

_"Why am I here?" Gaara asked slamming his pen down on the table, shaking it violently as his cup of tea shuddered from where it was perched. Akira glanced up confused and concerned as he dug his fingertips against the wood. He fought the urge to let the sand whip out of his gourd, fought against this sudden rage and blood-lust that hit him so hard._

_"Are you talking to me or yourself?" She asked and raised a brow as Gaara turned to look at her as though she had been the one to royally piss him off. Her jaw twitched as she clenched it and told herself to calm down; she hadn't done anything wrong however and detested that look on his face._

_"I was given the impression that you were here to relax, get some work done, and hang out with a friend." She answered as calmly as she could but Gaara snorted and once more she found anger in her gut._

_"And you're my friend?" He had almost sneered, just another twitch of his lips and she might have to just sock him._

_"I thought so." She was getting very irritated and this time Gaara saw the twitch in the corner of her jaw as she tried to reign in her anger._

_"I wonder what I did to give you that mista-"_

_"Get the hell out of my room!" She hissed shoving the window open and pointed out. Gaara paled and gaped at her as Shukaku cackled in the recesses of his mind. The bloodlust and utter rage subsiding as she waved her arm._

_"I don't care if it was Shukaku or you. I don't deserve to be treated like shit in my own house. I know what I signed up for. I signed up for dealing with your demon, I signed up for maybe getting harmed when you lost it, but I will not tolerate getting treated with disrespect." She stomped up to Gaara when he stood to meet her. She glared at him and he looked at her with wide eyes as he realized his mistake. Her eyes softened a touch at his expression and she sighed irritated and surprised the hell out of both Shukaku and Gaara when she pulled him close for a hug._

_"You're still my friend. I want us to stay friends and I'm not leaving your side. Just don't sprout bullshit at me. Don't yell at me when I do nothing wrong. And I'm hugging you to reassure you that we will be fine. I just need to calm down, and for you to leave so I can calm down." She muttered into his chest before releasing him. Gaara placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed once as he nodded. He quickly left as Akira flopped on her bed and groaned into a pillow. She took her time getting dressed in her usual night attire, in washing her face and making another batch of tea before looking for Gaara. She found him on the roof of her home as she raised a brow and he shuffled nervously from where he sat._

_"I did leave the room I just- I didnt-"_

_"I'm sorry for letting my emotions get out of hand. I didn't need to yell." She said sitting next to him as he looked at her wide eyed as she tilted her head and gave him a small smile._

_"It's fine you stayed. I was going to look for you anyway. But it's your turn now." She leaned over nudging his shoulder with her own._

_"Shukaku is restless on a full moon, and when I'm about to go on mission. It reminds him of when he had more control and he fights harder now. It's not an excuse I shouldn't have said what I did. Just I wanted you to know." He dropped his head and took a breath before turning toward her._ _"I am sorry for treating you terribly." He muttered, and Akira lightly grabbed his hand and squeezed once to get him to look at her._

_"You're forgiven." He looked surprised a moment before nodding once at her._

_"...I forgive you too." He muttered softly, hesitantly, as she smiled at him before leading him back into her home._

_He sat at the desk a moment before moving to sit on the bed. Work had strained him enough tonight and with Shukaku being up to his antics again he decided a change of pace might help better. He sat cross-legged on the bed nervous and unsure as she raised a brow._

_"Did you run out of work?" She asked and was surprised when he shook his head._

_"I had enough of it. But any books you recommend?" He asked a tad hesitantly and was happy he did when she beamed at him and gestured to the towering shelves with a grin._

_"Depends on what you like."_

* * *

Akira shrugs as she finishes her story as Temari blinks once and smiles at her.

"Well someone has a death wish." She jokes as Akira laughs and rolls her eyes.

"Oh please. I'm just glad to be helping I just don't want to be treated like garbage." She pops more food into her mouth as Temari nods and sighs.

"Honestly you have changed him, ever since he's had dinner with you and Kana he's asked me and Kankuro about how our days went."

"Really?" Akira is skeptical and has a hand raised to her mouth covering it as she continues to chew as Temari smiles a bit.

"Yeah and even Kankuro wants to meet you now." Temari gives a cheesy grin as Akira frowns and pulls out her wallet as the two pay for their meals.

"Anyway, I'm really glad everything is going fine with the two of you. Let me know if I can help." Temari smiles at Akira and she simply grins back as the two exit the small restaurant.

"You can help by taking my sorry ass training. I have a mission tomorrow that I would like to prepare for."

"Well let's get to work then." Temari says a smirk on her lips as they walk towards the Suna training grounds.

It's on the tip of Akira's tongue, the conversation that had passed between Gaara and her after the fight. One that had let her feel heavier with guilt than what she had felt before. But as Temari grins and thanks her once again for being Gaara's friend. As the two begin to train Akira makes a decision about that conversation last night….

* * *

" _How do you know if your human?" Gaara asked quietly almost timidly to Akira as she paused in her book and turned toward him confusion on her features.  
_

" _Well it depends on what you mean by that." Her voice was soft as Gaara stopped his own reading and glanced at her._

" _When a child is born they are fifty percent the mother, and fifty percent the father. Therefore, I am both my mother and father. But most children aren't sealed with a demon inside. Shukaku was there before I was even really born. So if that is the case, isn't it easy to assume that Shukaku is a part of me like how Mother and Father are." He explained plainly and glanced over at Akira._

_His heart nearly dropped at the tears coming out of her eyes._

" _I-I'm sorry I just. I'm t-tired and emotional." She wiped at her face with her sleeves and tried to give a convincing smile but failed as the corners of her mouth refused to turn upward._ _"Oh no d-don't console me we're talking about you." She waved away Gaara's nervous and awkward attempt to try again dry her cheeks with his shirtsleeves._

" _Just give me a minute." Her voice cracked and she took a breath as she wrapped herself in a blanket so Gaara could only see her eyes as she shrugged._

" _I don't want to discourage you with making an unhappy face, so this is how we're doing it." Gaara simply raised a brow at the absurd gesture as Akira cleared her throat._

" _Ok so Shukaku was placed in you, before you really knew who you are. But no one at the time they are born understands who they are or even what anything is. As you got older Shukaku became a separate part just like how some things you get from your parents become separate in a way. But these elements do not make you who you are, you can change them." Akira frowned as Gaara shook his head._

" _But how do I know I am not a monster like Shukaku?"_

_Akira was quiet a moment before raising a hand up. "Hold your hand against mine."_

_Gaara pressed his fingers against hers and the corners of her eyes crinkled like she was smiling. His larger hand overshadowed her smaller one, and his fingers were longer than hers. He was sure he could press his first knuckles over the tips of hers, but her own fingers were chubbier than his. He studied the way palms, digits, knuckles were the same but different a moment before looking at Akira again._

" _I know you are human because humans crave physical affection, they crave companionship, and they crave acceptance. These are all things that you have tried to achieve your entire life. Not only that but," She paused a moment as she interlaced their fingers together. "You and I bleed the same I'm sure. Shukaku may not even bleed and I know his hands don't look like ours. We look the same. We feel the same things. And if men can become monsters that means they can change. Sometimes monsters aren't capable of that. So Gaara, if you want to change truly does that mean to accept that you are also truly human?" Gaara blinked confused as she dropped the blanket and smiled._

" _I think you're scared of saying your human because if you do, then you're not what anyone expected. And if you're not that, what are you?" She asked as Gaara frowned._

" _What would I be then if you know?" He asked it gently as Akira took a breath._

" _You would be a better man than them for starters. The rest is up to you to decide."_

_Gaara jerked back shocked as she looked at him and he for a moment stopped thinking and really looked at Akira. A slight girl with dark hair that was cut short by her ears and dark eyes that turned to melted honey in the light. Pink lips and a face that he never really took note of before now. Her nose wasn't petite like the rest of her, her eyes were round, and he supposed she could pass as a boy if she tried hard enough, but there was a feminine curve to her jaw and cheekbones. He watched as those pink lips pulled back in a tight smile that didn't entirely reach her eyes as she sighed._

" _I am so sorry for yelling again I didn't know you were…. I'm sorry." She whispered and shifted on the bed as she put her arms out straight in front of her._

_Then she slowly approached not wanting to scare him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close. He doesn't move still reeling from what she said, from the changes of the night, but she is warm and soft against him. The embrace isn't bad._

_Her embrace isn't bad._

" _You're my friend Gaara, and I think your more human than you know." Akira pulled back and patted his cheek softly as Gaara leaned into her palm. He liked the physical touches, like what she was saying, and understood it. A part of him was still unsure (maybe it would always be unsure) but it didn't matter now. They are friends._

_And for a moment that's all Gaara really wanted._

" _I have a few books on human condition and scrolls on anatomy if you want more proof?" She asked after a moment and laughed when Gaara eagerly nodded his head. "And Gaara?" She said softly as he looked at her from the bookshelf._

" _If Shukaku ever does…, if anything happens, I'll help you come back, you know that right?" Her voice is soft again and Gaara looked at her honey colored concerned eyes and nodded._

" _I know you will…. Thank you."_

* * *

Akira pauses for moment as she remembers that conversation and her heart almost breaks again. She also almost ends up being knocked out from Temari's attack in the process and shakes her head at her questioning look. Gaara and her only meet a while ago and now he is staying over more often. She still trains gruelingly hard with Temari in the mornings, and it seems like nothing has changed. But that conversation could have taken the wrong turn and she's worries but says nothing. Akira raises her hands in front of her and nods to Temari who gives a small shrug before attacking again. She wants Gaara to trust her and in return she trusts him to keep pushing to change.

He needs the change.

* * *

It's late at night when Gaara ponders on Akira's words and he goes to his rooftop to sit under the moon. He has decided earlier that he would go to Akira's for tea after he is done. He sits with an arm on his propped-up knee and looks at the moon. He hesitates for a moment but stops his doubt as he focuses. He is the one in control, and he needs answers, there is no room for doubt.

"Shukaku?" He asks quietly aloud to the darkness as the beast moves slightly in his mind.

" _ **If this is about what Rika said then I don't care**_."

"Her name is Akira." He whispers this as he focuses on the cage around Shukaku.

He forces himself to visualize it, a large space for the demon to lay or sit up, with a strong gate in the front. Gaara could see the seal on it if he thought hard enough about it and the more he focused on the cage the clearer his mind became.

"Have you ever wanted accept-?"

" _ **What I want is blood, and death. I don't care about other people when I, the great Shukaku, exist to cause misery and pain**_!"Shukaku cackles and Gaara sighs he knows he would never get a proper answer as he pushes the glorified container into the far corners of his mind.

At least he tries to.

Shukaku slams against the bars, hitting hard enough to shake them and Gaara can easily start to see them dissolve, could see himself lose control-.

Gaara forces the walls to stay steady and moves then racing through the village. He spies things to help focus his thoughts has he runs. Things that bring his mind into clarity and focus; a broken bottle, a drunkard against a wall-.

Shukaku's claws run down the length of the bars and Gaara's brains almost become mush as he finally reaches Akira's house.

" _ **One of these days I will have control again brat**._" Shukaku hisses from the depths of Gaara's mind as Gaara all but throws himself into Akira's room and thanks her breathlessly when she presses a cup of warm tea into his hands without question. Shukaku's claws still twist and try to turn his thoughts but he ignores it. Akira watches concern on her face as Gaara shakes his head. He notices then her change of clothes.

"What are you-?"

"I have a mission tomorrow and I'm going to try and sleep for it. These," She gestures to her sweatpants, and her long-sleeved shirt. "Are my pajamas."

Gaara nods once, amused and secretly grateful for the distraction, when she lays in bed she takes a moment to point at Gaara.

"I'm going to assume you're ok and if you need anything feel free to wake me up."

Gaara nods again, and takes a breath to stop his hand from shaking, and watches as Akira lays down and tries to sleep. He pretends to read but watches with slight bemusement as she tosses and turns and before sighing and grabbing a book by her bed. He turns then to truly immerse himself when some realization hits him.

"Akira?" He asks quietly as she turns her head to him. He opens his mouth to voice what he's feeling but instead gives her a shrug and shakes his head. Akira in turn shrugs and turns back, and Gaara is thankful, truly thankful, that she doesn't pry.

Because as Akira's breathing turns smoother, and her hand falls to the bed with her book still in it, and as night rolls into dawn Gaara isn't sure what he wanted to say.

Because as he focuses on his tea, book, and her, he finds comfort and he isn't sure whether his own feelings are positive ones or not.

* * *

Akira's feet sink silently into the sand as she trails behind Gaara. She hadn't realized Gaara was her teammate until she had reached the building and found him standing there already waiting. She isn't sure when he left her room last night, only aware that she had been alone this morning.

Then again, he never usually stayed the entire night.

The mission is simple and should only take about three days altogether. Between the two of them however Baki expects it done sooner since the need for sleep is hardly required with them. She keeps quiet as they journey and Gaara has taken lead as they navigate the desert quickly and efficiently. As night rolls around they stop and make a small camp with dinner. With that happened last night, Gaara isn't sure how to voice the thoughts rolling around in his head, and is grateful when Akira breaks the silence.

"Did you like the tea last night? It was a different blend than usual." He stares at her a moment and shifts.

"It was fine. Are you not going to-?"

"Are you comfortable talking about it?" He shakes his head no and she shrugs. "Then why would I ask?"

"I just burst into your room, I-."

"I want you to be able to come over if it helps. I want to give you a place where you can relax. You're my friend." She shifts to sit more comfortably as he stares at her a little hard.

"Are you sure? Are we really friends?" His eyes glow particularly bright against the fire and Akira realizes that this moment is her last chance. Her last time to have the choice of not being his friend, of turning away.

She doesn't hesitant as she answers, "Yes we really are friends…. Why do keep asking?" She asks after a moment as Gaara looks away.

"Because I want to be friends, but I also want to protect you from Shukaku." Akira jerks back at that and sighs but Gaara looks at her then making her pause. "If you truly want to be friends, if that is what you want, I won't stop you. But I can't promise to keep you safe if you stay."

She stares at Gaara a moment before speaking, "I am a ninja of Suna, and I have a life I want to live, I won't go down as easily as you might think." Gaara blinks as she smiles at him. "I really do want us to be friends. I want to stand by you and help you anyway I can. I'm not going anywhere. Not without a fight and Shukaku doesn't scare me." Gaara's shoulders relax a little at Akira's words and it's a moment later when he glances at her again.

"Do friends share their goals? Their dreams?"

"I believe so. I'll tell you mine if you want?" She volunteers, and he pauses a moment before nodding once.

"I want to be a teacher. I like little kids and I want to be a positive influence. I want to help them like I'm helping you. I mean when all is said and done, they are the ones who hold the future of our village." She admits, and her ears burn as she clears her throat. She's embarrassed, Gaara realizes as he tries to give her what he hopes to be an encouraging look.

"I have only told my siblings this, and Baki…." He trails off and Akira shrugs a shoulder.

"You don't have to tell me, but it would be fair if you did." It's lighthearted but it does give him the nudge he needs as he nods once. He's nervous as he looks at her eyes and takes a breath.

"I want to be Kazekage. I know the villagers all fear me and I know the other shinobi don't care for my presence but I also know doing nothing will almost certainly bring a greater pain." He pauses and looks into the fire. "I want to be part of this village. So, I'm aiming for the title of Kazekage, as a shinobi of the sand, I will work hard and connect to the people of this village." He waits a moment before looking at Akira whose eyes are bright and her face surprised. He wonders briefly if he made a mistake until a slow grin spreads over and she nods once slowly.

"Ambitious but achievable. I like it." Gaara sits up more. "I'll support you every step of the way, that's what friends are for. Just let me know how I can and if I can." Akira leans forward with a hand outstretched in front of Gaara. He looks surprised as he takes it and Akira chuckles at little.

"To friends." She gives a gentle shake and a light squeeze and Gaara looks down and back up before shaking.

"To friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Demons by Imagine Dragons was the theme for the ending bit when her and Gaara are on mission. The beginning with Temari and Akira's banter had a more C'mon by Panic! at the Disco and fun. since I just imagine Temari and Akira just making a mess of Suna at one point. Either way Gaara and Akira are slowly starting to understand each other more. Akira is seeing the damages done and Gaara is starting not only to trust in but also care about Akira.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	5. Make You Feel My Love

The mission is complete, neither of them suffer from injuries, and Akira is trying to balance with one foot on a fence beam when Gaara comes out of the informant's tavern and nods to her. They had arrived at the small town at dawn, having started their travel again after dinner and only stopping when the night had reached its darkest to rest for a moment. Gaara had been quick to find the informant and as they start to travel back he wonders why it was a two-man mission.

That is until he sees tracks of them being followed and quickly signals to Akira who nods back. Gaara estimates around four people trailing them but Akira points out an extra track silently and they bring the count to five.

"So, I hear your brother wants to meet me?" The grin on her face is a cover as Gaara watches her hands as she signals the suggestions of a trap.

"Kankuro is interested in meeting someone who has become close to both Temari and I." He draws closer to her side and silently uncorks his gourd.

"Well I'll be glad to meet him, unless he's as weird as you two." She teases as she draws out those blue hued kunai and disperses them outward. The trap is almost set as they finally leave the small town completely.

The town is in a small clearing of trees just outside the Suna border and even now the trees are thin and sparse. They stop signaling about the trap as they venture away from it. Usually a mist would cover the ground but today with the bright sun overhead there is barely any cover. Akira glances at a tree and toys with the idea of her arm possibly being thicker than the trunk of it.

"Everything comes in threes." Gaara mutters more to himself as Akira whips to look at him with some surprise.

"That was in my book, I didn't think you actually read it." Another grin spreads across her face and she looks forward again before turning towards him again. She needs to pretend to be oblivious anyway she reasons and takes the chance to look away from the distance tree line.

Besides it's been a few nights since Gaara has started coming over to just read, and she likes the idea of teasing him about _that_ particular book.

"I can't believe you read something with _those_ scenes in it!" She's laughing now, full blown laughing, and Gaara stops to wait for her even as he listens and manages to keep a smile off his face. He's amused as she doubles over and must wipe at her eyes a bit, even as he fails to find some of the humor, he is pleased to know he helped cause this.

The trap is set, and in place, but it doesn't matter as Akira now stands, calmer, only to receive a senbon to the throat and collapse.

Gaara freezes for a moment, just a moment, before sand flies out and around.

They were right about the number of bandits as they come out weapons drawn, and Gaara spreads sand over Akira to protect her. He berates himself at not having done so sooner as senbon and kunai fly at him.

" _ **Let's have some fun shall we**_?" Gaara grimaces at the voice and as he fights he feels the familiar rush of pleasure as sand wraps around one of the bandits. They are dead before they can even scream.

" _ **Where's the fun if they don't scream**_?" Two of them fall together as one tries to sign a jutsu only to be swept away along with the other.

Water blasts him from behind and he grimaces again, he needs to focus on the fight. There's only three left and he's not even sure Akira is alive and-.

" _ **LET ME HAVE MY FUN**_!" Shukaku screeches and Gaara, once more glancing at Akira on the ground unmoving, lets out a small puff of air. He gives in.

Shukaku's glee at his temporary release fills Gaara's senses and he almost grins from it all. He can imagine the carnage, the mayhem, the pain he could- _would_ bring until he spies Akira out of the corner of his eye.

No.

He is stronger than this.

He has changed _._

He is in control. He needs to be in control as Shukaku's sand makes quick work of the remaining ninja.

Akira is paralyzed but she is not unconscious and she watches as Gaara finds and kills all the mercenaries and bandits surrounding them. Watches as his face contorts with anger, and some pleasure as he takes their lives and for a moment understands. Understands the fear directed at him, but as he stops and turns to her, and pulls out the senbon carefully and holds her she doesn't understand the hatred towards him. She can't understand how no one saw the difference.

Shukaku is the killer, the one who loved to hurt and destroy.

Gaara is just a boy, a boy with a soft heart who cares so deeply even for newly made friends as he looks at her pleadingly.

"Medicine right side of my pack. The needle." Akira has healed herself enough to answer but she still isn't sure what is running through her veins exactly. Gaara's fingers tremble a little as he uncaps the needle.

"Ok roll up my sleeve. In the vein. There." She pants as nausea rolls over her. Gaara nods and injects her and he doesn't have to wait long before the medicine kicks in and the paralysis wears off.

Gaara is still holding her and pulls Akira closer as she tries to push away, before shooting off from the ground. Her head starts to pound as he carries her away and she manages to get some words out to him as she tries to analyze what was going on with her body.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere safe for the night." Is all he says, and Akira lets herself relax a bit as she tries to heal herself and use the medicine to her advantage. She trusts Gaara even if she has no idea where he is heading even as she loses track of time from the pounding in her head.

* * *

Gaara hates how helpless he is and how quiet Akira is being as they race away. He knows of an inn close by, but away from the town they were just at. Akira is warm in his arms and he senses her charka spike occasionally, which helps calm his nerves.

Although, Shukaku's antics of wanting more bloodshed as he smashes against his cage walls doesn't help matters.

By the time Gaara finds the small inn, Akira is well enough to stand and checking in looks less suspicious. He sends a message to Baki and decides to stay put for the night when Akira's head starts to pound again.

"But the mission is done, we just need to get home I can-." She moves to stand and winces in pain and a glare from Gaara has her silent and laying back down on the single bed room. Others were available but seeing how they look like a couple, and that Gaara himself doesn't need rest, he had settled on the single bed hoping to be more inconspicuous.

Akira watches silently as Gaara paces the room, and mutters to himself. She tries to hear what he is saying but gives up after a particular throb makes her sight go blurry.

"How much rest do you need?" He asks quietly as she sighs.

"They injected me with a basic paralysis poison, the headaches are just my body's way of dealing with it since it was injected so close to it. The medicine and antidote I took should help relieve me of pain in a few hours. I just need to rest since I already used more charka than I should have to speed up the process." Gaara nods once and sits on the bed.

"I'm sorry I-."

"Don't be sorry I let my guard down too much." She shifts slightly and closes her eyes, "I'm more upset with myself than anything since we had the trap ready."

Gaara looks at her a moment and shifts. His chest is tight, and he wants to trust her considering she is the medic, but he almost lost her. This friendship is still new, but the nights with her so far have helped him so much, and he doesn't want to give up this new comfort. He doesn't want to lose her and maybe it's the concern that has his chest tight as looks at the ground.

"You are going to be ok correct?" He asks a tad hesitantly and Akira opens her eyes and smiles at him.

"I'll be fine. I'm going to get changed so I can rest easier. That and it took you a while to get us here." She gestures to the window and Gaara realizes nightfall is approaching.

"You're heavy." He states giving her a look as Akira chuckles.

"I doubt it. You're just slow. And it's your gourd that's incredibly heavy." Gaara tilts his head in question at that as Akira looks away her ears turning pink.

"I may have maybe tried to lift it one day while you were in the bathroom." She says before clearing her throat and shifting off the bed.

"Oh and before I forget, are you ok?" She asks as she looks at him scanning him over once and he feels the corner of his mouth twitch. He stops it though before he nods once.

"I'm fine." He lies and Akira's eyes narrow for a moment before she makes her way to the bathroom.

Shukaku has been nonstop since he had to protect Akira. Since he had to kill. Claws scratch and paw at his thoughts and he could feel himself slipping. Killing had been so damn _**easy like it used to be**_ -.

He takes a wavering breath and clenches his fist. He needs to stop thinking like that, it is dangerous and reckless. Gaara reminds himself that he has changed, that he is different. He has his siblings, ( _ **traitors**_ ), his village ( _ **liars**_ ), to think of, to believe in. He rubs a hand over his face as the bathroom door opens and he glances up through his fingers at the door.

He has almost forgotten his newfound friend.

( _ **Victim**_ ).

He needs to hold her, feel the warmth of **_blood beneath her skin_** , and he's taken aback by the thoughts, despite already moving towards the door.

_**Towards her.** _

Akira turns to smile at him as she pulls the towel away from her shoulders. She feels better having washed her face but stops when she sees Gaara's face.

And his yellow diamond eyes.

She moves as he stumbles past her and tries almost desperately not to touch her. Sand follows in his wake like a giant wave and she pauses to look down at it and as it closes the door before she can leave.

"Gaa- Shit!" She yells as sand blasts her against the door. It holds but her right shoulder now bleeds freely and Gaara freezes sand dispersing as he sinks to the floor.

He's hurt her. He's hurt the one of the only friends he has. He's losing control. Shukaku's laughter shakes him more than he cares to admit, and he watches as she looks at him with wide shocked eyes. How the hell can he be Kazekage if he hurts his friends? If he hurts the people closest to him? How can he gain the trust of the village if he can't keep his damn demon under-?

" _ **There's still no fear**_." Shukaku growls suddenly, furious, and Gaara uses the amazement, the anger, from the realization to take back control.

Because he's better than those doubts that swim in his head. He's better than Shukaku and the person he used to be.

He's _changed_ damn it.

Akira mutters something, but Gaara's stare is vacant as he reigns Shukaku back into his damned cage and presses it back into his subconscious. Even if he is changed it is too late. Akira will leave, and he refuses to look at her knowing Shukaku would be wrong. There would be fear and he would lose his only other friend. Because what he has done is different than simply yelling now and he doesn't deserve forgiveness.

"I'm sorry-" He starts to mumble. He wants to at least try and make things right, but instead Akira surprises him as she throws her arms around his neck where they now both kneel on the floor.

"I'm ok. I forgive you. It's ok." She mutters softly and gently against his shoulder, and he feels her fingers slid through his hair in calming strokes. She hugs him for a second longer before pulling back and showing her arm. Blood is still caked on it, but the wound is gone.

"See? I'm a medic remember? And I know Shukaku was just being an ass again. Just breath. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Her voice is like velvet as though she can read his fears. Gaara doesn't realize he is shaking until he pulls her in for another hug. He mumbles another apology against her shoulder and she simply hugs him a bit tighter.

"I forgive you." She mutters and even though they have hugged before it feels like the first time. Her scent wavers over him and he clings to her warmth and how soft she feels against him. He swears he can feel his soul steady finally and as he peels away from her she tucks her shoulder under his arm. Together they finally move out of the bathroom and once he's sitting on the bed, she goes back to finish washing the blood off her arm.

Gaara and Akira sit on the bed shoulders touching and he feels more peace than he has at the start of the mission. When he glances at her though, he can see her mind working as she bites her lower lip. She shifts then and pushes her shirt down to reveal her shoulder as she points to a tiny thin white scar on her left shoulder.

"You see that?" She asks softly as he nods. "My brother gave me that scar when he shoved me through a glass door." Gaara's eyes widen and she chuckles.

"We were roughhousing, and he didn't realize how hard he shoved me until I went through the door. It was an accident, so I forgave him." She slides her shirt back into place and sighs. "This wasn't an accident. Shukaku wants me dead and I know that. But you need to start letting us help you." She looks him in the eyes and sees confusion in his mint colored stare.

"Us?" He asks gently tilting his head as Akira shrugs.

"You know. Temari, Kankuro, and me. I don't know what it's like having someone press on you to go back to things. To make you change back when you're fighting so hard to be better than you were. But I know talking helps." She shifts bringing a knee up on the bed to face him more as she reaches for his hand.

"When I first got my memories, I didn't want to talk about them and it made it worse. Talking about them helped me process what had happened to me. I'm not saying you have to open up and trust us completely, hell," she pauses as she looks up at his eyes with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "We just recently became friends. But if you need a distraction, if you need someone to talk to even if we don't understand completely…. We are here for you. Gaara your siblings love you. Let them love you." Her voice is soft again as he looks at her with wide surprised eyes and nods once. She grins at him then and shifts on the bed again, so they are once more shoulder to shoulder. She realizes then she still has his hand in hers but when she goes to let go Gaara entwines their fingers and leans his head on her shoulder.

The peace he felt before has seemingly multiplied when she has reminded him about his siblings. Ever since they had fixed their bond, Temari and Kankuro have been supportive and protective. He should have known this, it seems obvious now.

But having not been loved before, and feeling this now, he can't help but feel….

Everything?

Overwhelmed?

Hell, he doesn't even really know what to call this.

"How do you cope? With all these feelings all the time?" He asks quietly as Akira blinks having frozen out of shock when his head touched her shoulder.

"Well it depends on what you're feeling, but normally you just breath and go with the strongest one." She says though her tongue feels fat in her mouth and she clears her throat.

"Let's lay down and I'll help distract you for a while." She tilts her head to catch a sight of Gaara's face who turns to give her a look. She feels her face heat up as she blinks and mockingly glares at him.

"You know exactly what I mean you pervert." She hisses despite the smile on her face as Gaara shakes his head amused and sits up.

Akira curls up under the covers and Gaara lays next to her on top of them. She leans her head against his shoulder and tells him of her brother when they were kids. Of the adventures, and misadventures, they went on, and the times they accidentally hurt each other. She takes his mind off what happened with Shukaku and later when she yawns and falls asleep he thinks of her stories. Of the protective brother he hasn't meet yet, and how he wishes he and his own siblings had a better childhood.

* * *

Baki glares at the two teens in front of him and sighs deeply. After Akira had rested, and her injuries were healed enough for them to continue, her and Gaara had raced back to the village. He had wanted this mission done sooner thus leading him to send two insomniacs instead of regular ninja. Instead he has an injured medic and a boy who should have protected his teammate better.

"And after the bandits attacked?" He asks scanning the report and Gaara opens his mouth to speak when Baki gives him a look. Gaara's mouth closes when he sees it and glances at Akira who swallows.

"Gaara took care of them sir." Is all she says and is all she was going to say until Baki looks between the two of them and waves Gaara out.

He leans forward arms resting on his desk and stares at Akira. She fights off a shiver at the soul piercing gaze as his voice lowers.

"Was there any sign of control being lost?" He asks and Akira knows he doesn't mean control loss of the situation.

"No control was lost today sir." She lies and meets his gaze willing him to believe her as Baki glances her over once more before dismissing her.

Baki turns to watch out the window as the former Konoha shinobi leaves and he takes a minute to blink making sure he isn't hallucinating when he sees Gaara waiting for her.

He stares with his mouth slightly ajar in a comical fashion as the two walks away. He had heard the rumors, had saw them nod to each other in acknowledgement the other day but this?

Baki turns away and mutters to himself about paperwork and being overworked as he shakes away ideas of the new Suna couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Make You Feel My Love by Adele was more for after he lost control of Shukaku and for the scene of them simply lying in bed. I like to think of the song as Gaara still being unsure deep down of Akira's want to help him until she hugs him and tries like hell to be understanding. But if you want for the beginning I had Natural by Imagine Dragons for the fighting. (Also that is a foreshadow, they are not a couple, just a village rumor for clarification.)
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	6. 40 Day Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Different style for this chapter since it flowed easier this way. Takes place over the course of a month or so following that mission. Just a fun filler-esc chapter. Also none of these are in any particular order, except the last scene which flows into the next chapter.
> 
> But have fun reading, enjoy!

**i.**

Gaara is sitting on the couch with a book between his hands and his gourd by the front door along with his sandals. Akira is on the floor, by the other end of the couch, with scrolls spread out in front of her and on the coffee table. She mumbles under her breath as Gaara tries to read and relax and enjoy the sight of Akira huffing over the scrolls as she tries to make sense of them. Her wet hair isn't helping her focus as she has to keep moving the shorter strands back as they stick to her face. Training with Temari had gone on as normal, and after her shower, Gaara had surprised her by coming over when the sun was up for once. Baki had suggested that he should make less nightly visits, (Gaara wasn't sure why Baki suggested that until Temari mentioned that he leaves every night to go over to Akira's. He still doesn't see the problem.) and since he respects Baki, and doesn't want to worry the man, he obliged.

Kana smiles as she walks into her house, and kicks off her sandals. She shifts the bags in her hands around as she enters the living room and looks over at the two shinobi currently occupying it. Although she doesn't appreciate Akira's redhead friend coming over in the middle of the night, she does like the boy who keeps her daughter out of trouble. She holds up a bag containing some reddish-purple fruit she brought as she moves toward the kitchen.

"I got you kids a treat!" She calls as both the kids turn their heads toward her.

"What is it?" Akira asks raising a brow as she carefully moves around her study area, while her mother swings the bag towards her.

"Why don't you take the bag and find out." Akira rolls her eyes and grabs the bag as her mother sets the rest on the table and begins to sort out the food. Gaara sets down his book, intrigued as Akira pulls out a large round dark maroon colored fruit.

"What are these? They look like mutant apples." Akira makes a face as Kana merely plucks one of the dark red fruits out of the bag.

"I was told to only eat the seeds, but it's a fruit that is apparently sinfully delicious." Kana explains as she cuts it in half while Akira looks over her shoulder and tilts her head. The dark red seeds glisten in the light while the flesh of the fruit looks dry and tasteless.

"Sound like something we shouldn't eat."

"Sounds like something we should eat at least once." Her mother winks and Akira narrows her eyes.

"You've had it before haven't you."

"Yes, and it is delicious." She gives them both a grin as she offers some seeds to her daughter.

"Try a seed." She says as she pops one into her mouth. Akira shrugs and Gaara also decides to partake the red fruit.

It isn't long before they've consumed the rest of the seeds, fingers stained red from the juices and Akira's pink lips look sinful. The fruit peels easily under their fingers and Akira is quick to catch any before they fell to the floor. She chuckles as Gaara eats majority of what hasn't happened to tumble out of the fruit. Kana laughs at the two as Akira turns to grab another one and cuts it in half while Gaara throws away the peels.

"I take it you two like them?" She asks rhetorically as Akira eats another seed.

"I suppose you could say that." She mutters dryly looking at her mother as Gaara grabs the other half of the fruit.

"Hey get your own!" Akira yells making a grab for it but Gaara looks at her for a moment before dashing back into the other room. She blinks for a moment before sighing.

"Well I at least have-HEY!" She shouts as sand quickly and carefully grabs the other half as Kana bows forward laughing.

"Glad you like the pomegranates!" She shouts after Akira as her daughter races after Gaara.

Gaara is halfway up the stairs quietly and peacefully eating his half of the strange fruit as his sand quickly delivers the other half.

He only moves off the stairs when Akira comes barreling up them moments later.

He keeps a straight face as he quickly runs into her room and shuts the door giving him enough time to jump out of the window as Akira leans out halfway glaring.

"You aren't getting anymore you idiot!" She shouts as Gaara stands on the ground outside and calmly looks up at Akira and he pops more seeds into his mouth.

That's how Temari finds them when she goes to invite her idiots for lunch.

Akira screaming out a window as Gaara looks up without a care as he eats.

Temari contemplates turning around until Akira spots her and points down as Gaara.

"Your brother is an idiot!"

"I know!" Temari shouts back after a sigh and Gaara doesn't bother to look offended.

* * *

**ii.**

"You see that one?" Akira asks as she points up to the star scattered sky.

"Yes, I know that one." He says after a moment of trying to see exactly which star she is pointing at.

"Really? What is it then?" She asks a bit teasing as Gaara looks at her.

"It's a constellation." He says dryly and Akira rolls her eyes, letting out a puff of air in amusement, as she lazily raises her hand to bat his shoulder. She's smiling though and Gaara is pleased as she shifts so their shoulders rest against each other.

"Whatever. It's called The Hunter here, but in Konoha they called it The Archer." Gaara tilts his head at her explanation.

"Why is it different in Konoha?" He inquires as Akira shrugs her shoulder and she chuckles as it forces Gaara's to move a bit as well.

"I'm not sure. Either way the constellation is a person with a bow so both titles fit." She mutters before looking at Gaara. "The Archer sounds better than the Hunter though."

Gaara gives her a look before pointing up at the sky. "Do you know this one?" He asks as Akira tilts her head closer to his. He can feel his skin prickle at the feeling of her breath so close it before she moves away.

"Hmm I don't think so, what is it?" She asks as she leans back away as Gaara turns towards her.

Their proximity causes him to pause before he turns back away. "It's the Scorpion. There isn't really a story just a scorpion." Akira blinks and frowns.

"Where is it again?"

"Here." Gaara points again and their heads are touching as he traces the constellation in the sky. Akira watches his finger before finally seeing The Scorpion.

"Ah I see it." She leans back away before sitting up. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

"What blend is it this time?"

"It's a blend your sister-."

"I would highly recommend throwing it out." His harsh serious tone causes Akira to laugh a little as Gaara sits up to look at her.

"It can't be that bad-."

"Temari hasn't made a nice blend of tea in her life." Gaara deadpans and Akira sweat drops at of his tone. "I'll bring a blend of my tea tomorrow."

"Well thank you," Akira tilts her head as she lays back down on the blanket. "At least one of my best friends can make a decent blend of-."

"What?" Gaara asks whipping his head to look at her as Akira blinks.

"What?"

"I'm…I'm your best friend?" He asks hesitantly as Akira blinks and gives him a soft smile.

"Of course, you are." She moves then sitting up and leans against him so their shoulders bump. "My brother, your sister and you are the people I am the closest to. Aside from my mom. You come over maybe a bit more than your sister, but I care about both of you." She says kindly but Gaara is still staring at her shocked. Akira swallows wondering if maybe she should have waited a bit longer to tell him that as he looks down for a moment.

"I understand if-."

"You're my best friend too." His voice is almost a whisper and he looks at her almost shyly as he finally lifts his head, and Akira finds the act endearing and a bit surprising.

"Glad to hear it." She says as she slings an arm over his shoulders and hugs him close for a moment and Gaara is slightly surprised at the gesture. Before he can reciprocate her arm falls to her side and once more they are looking at the stars.

Only now when their eyes catch Akira grins at him more and he gives her a small smile back.

* * *

**iii.**

"Akira elbows off the table!"

"My elbows aren't on the table _mom_!"

"Will you please pass the salt?"

"Gaara not now I'm trying to teach-."

"Wow that wasn't very polite Temari!"

"I just need-."

"Like you know anything about being polite, treehugger."

"Oh, I know more than you, you sand eating-."

"I'm just going to-."

"Gaara get your sand away from my food!"

"Gross-!"

"I'm never eating lunch with you two again."

* * *

**iv.**

"Gaara I swear-!"

"There was nothing-."

"I don't care just leave."

"No."

"Gaa-."

"Akira. I am not leaving, you're being unreasonable and-."

"It's my room, how am I being-."

"Because you're not listening, and being emotional-."

"Sorry for not having the emotional spectrum of a tin can-." She chokes on her own words trying to stop herself and looks down as Gaara stares at her with wide eyes. Neither say anything as she turns to leave the room, but sand keeps the door closed.

"Ga-." She stops and sighs when he grabs her hand and pulls her away from it. He doesn't hug her or make her look at him, still holding her hand lightly he says,

"Just stay here."

She waits a heartbeat still looking down as guilt eats at her. "I am so sorry."

"I know."

Akira sits on the bed then as Gaara sits next to her in silence. The fight has been over nothing important and yet it had felt necessary at the time. Eventually, when both are willing and able, they go and make a pot of tea together. A peace treaty that Gaara offers after Akira mutters another apology and Gaara nods and apologizes himself. By the time the tea whistles, she's feeling better and when the cups are poured Gaara pauses.

"What?" Akira asks tilting her head as she bites her lip nervous he's still upset from the spat.

"Should we hug?" He asks still holding his cup confused as Akira smiles in relief and amusement.

"Do you want one?" He nods as he gently places his cup down, and the relishes the warmth that spreads through him as she wraps her arms around his chest.

"You're still my best friend." She mutters as she rests her cheek against his chest and he smiles at bit at her, although she doesn't see and he squeezes.

"And you're still mine."

* * *

**v.**

Shukaku watches with disgust as his vessel and the dark haired annoying shinobi girl grow closer. The spats they have been having due to him, have done nothing but strengthen their bond. When Gaara clutches his head and grows irritable the damn bitch pulls him away from his work and onto her bed where they meditate. When she's grumbling about something (Shukaku could care less), Gaara asks her questions about her brother and her family. Or he leaves his work and sits on the bed with her silently, reading a book.

Now he _desperately_ wants control back. Gaara doesn't even realize he's falling for this girl. Looking at her lips and eyes, and craving the hugs, and company she brings. She has a lightness to her that he wants, and Shukaku hears and sees just how clear it is. His sister's knowing smile bothers him too because the damn blonde can see and doesn't do anything to stop it.

If anything, she encourages it. The older girl is practically glued to- what is her name? Keiko? Anyway, they are glued to each other during the day and when the three of them get lunch it's not silence like how it used to be. It's lighter, and full of laughter and teases, it's sweet and full of joy and it makes Shukaku want to throw up, and shred them all, at the same time.

" _ **Shes dying first**_." Shukaku mutters and Gaara slams more barriers down at the inclination. He's gotten better since that mission, and the mediation and scrolls he reads gives him more weapons to use against Shukaku.

Shukaku really, really, hates this girl as he swishes his tail, aggravated.

And he also hates how he is the only one to hate her.

He wants to tear this girl apart because he knows that Gaara will succumb to him again if he does. She simply got stabbed last mission and he almost lost it. Shukaku just needs a really good push. And she can give it to him.

But he doesn't do anything. He sits and sucks it up and listens with disgust.

He's the almighty Shukaku of the Desert.

But that woman Kana could be his undoing.

Although he hates what he sees and hears, a simply twist to the seal, could make it so he is truly trapped within Gaara and that's the last thing he wants. At least now he can manipulate thoughts, suppress memories if he truly wants to and this satisfies him enough for now.

He pauses.

Manipulate his vessel? Of course, he could, he has done it before and a terrible plan brews in his mind. He can manipulate his vessel, and if whatsherface is the push he needs, may as well make the fall a great one. He grins as he thinks and plots and plans and moves thedamnbitch more to the forefront of Gaara's mind. He makes his focus even more on her smile, her eyes, her hips when he's walking behind her. Yes, this will work. He will notice how the light hits her hair and eyes, wonder at her as they talk.

Gaara will fall in love with her, and Shukaku will destroy them both.

Oh, how the mighty fall in love.

* * *

**vi.**

They are eating, peacefully, for once, when Akira breaks the peace.

"What should I call you guys?" She asks as Temari looks up from her salad, and Gaara from his salted tongue.

"What?" Temari asks confused as Akira sighs.

"Should I call you guys Lady Temari and Lord Gaara?" She asks and immediately wants to take it back as Temari wrinkles her nose in distaste for a moment before grinning.

"I expect you to call me Lady Temari, Queen of Badassness."

"I am one hundred percent certain that is not a word, and I will not call you that." Akira gives Temari a blank look as Gaara finishes his bite of food.

"Just Gaara." He offers Akira who nods to him.

"See? Your brother is sensible." Temari snorts.

"My brother is just being nice, you're the one who asked a stupid question."

"It wasn't stu-."

"Oh yes it was-."

"I need new people to eat lunch with." Gaara mutters to himself as the two begin to bicker.

* * *

**vii.**

Gaara is adorable.

The realization hits her hard one night when he comes into her room in a flurry of sand and excitement. He's the closest to grinning she's ever seen as he drags her out of the room. He doesn't give her any information until they are in a lot on the outskirts of the village. He pulls her along the fresh tilled soil before plopping on the ground dragging her down with him. He points excitedly to the ground and Akira looks to see little sprouts having finally pushed their way out to face the bright sunlight. Although it is currently the middle of the night and very cold outside, she can't be annoyed when she sees the look on his face. She looks at him then and finds him smiling at her and his sprouts.

He excitedly tells her about how he's been working on this, the different studies he's examined for good breeding between the plants, and how hard it has been to make time for this garden between his duties, training, and spending time with Akira. He's explaining the plants then, some of their properties, and Akira is slightly exasperated at the sudden information and at being swept out of her room without much warning.

She's smiling and asking questions and nodding though despite everything, because this is the happiest Gaara has been in front of her and he's so damn excited his sand is moving to show which plants his talking about without him realizing. Although part way through some of his explanations he loses her, and there are parts she just smiles and nods at in vague understanding. And when he looks at her with a warm and happy smile, not quite a grin, and the brightness in his eyes, her heart can't help but skip a beat.

She realizes a few things in span of Gaara finishing up his explanations, apologizing for grabbing her (which is fine, just a hint of where they are going next time, please?) and finally going back to her room.

He's absolutely adorable.

She never wants that brightness of his to fade.

That thinking he is adorable is fine but anything more will lead to things she does not want.

(Even though now that she's looking, he is also quite handsome.)

And Temari is going to kick her ass extra hard when she finds out because Akira can't lie to her.

* * *

**viii.**

"Do you miss anything about Konoha?" Gaara asks one night before he can overthink the simple question to death. Akira looks at him surprised before she sighs and gives him a small smile.

"Yeah, I miss my brother, I miss the rain and the smell of it, and I miss my spot." She sits up from laying on her stomach and clears her throat embarrassed. "It's just this little alcove in some trees, it gets misty from the morning dew and when the sun hits it just right, everything looks so beautiful." She sighs before shrugging. "That's it though, I don't miss the winter, I hate the cold. I don't miss the trees and how everyday blends together. Here in Suna the heat at least helps you feel like you're alive and you don't have to worry if anything is lurking in the forests." Gaara nods in understanding before pausing a moment.

He thinks about how his life would be different with her. No peaceful nights with company and warm tea, no dinner time banter between mother and daughter to weigh in on. Even his sister would probably be less bright. It hits him then, how strange life can be since it hasn't been long since the two meet, but they have spent almost every night together. So, when he looks at her, he is thankful, not only for her, but for having meet her.

"I'm glad you came to Suna." He finally says as Akira rolls her eyes amused.

"I know and I'm glad too."

* * *

**ix.**

Gaara watches as she sits by her window gazing out as she does most nights her mother leaves on mission. He watches as she parts her lips to speak but it is not to him she addresses. He looks away from her as her lips move in her silent prayer. Shinobi are rarely religious, and he never asked if she was because of this. Now as he sits in the quiet waiting for her to finish, he wonders what else does he not know about her.

"I pray for you too sometimes." She doesn't turn from the window as she slumps.

"My thoughts on religion are different. I don't believe that there is someone watching always, I believe that there is a creator and they intervene now and again, but they don't look all the time. Our prayers call for attention and maybe they'll listen." She turns from the window then and gives him a small smile.

"So, I pray that maybe they'll prevent a mission from going bad when I'm anxious about the level of it. I pray for you when you're here on your bad nights. And I pray for Shukaku and that he'll stop being an asshole." She gives him a wink as she settles on the bed next to him after pushing the chair back to the desk.

"I don't personally believe." He mutters in response as his brow furrows trying to understand her concepts. If he couldn't touch it, see it, or feel it, is it real? Love is real since he could see it in the actions of another, but the divine things Akira's talking about don't touch him in the same way.

"I'm not asking you to. Just thought maybe you were curious what I was doing." She shrugs as he nods once before moving to the desk and he pauses a moment before sitting down.

"Thank you though. It means a lot." He says as he finally sits, and Akira looks at him surprised but he is looking at her meaningfully and she smiles. She is glad the gesture has touched him, but is unaware of Gaara's heart thumping a little harder as she reaches out to gently pat his cheek. He feels his neck grow warm at her soft sweet smile.

"You're welcome."

* * *

**x.**

The gentle sounds of pages being turn as a pen scratches over paper fill the quiet space. Warm cups of tea sit near each other in the soft yellow glow of the lamp light. Steam rising from the cups dances delicately before dispersing completely. He sits, back straight in the chair, and she lays, stomach pressed into the bed. Soft breathing all around and he leans back and slouches a moment to enjoy the peace that fills his soul.

* * *

**xi.**

Sand blasts upwards in a spray behind her as Akira runs against the curved sides of the crater, her feet sinking into the sand just enough to get purchase before dashing off as she pants. Temari grins from the middle of the crater the two have made, fan fully open as she waves it once more. Determined to land another decent hit on the darker haired girl as Akira grits her teeth and skids to a stop as Temari's gust bites into the sand in slices just in front of her.

"I've got you now!" Temari shouts as twirls her fan around and Akira leaps down toward the center of the crater, tired of dodging attacks. Chakra fills her lungs as she signs quickly allowing gravity to carry her closer to Temari as she runs.

"Fire Style: Flame Bullet!" Akira shouts as she slides to a stop and takes a deep breath before allowing fire to exit from her lips as she forces Temari's wind to shape into her own attack. Temari frowns at the wall of fire and leaps on her fan, flying away from the inferno. Akira glaces at Temari and the sides of the crater before smiling. She pours chakra into her legs as she dashes to where Temari will be closest to the ground, and jumps up towards her. Akira grins as she reaches the same height as the blonde, the fire on one side and herself on the other.

Until she sees Temari's smirk and Akira notices the blood smeared on her fan. Temari's summons, Kamatari, arrives in front of her and blasts her back into the sand.

"Well looks like I win!" Temari says floating down as Akira groans sitting up.

"Dammit we said no summons!" She shouts as Temari finally lands and offers a hand. Akira grabs it and Temari helps her up.

"We never said that about this particular spar." Temari counters with a smile as Akira gives her a look before shoving her down. Temari lands hard on the sand and looks offended as Akira laughs.

"Hey I always land ass first in the sand, it was about time you did too!" and Temari tries hard not to smile as she rolls her eyes and Akira plops down next to her. The two sits and watch the sky for a moment allowing the sweat to dry a moment in the heat of the desert sun. Akira has forgone her longer sleeved beige shirt and flask jacket for her simple black no sleeve tight fitted shirt that allowed the mesh armor under it to stay in place. She still wore the longer pants and usual shinobi sandals. She usually wore this outfit training with Temari since she hated having to buy new clothes from Temari ripping the sleeves to her current ones. It also still covered her scars enough for her to be comfortable walking around in it.

"Kankuro still wants to meet you, you free tomorrow for dinner? Temari asks as Akira shakes her head.

"I have to train with my mother. I'm learning her sealing techniques, remember? Then I have a mission, and I don't know when I'll be free but I'll let you know when I am." Temari nods once and two moves to stand.

"It's getting closer isn't it?" Temari asks as she waves her fan one last time and the crater disappears Akira's eyes darken for a moment as she nods.

"Yes, I will let you know if anything happens though. I should be fine." She mutters quietly as Temari looks at her a moment and nods once.

"Here if you need me." She says with a shrug as the two ventures into the village, the conversation light again as Temari and Akira laugh together.

* * *

**xii.**

Akira spins around in the dark blue dress Temari is letting her try on and smiles a tiny bit as it flows around her legs. She doesn't exactly like the skin she is showing but dresses have always taken a soft spot in her heart. Temari watches with a critical eye before humming and tapping her chin as she considers the dress.

"If you had bigger boobs it would look better."

"At least I'm not top-heavy." She snips back and the two grin before Temari pulls out another dress, this time a dark green that had complimented her teal eyes last year.

"Try this one on, and then we'll have the boys give us advice for the last two." Akira shrugs and goes into Temari's joint bathroom and changes quickly and carefully hangs up the dark blue dress before stepping out.

"I don't even think I'll be able to go to the festival. I mean I missed it last year, and chances are with my missions lately I'll miss it again." Her hair is longer than it has been in the past and the ends tickle her shoulders as she spins in the dark green as Temari smiles.

"Just finish your mission early and we won't have to worry." Akira gives Temari a raised brow.

"I will say that I'm surprised to hear he's going. Just doesn't seem like something he would do."

"Well he wants to be Kazekage, so he has to get used to festivals, and his birthday is next week as well-."

"WHAT-?!" Akira screeches whirling on Temari who blinks surprised.

"You didn't know?"

"Of course, I didn't know! Otherwise I wouldn't be screaming!"

"What's going-?" Gaara stops when he sees Akira in the dark green dress with her dark hair curling by her shoulders and her wide brown eyes on his as Temari screeches.

"Gaara get out-!"

"Is your birthday really next week-?!"

Temari whirls on Akira then yelling at her to change and Akira shouts back, but Gaara is staring even though he knows he shouldn't be. Akira has so many scars on her arms and legs, and-. Akira's eyes lock with his again, and her face turns pale before she scurries into the bathroom. Temari turns and looks at her brother's face. Slight disgust and concern greet her and she looks at him disappointed.

"How dare-." She starts but Gaara brushes past her and calls through the door.

"I'm sorry." He stops a moment and takes a breath. "My birthday is January 19."

"Ok, I'll... see you later." She calls back hesitantly and Temari growls at him.

"Do better than apologize." She hisses quietly and Gaara nods once already trying to think of something as he leaves.

Later that night he pulls her close for a hug and apologizes again. She nods but when she doesn't look him in the eyes he tilts his head down.

"I don't understand completely if you're ashamed of them, and you don't have to explain anything. I shouldn't have looked at you like that. But I don't mind them." Akira raises a brow and looks at him a moment.

"So you wouldn't get rid of my scars?" She asks.

"Does my opinion really matter? It's your body. I can't tell you-."

"I get that, but would you get rid of them?" Gaara gives her a look.

"I don't want to change anything about you. Scars and all." He mutters and when Akira smiles at him, her eyes light up, and Gaara feels a weight slide off his chest.

* * *

**xiii.**

Today has been a good day. Lunch with Kankuro had went over well and he finally talked to him about heart problems (Kankuro had understood what he had meant), and how monstrous he still feels at times. Kankuro hadn't finished his lunch but the conversation had made Gaara realize that he wasn't totally at fault. Yes, he is a monster now, but it had spread like a disease from Yashamaru and his father. He feels lighter after the conversation and Temari had even given him a hug at dinner when he requested it.

Now as Gaara stops at Akira's window, the smile on his face turns in to a frown at the dark empty room.

His brow furrows as he looks around confused before he sets his gourd down. He spies a note on the desk held in place by an empty mug.

' _Gaara,_

_Out on mission, here's a note in case you forgot, or I forgot to mention it. But here's your favorite cup and you're welcome to stay._

_-Akira._

_P.S. My mom is gone as well so please lock up when you leave._ '

Gaara looks at the mug and realizes it is one he has favored since coming over. He didn't even notice he had been favoring it as he stares at the plain design of swirls on it. He looks around the empty room once more before turning on the lamp and makes his decision. One cup of tea. Just one and then he would leave. Because this is still his safe place.

And even if Akira isn't here it doesn't mean he is intruding.

Even if it feels like he is

So, he sits and manages to get his work done but as he finishes up he realizes he's waiting for something. A turn of a page, a gentle sigh or giggle. Something to show he isn't alone in the quiet room and even the light isn't as soft as it usually is. The chair is once again too squishy for his taste and he feels out of place in the quiet room. Something is missing, and he knows what it is.

There is no light turn of pages, there is no gentle breathing in the distance. No other mug sits next to his on the desk and he sits for a moment. One last final try. He sits in the quiet and waits for the peace to enter his soul, but it doesn't.

Akira is gone and so is his peace.

Shukaku stirs a bit just enough to make the thought fill him with anxiety.

Gaara drains the rest of the tea, collects his things, and locks Akira's window after himself.

This place is not his safe place without her, so he heads back home and somewhere along the way realizes that it's not just the feeling Akira gives him, but her company as well. The quiet had been too quiet to begin with, he wanted her there.

He lands at his home and settles himself behind his desk, and his work is done in a few moments more. He looks down and wonders what he should do now? Akira usually would give him a book or drag him star gazing again and-.

And when did she engross herself so deeply in his life that he is lost without her?

Shukaku chuckles as the thought rolls around his head.

" _ **Tell her you missed her. Tell her she means the world to you**_." He says dryly and sarcastically as Gaara grimaces. It's only half true but he would mean it, having missed her anyway, but the thought leaves him feeling awkward and unsure.

"I'll tell her I missed her." He resolves, because chances are she'll say it back or maybe even first.

Shukaku grins behinds his bars as his plan furthers itself along, and he makes sure to pull at Gaara's heartstrings when he thinks about Akira just a bit. So, it feels natural as his host starts to fall for this poor unfortunate soul.

* * *

**xvi.**

Gaara glances at Akira as they walk through the streets. Temari's work had been neglected do to her leaving to go to lunch so often so she was not joining them. She also is in a terrible mood since she had proceeded to slam the door in their faces after they had asked if she was joining them.

Gaara is sure it is about the work and nothing more.

However, Akira had given him a sidelong glance before smiling and mentioning how Shikamaru had been picked as the ambassador for Konoha and maybe that was why Temari was sensitive. Gaara had looked at her confused before muttering about work again.

"I'll be right back." Akira mutters rising out of her seat, their order already put in as Gaara glances out towards the road. Today is going by peacefully as he nudges his gourd closer to the table with his leg.

Or it would have been, as Kankuro happily spies his brother waiting in the restaurant and goes inside. Gaara is lost in thought as Kankuro bounds over to him and throws himself upon his brothers back.

"Gaara! How have you been? Temari ditch out on you again, don't worry I'll eat with you today!" He grins as Gaara's brow furrows.

"You don't have money to pay for your own lunch do you?"

"Gaara I am shocked! I could pay, but we both know that you are probably right." He says as he grins at Gaara and takes Akira's chair.

"Kankuro-."

"Here is your order!" the waiter says placing down the food Akira and him had ordered as Gaara nods once to him and Kankuro gasps.

"Wow, is this all for you?" He asks eyes wide at the two orders as Gaara shakes his head.

"No Kankuro-."

"Is one for me then? Because I am starving!" He says pulling Akira's meal closer when sand shoots out and pushes his hands away as gently and forcibly as he could.

"Hey what gives?!"

"Excuse me but you're in my-." Akira cuts off as Kankuro turns around to see who is behind him.

Their eyes meet and Gaara watches with wide eyes as Kankuro leaps from the chair, and Akira steps back. Their faces once shocked now were filled with anger and some hatred.

"YOU!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

"I'm having lunch with my friend-."

"No I'm having lunch with my brother!" Realization hits them as they whip around to Gaara, who is suddenly thankful they are seated outside.

"Gaara!" they yelled simultaneously as Gaara frowns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: 40 Day Dream by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros is just a great song that I personally feel like a montage of scenes could go to. Like the music plays in the background of this chapter while Gaara and Akira become closer over the course of the month or so. (Like a month and a half?) Anyway, I just wanted to showcase this little song because I feel like it's a sweet song about a girl and how everything feels too good to be true.
> 
> Quick note though, the next chapter starts right after the scene with Kankuro and explains a little bit about why the two acted the way they did.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	7. Say You Won't Let Go

Gaara pushes through the front door and allows it to bang against the wall, annoyed at the recent turn of events as he stalks into his home. Temari appears in the door way then just in time to see the humorous event, even if Gaara looks murderous.

Gaara stalks by with his sand wrapped and immobilizing one dark haired best friend, and one loud older brother before he unceremoniously drops them on the floor of the living room as Temari looks at everyone concerned. It has been a while since Gaara has been this annoyed at anyone and as far as she knew, Kankuro and Akira had never meet each other before. She opens her mouth to ask what is going on, until Kankuro and Akira rise and begin yelling at each other. Now she cares a decent amount less as Gaara claps his hands together and sand closes both their mouths.

"What the hell guys?!" Temari chimes in as Gaara looks at her thankfully as Akira and Kankuro glare at each other. Akira turns and makes muffled noised behind Gaara's sand who sighs and drops it.

"This fucking idiot broke my arm last mission-."

"You tried to break Karasu-."

"One at a time!" Temari screeches and smashes her fists on both of their heads as Akira yelps and Kankuro winces.

"Kankuro and I were paired last mission, I read his file and saw he was a puppet user but I thought he was caught-."

"You were mistaken since I had my puppets and we caught the dude-."

"Yeah but you didn't need to break my arm-!" Gaara claps again and sand slides around both their mouths as Temari and Gaara exchange a sighing glance.

They had been hoping the meeting between the two would have been less conflicted. They both loved their brother, and Akira is close to them. Although they didn't mind the bickering, Kankuro rarely got flared up and when he did, it wouldn't end until he was right in some aspect.

"Is there any way to resolve this?" Temari asks dryly as Kankuro shakes his head 'no' but Akira nods a 'yes'.

Curious, Gaara drops his sand and almost wishes he didn't when she plainly says, "Just let me break his arm."

Kankuro hums angrily behind the sand holding his mouth closed and Gaara closes her mouth again as she starts to complain.

"You know if they fight this out, maybe then it'll be settled." Temari answers as Gaara looks at her concerned.

"Do you really think that is the most peaceful solution?" He asks as Akira and Kankuro flip each other off behind him and Temari tries not to chuckle.

"Honestly? Under normal circumstances no, but for them, probably." She says as Gaara sighs and snaps his fingers.

"Just a spar, ninjutsu allowed and one match. Whoever wins, gets to win the argument." He says as Kankuro and Akira shrug.

"Sounds fine to me."

"Prepare to get your arm broken."

* * *

Kankuro jumps back as Akira tries to land a punch and Gaara and Temari look on. Gaara shifts a bit as a kunai flies at Akira who flips backward and lands a bit away. She moves her arm down and Kankuro looks up in just in time and he smirks as Kuroari appears blocking the kunai. She grimaces and watches Kankuro carefully as he moves his fingers again. She moves her own arm back and drops back into her stance as her kunai draw back and float around her.

Temari is amused at the fight, and at Gaara's behavior, his sand is moving around in his gourd and he is tense. And he shifts whenever a kunai or a puppet comes close to either his brother, or friend. Temari nudges him after a moment and smiles at him.

"We are shinobi Gaara, you can't protect everyone that goes out on mission. Every day you have a chance of losing me, Kankuro, Akira, anyone. To be Kazekage, you have to walk alone sometimes but know that the entire village supports you." She says as Akira and Kankuro battle, and blades clang in the distance.

"We will support you to the end, you won't be alone, but please stop worrying about losing us." She says and Gaara considers her words before shaking his head.

"I won't stop, but I will trust you to take care of yourselves, and to come back. Like I always do." He says and Temari smiles at him before throwing an arm around his shoulder.

"That's my kid brother." She smiles and Gaara blinks at the hug before smiling back at Temari.

Akira is sweating more than she cares to admit and Kankuro is annoyed at the turn of events. He knew she is an exceptional kunoichi, knew she is also a medic. But he didn't think she was this strong in her taijutsu and her speed is amazing. She is dodging a majority of Karasu's movements and blocking Kuroari's if she could. Kankuro has a plan though. He always does. Temari and Gaara watch how he corners Akira, they know how he fights and works, as he manages to make Akira believe she is getting closer to him as though he isn't aware. He has already pulled Karasu back enough, and Kuroari is already in place. Akira smiles as she manages to punch him in the stomach and he takes it with a grunt before smirking.

And he watches Akira's face fall once she realizes it is all a trap. Karasu reveals himself in Kankuro's place and she tumbles backward into Kuroari's open stomach. She grunts as her head hits the inside and she hears Kankuro being pronounced the winner. But enclosed in the dark quiet place, she feels her heart accelerate and she gasps for air.

' _No._ ' she thought as she focuses on her breathing. ' _No, not now._ '

It doesn't matter as her body ignores her thoughts and acts on it's own. Nausea rolls in her stomach and she groans trying hard to take deep breaths as the shaking starts. Her heartbeat is erratic, her breathing irregular, and fear is pushing her to run, to fight, to _move_ out of the puppet. But it is also keeping her in place as she presses hands hard against the wooden inside. She is scared, so damn scared as her heart thuds in her chest and a memory snaps into place in her mind.

'A big dark metal box, her being barely tall enough to see the top. Cold, cold, salt water rippled inside and suddenly she was in it. Drenched, drowning, darkness. She couldn't breathe, couldn'tbreathe, _couldn'tbreathe-.'_

Gaara is about to clap Kankuro on the shoulder with Temari by his side when Akira screams within Kuroari. A loud piercing wail that shudders through them as Kankuro tenses and Temari runs for his puppet. He quickly twitches his fingers allowing Akira to be dumped out of Kuroari. Gaara can see her face, twisted in agony, terror and she is shaking where she crumbles in the sand. Temari grabs her and whips out her fan as the two brothers stare as their sister and Akira speed away and back to the village.

"What was that?" Kankuro asks as Gaara stares.

"I don't know." He answers after a moment as he looks at Kankuro who shakes his head at Gaara. He nods his head in the direction of the village, and the two tear away. Although Kankuro didn't like the girl, he didn't want to hurt her (unintentionally that is).

"I know what you're thinking but I didn't do anything besides trap her." He says raising his hands in the air as Gaara nods.

"I know I saw, just, is there anything in Kuroari?"

"No he was empty before this fight." He says and he watches his brother shift in worry. Gaara wore his emotions on his sleeve more and more recently and although Kankuro is thankful for the progress, it bothers him how close he is to this new girl.

"Gaara, can I ask you something?" He asks and Gaara nods.

"What?"

"Are you and that girl seeing each other?" He asks side-eyeing Gaara who looks at him with surprise.

"We see each other every night." He says plainly and Kankuro almost trips in surprise.

"What?!" He yells as Gaara's brow furrows in concern.

"Temari doesn't seem to mind, we're just friends." He explains and Kankuro relaxes at that. If Temari knows it can't be that bad.

"I feel like I keep her up at night when she should be sleeping however," He says and Kankuro tenses again.

"You're not-."

"I have no reason to be interested, Akira and I don't have that type of relationship." He admits after seeing Kankuro's face and finally putting the pieces together and Kankuro relaxes again, although not as much as before. He doesn't ask anymore not wanting to know any details as they reach the village.

* * *

Akira is panting as Temari settles her in her room. She is shaking and can't seem to stop as the memory sears itself into the forefront of her mind. Temari is there an arm around her as Akira tries to breathe through the fear that sits in her gut and the erratic beat of her heart. The room is quiet and Akira lets herself lean against Temari who pats her back and says nothing. She is more frustrated at her thoughts than anything, knowing the medical side she knows how to slow her heart-rate but she can't. She knows this is all irrational, but the panic doesn't subside, and knows she must look insane, _but_ _she can't help it_.

It isn't until Akira is sitting with her knees up to her chest, and she has finally stopped shaking, that Temari brings her a glass of water. They still sit in the quiet as Akira sips her water.

"Thank you." She says eventually, voice hoarse, as Temari smiles tightly and nods.

"Anytime."

Gaara knocks softly on Temari's door and Kankuro watches from around the corner. He watches as Temari comes out arms crossed and as Gaara shifts uncomfortably.

"Yes?" She asks snarkily as she raises a brow.

"Is she ok?" She shifts slightly as she sighs.

"She is going to be."

"What is-?"

"Don't." Temari says shaking her head as she raises a hand to stop Gaara's question. "That is for her to tell you when she is ready. I am not going to be an in between for you two. Respect her space." She says and Gaara frowns but nods once and Kankuro raises a brow.

The fact that both Temari and Gaara respect the girl surprises him and he turns away from the rest of the scene. He loves both his siblings and is glad that they both have a friend in that annoying girl. But she has the potential to hurt them both and that is something he doesn't like. He ultimately decides in that moment that he would be civil but keep her at arms-length. He would be the one to never see her with rose-colored glasses. He would protect his siblings.

* * *

Gaara heads over to Akira's like usual, and he almost doesn't notice anything off about the visit.

Almost.

Akira is quieter, he sees that she is lost in thought more often than in her book, and she hardly smiles and when she does it's more forced than anything. She doesn't even notice when he leaves the room to make a pot of tea. But she does notice when he presses a cup into her hands and holds her hands a moment longer. When she looks into his eyes, she finally gives him a small but genuine smile and Gaara's tongue lets the words fly before he can stop himself.

"I'm here if you need me," He says uncertainly and Akira blinks before she sighs and he is pleased as her smile grows.

"I know thank you. But I have a mission soon so I'm going to try and sleep."

"Ok." He nods and goes back to his work as he listens to Akira leave the room and come back in her usual bedtime attire.

She falls asleep fitfully, turning and twisting under the covers and Gaara tries to ignore the sighs of annoyance behind him. When she finally does find sleep, he is already done with his work and he waits a moment studying the time. He is done earlier than usual and decides to pick up a book in the meantime. Although a part of him tells him he should leave, Akira is asleep, and she wouldn't care if he did, but another part, one that tugs at his heart makes him stay. She has had a bad day, he reasons, if she wakes up before he leaves, at least he'll be here for her.

Gaara pauses from his book as he crosses his legs and looks amused at Akira. She's sleeping curled on the side of the bed with her nose tucked underneath the blanket. She doesn't sleep often but when she does it's always the same, unlike Kankuro who sleeps snoring on his stomach, or Temari who either sleeps straight on her back like a board or sprawled out everywhere. She seems endearing like this, and he can't help but feel warm knowing she trusts him enough to sleep around him. She shifts a bit and snuggles her blanket closer and he smiles because all he can see is a mop of dark hair.

That is until she groans in her sleep and starts talking.

"No stop. Stop it, I don't want- Stop! _Stop it_!" Gaara dashes over shaking her as she gasps awake. He stares at her a moment, eyes wide with concern, but before he can voice it she's gone out of the room. He moves to go after her but stops partway when he hears her retching in the toilet. He wonders about getting Kana before remembering the dark violet-haired woman is on mission. Gaara stares at the bathroom door before nodding to himself making his decision to help in any way he can as he moves towards the door.

Akira glances from the toilet as Gaara awkwardly comes into the room, she feels incredibly self-conscious as he edges forward. His nose wrinkles in disgust before he catches himself and schools his features as he spreads his hands out.

"How do I help?" He asks brow furrowing in concern and Akira spits into the toilet.

"My pack is in my room. Green pill on the right side of the pack. Just one." She instructs and Gaara nods once before spinning on heel. He mentally makes a note to study more medicine in the future for moments like this as Akira rises on shaky legs and rinses out her mouth. By the time he finds the pill her mouth is brushed, and the evidence is gone as she takes the pill and sighs.

"I can't talk about the nightmare right now or I'll-." She cuts off and Gaara see her clench her fists trying and failing to stop the tremor in them as she looks down. He nods once and wraps an arm around her still stiff as he helps her to the bed.

If he is honest with himself, Gaara has no idea what he is doing, he's only seen Kankuro help Temari once or twice. And even then, he wasn't in his… best mental state.

Gaara helps Akira situate herself on the bed, he knows she's not shaking from the cold but he still drapes the blanket around her as she pulls her legs close to her chest and tucks her chin in. She tries and fails to give him an encouraging look and he once again leaves the room and Akira tries to take a calming breath when he does.

' _He is coming back, there is no reason to freak out_.' She tries to reason but her heart ignores her and panic is about to set in when he enters again.

Gaara carefully presses a cup of weak warm tea into her hands and he looks at her a moment.

"I won't press you. I'm here for you." He says and he, too, looks shaken, but despite it all his eyes are genuine and maybe it's the panic, nightmare, today in general, but it all presses in on Akira and she snaps.

Gaara had been expecting a small sweet smile, for the trembling to stop. He was not expecting Akira to burst into tears so badly that his sand has to catch the tea as she flings herself against him. She sobs loudly and terribly into his shoulder and Gaara wraps his arms around her trying to console her to the best of his stiff abilities. He also is trying to ignore how soft and warm she feels against him because right now is certainly not the time, and he pats her back as she cries and is grateful she can't see his surprised and slightly freaked out face. Just as soon as she starts the realization of her break down hits her and she pulls back from Gaara.

"I'm sorry I need to stop. I need to be fine. I-." She stops taking in a shaking breath as she presses her hands to her face. "You have enough on your plate. Temari has enough. You don't need my shit. And I know you want to help but this is my past. I need to deal with it myself." She says looking down, her hands balling into fists at her sides, and even with her tears she looks nothing but determined.

Gaara stares a moment and he can't help but feel surprised.

She is stronger in ways he hasn't realized before.

But also so stubborn about things she doesn't need to fight.

"You don't have to do it alone. Deal with it on your time. But know that Temari and I will help you anyway we can. We can all help each other. We're all friends." He says and Akira wipes her face and nods once. She still doesn't meet his eyes but she does tug him closer for another hug. Gaara squeezes back and Akira lets out a small sigh before pulling away.

"I know you two will help me. And talking about it helps, I used to talk with my brother about it a lot. But you two have gone through and are dealing with more shit than me-."

"You've helped us. We will help you." He says pulling away and this time he catches her eyes and she nods once.

"Well I can't talk about the…dream or memory I got. It's too much still. But every month the seal lets out a memory. It usually happens during the day and I try to mediate to process it, but it happens sometimes when I'm sleeping. At first it seems like a nightmare, but it's a memory, and it's all real, and I can't wake up." She stops herself and focuses on her breath as Gaara looks at her with concern. "My brother usually wakes me when my mom isn't here. This isn't the first one since I've been in Suna, but it is the first one without my mom. I should have warned you, I'm sorry. And with what happened today…Temari helped a lot. I just didn't expect being stuck in Kankuro's puppet would trigger it." She finishes and Gaara nods.

"Just tell me how to help." She smiles at that, a small one, granted, but he takes what he can get.

"Just talk to me. Like we usually do." She says and Gaara sits next to her on the bed. She's once more cocooned in her blankets and he sits with his legs outstretched and ankles crossed. It's silent for a moment before he looks at her.

"I came over the other night. When you were on mission."

"Oh, how was that?"

"Quiet. Quieter than normal."

"Did you get any work done?" She says with a wry smile when he looks at her and nods.

"I did. But…"

"Hmm?" She says after he trails off and his soft sea form eyes meet her dark brown ones for a second before he turns away.

"It wasn't the same without you... I missed you." He admits although it takes a second for him to say it and Akira blinks surprised.

Maybe it's the light, her tired stressed out brain, or something other than what she thinks it is.

Because when he looks at her again, there is a slight red to his cheeks, a glow to his eyes, and even his hair is more aflame than usual. Her heart skips a beat and she recalls when he made it flutter last time. It was during the garden and how bright those beautiful eyes were then too.

Akira smiles at him and the warmth reaches her eyes as Gaara feels his chest tighten. It isn't painful, but his heart skips a moment and thumps a little harder as though trying to make up for the missed beat. He turns away then as Akira looks down her face warm like her companions'. Something is changing between them and Temari is going to kick both of their asses, they just don't know it yet.

"I missed you too." She finally says after a moment before yawning and she swears.

"I still have a mission tomorrow. I don't- I don't think I can sleep though." She admits and Gaara looks at her.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asks and Akira tilts her head and shrugs.

"There's something my brother used to do, but you might be uncomfortable with it." She admits and glances at him as he nods once.

"I can do it."

* * *

Akira had fallen asleep almost too easily and he tilts his head at the thought as he pauses in his book. Her head is resting in his lap and he brushes his fingers through her hair and he realizes how long it has grown. It now stretches just past her shoulders and he can picture her with hair down her back, long and silky. He shakes the thought away knowing that she prefers it short and knows that Temari has tried to push long hair on her much to Akira's chagrin. She had insisted he didn't have to do this, to wake her up when he needed to leave. He shook his head against her thoughts because he knew that she would do this for him. He pauses again in his book as he recalls one night Shukaku had been insistent on clawing his mind and Akira told him to lay down. She turned off the lights and laid next to him, gently holding his hand. He smiles at the memory and brushes his fingers through her hair again. Her lips twitch in her sleep and he smiles at her as Shukaku groans.

" _ **Kami, I hate this romance shit**_." He mutters and Gaara elects to ignore him. There is no romance between them. There never would be.

Akira shifts slightly but snuggles Gaara's leg a little more and he lets out a puff of air. More amused than anything towards her as he returns to his book. It was high past the time he usually left, but he decided to stay late when she had first fallen asleep. He glances at the time and looks back at the sleeping girl and decides that a few more hours can't hurt especially when he sees the bags under her eyes and remembers the tear stains.

She deserves a rest.

* * *

Sand brushes gently against her cheek and Akira wakes up slowly to her head still resting on Gaara's lap. She sits up and rubs at her eyes before realizing that dawn is only a few hours away. He's stayed almost the entire night, and this is the longest she has slept in Kami knows how long. She's still processing even as she yawns and looks at Gaara her tongue fat in her mouth as she struggles to grasp something, anything, to say.

"Do you feel better?" Gaara asks gently as he swings his legs off the bed, although he's still turned toward her as she nods.

"You stayed?" She asks and he nods.

"I wanted to stay until I had to leave, or until you woke up."

"But this is the longest you've stayed, your usually gone before it gets this close to dawn."

"You needed me." Is all he says before he rises from the bed and makes his way to the window.

"I know but even my brother doesn't stay this long." She yawns again and rises meeting Gaara at the window as she smiles. She realizes her sleeve has rolled up during the night and goes to cover her arm when Gaara catches her wrist.

"You don't have to hide these with me remember?" He says gently as he looks at the thin long scars covering her arm as she sighs and gently tugs her arm away.

"I know- I just-, force of habit." She eventually croaks out before clearing her throat. "I'll tell you about the ones I remember one day. When I'm ready ok?" She says and Gaara nods before engulfing her in a hug and she sighs and relaxes in his arms. She's warm and brighter now than she had been last night and when she pulls back she looks at him a second. She nods once as though deciding something in her mind as she takes a deep breath.

"I hope I'm not overstepping but I want to thank you," She says and touches her hand to his cheek. Gaara notes the red on her cheeks as she takes a deep breath, notices her dark eyes as she leans close, and he stops thinking altogether.

Akira pecks Gaara's cheek quickly and softly before stepping back.

"I really _really_ appreciate everything. Thank you Gaara." She says and finishes with a grin but there is undeniable blush on her cheeks and Gaara's own face feels a little warmer than usual as he nods. "I'll see you later." She waves a little and he is still stiff and nods once more and with that he is gone. His face still feels warm when he comes home, and his heart beats a little frantically when he thinks of the peck.

" _ **Looks like someone has a crush**_." Shukaku chuckles as Gaara freezes.

Oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur didn't initially come to mind when writing this until a little later. Originally it was Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance because of the lines "I see you lying next to me/With words I thought I'd never speak." for the scene where Gaara admits to missing her. Admits to himself that she is important to him. And admits to himself (with Shukaku's help) that maybe, just maybe, he has a crush on her. But James Arthur's song paints a better picture for the ending and with her moments between Temari and Gaara too. That I thought of a better scene to use Famous Last Words too so the song will get used EVENTUALLY!
> 
> But this isn't going to rush head first into romance to bear with me here. I actually debated on even introducing it at all. But we'll see where it goes. :)
> 
> Also real quick, updates are going to crazy for a while. I am still updating, I am still here. I'm just also taking a heavier college load. So yeah.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	8. Next To Me

Temari is used to being woken in the middle of the night, is used to rising early with the sun. What she isn't used to is her youngest brother bursting into the dining room with piles of books being carried on his sand and a frantic look in his eyes. Kankuro gives him a once over as he chews his food before shoveling more into his mouth. Gaara doesn't surprise him anymore, even with the books and the serious look in his frantic eyes. Temari looks at Gaara and indulges him with a sigh and a tilt to show she's ready to listen as sips her tea and waits as he takes a breath.

"Shukaku thinks I have a crush on Akira." He says simply and Temari blinks while Kankuro chokes on his food and coughs violently. Temari swallows hard before looking at Gaara and narrowing her eyes.

They had talked about Shukaku's lies over the years to Gaara, had discussed how he had been lying in rational ways. They had helped Gaara through the roughest parts of his transition to becoming who he was now, and had helped him find ways of coping with the beast's mental attacks now. When Shukaku told Gaara something, something that had him questioning, they took it seriously since they didn't want to lose their brother. So hearing this, they were half sure it was a lie, but it startled them nonetheless.

"You have a crush on my best friend?" She asks as Gaara shifts. "Are you sure?"

"No." He says as Kankuro looks at him with concern.

"Ok let's try this. Sit down and close your eyes and think really hard about her." Temari says and points to a chair as Gaara blinks.

"Reall-."

"Get in the chair before I kick your ass." She says and Kankuro flinches even though the tone isn't directed at him for once. Gaara sits as commanded and closes his eyes.

He thinks of the peace that fills his soul during those quiet nights with her. Thinks of her in that dress, a smile on her face, thinks of the melted gold of her eyes in the sun. Of the warmth when her arms wrap around him, and he almost smiles recalling the peck. He opens his eyes after a moment and looks at Temari and Kankuro, who stare, jaws dropped comically at their youngest brother and the blush on his cheeks and the bright light in his eyes.

"Oh my-."

"T-That's imposs-."

"Kank-!"

"Well-!" Temari whaps Kankuro on the back of his head hard enough his cap almost flies off and he rubs his head as he whimpers in pain.

"Look Gaara what your feeling is natural, Akira is nice to you but she's the first girl to be nice to you. Just ignore it and it should go away." She advises as she drinks some more tea and Gaara looks down.

"But the research-."

"What research?" Temari blinks as he summons the books on his sand to fly open and land gently on the table in front of her. She reads some of the pages and sighs.

"This is telling you to act on it. You shouldn't-."

"Why not? Logically speaking-."

"Logically speaking, if you tell Akira how you feel, and she doesn't feel the same way, what is going to happen?" Temari asks and Gaara falters his heart no longer erratic in his chest.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean let's say you tell her, let's say she doesn't feel the same way. We both know that Akira would still welcome you over, even if you make her uncomfortable. Do you really want to do that to her? Just wait until you know for sure if she feels the same way. Or maybe by then it'll go away, crushes tend to fade after about a month." Temari says with a shrug as Gaara sits and ponders the advice.

"Personally Gaara I don't see what you like about her, she's barely a chunin." Kankuro says and Temari gives him a look.

"Rank isn't everything you idiot." Temari hisses and Kankuro flinches realizing that his sister would take offense. She helps train some of the recruits as he sighs.

"Well wouldn't you want them to hook up then? I mean you already treat her like you do us." He says as Gaara nods once agreeing with his brother.

"I do but I'm not going to force anything on her. And besides I'm just happy that someone besides me gets along with her." She says and leans back crossing her arms. "So no telling her shit, and you keep your mouth shut too." She says jerking her chin at Gaara before whipping her head around to glare at Kankuro who sighs and nods.

Gaara looks down and feels slightly downtrodden giving the fact that he thought this would be given a more positive reaction. But Temari has a point, Akira is his best friend, his second closest, and after opening her home, herself, and her friendship to him, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Besides what if Temari is right and this does fade, he doesn't want to mess up this bond he has with her. He takes a breath and nods once to Temari.

"I won't say anything." He agrees and Temari smiles at him.

"Good and Akira is coming over in a few-."

"Hello!" Akira calls from the entryway as Temari sighs.

"In here!" She calls before looking at both her brothers a moment and mouthing 'mouths shut!'

"How is everyone?" Akira asks leaning in the doorway and Gaara looks at her. He has seen her after Temari's training session, has seen her in the standard shinobi outfit, and has seen her in her pajamas.

But Akira is in a cream colored long sleeved shirt with a dark colored pants. Her headband is tied around her neck and her hair curls around her shoulders as she smiles at siblings. Gaara blinks hard before his sand snaps the books closed and he nods a greeting to Akira as he quickly leaves the room. Akira blinks and looks at Temari who waves away the question before Akira can ask. She shrugs and sits were Gaara once sat as she nods to Kankuro.

"Wow you actually don't look like another generic grunt." He says dryly as Akira rolls her eyes.

"It's cheaper than anything else. And at least I don't look like you." She says as Kankuro snorts.

"You wished you looked like me."

"I don't see why anyone would want to look like shit-."

"Are you ready for the festival?" Temari asks interrupting the spat as Kankuro glares and goes to put away his dishes. Akira nods after glaring back at Kankuro.

"I guess. At least I don't have to buy an outfit and thank you again for the dress." She says and Temari smiles at her.

"Anytime. You are dancing with me as payment though." She grins and Akira laughs.

"Ok fair enough. It's been a while since I've danced."

"Well it's been a while for Gaara too maybe you could help him out."

"Does he know how to?" Akira asks head slightly tilted. Gaara doesn't seem like the sort to know how to dance and Temari pauses as a plan forms in her head.

Temari loves the idea of Gaara being interested in Akira. Loves the idea of the two of them together but she has no idea how Akira feels. She also isn't one to meddle in such things thus to ask would be out of character for her. Yet if the two danced together, if she pushed them together a little maybe then….

Temari keeps the grin off her face as she raises a shoulder, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't."

"Hey Gaara, can you dance?" Akira asks back turned to Temari as she twists in her chair and hugs the back of it. She has sensed him coming back toward them as she looks at him expectantly. Gaara stares at his friend and looks at Temari a moment who is shaking her head and mouthing 'say no!' to him.

"No?" He says though it sounds like a question and he almost winces at his tone.

"So, you want dance lessons?" Akira asks a small smile on her face as Temari nods and Gaara freezes as the realization hits him of what Temari is doing.

"He would love them."

* * *

"So, I guess for a proper festival the slow dance should be fine for you. It's a little awkward with anyone you dance with, but I can show you the basic moves so even if they don't know how to dance they can follow you." She says as she paces the small cleared out room. Gaara stands with his back to door as Akira finishes messing with the speaker as music blares out for a moment. She pauses it and smiles at him

"Well come on. Sooner we start sooner we stop." She says holding a hand out to Gaara and for a moment he stops to look at her, hand stretched out, hair shining from the sun behind her and that smile of warmth on her face. He reaches and takes her hand a moment later.

He pretends not to know how to dance, not to know the steps despite being well trained in this art. His father had anticipated sending him off to different lands as a secret weapon. He had gotten his weapon but....

Gaara focuses on lying to Akira, on spinning her as she instructs. He likes having her close, likes seeing into her eyes when the light catches them.

Shukaku stirs, " _ **That girl is pretty but I've seen better, bigger and with more blood in them**_." He swears he can feel the demon grin in in subconscious and he tilts Akira on the beat like he is supposed to.

Shit.

She hasn't instructed him to do it and now she's surprised as he blushes.

"See you're catching on already." She says as he lifts her up to a stand and the music ends.

"Do you want to try leading this time?" She asks, and he nods before he can think about it.

They dance once more Gaara leading and he mumbles counts aloud to help his lies. Akira follows twirling in his arms and gives encouraging smiles when he looks at her. Gaara feels a flutter in his chest when he dips her to the end this time and he tries to find a reason not to feel like this for her. But when he slowly brings her to a rise and their eyes met, he comes up with nothing. Her eyes have turned a honey brown in the light, her pink lips don't hold a smile but still have his attention. He wants to tilt his head forward, wants to try and quench his desire to make this crush a romantic relationship from his research. Instead he remains frozen his fear of losing her, of fucking this up, overpowering his want so when Akira compliments him and turns away he tries not to feel so disappointed.

And once more he fails.

That is until he sees the tips of her ears turn pink and she clear her throat. He's known her long enough now to see when she's embarrassed and he wonders if maybe she feels the same for him.

Shukaku's howling laughter doesn't help his confidence in that thought. He wants to reach out and touch her but stops. It isn't his place, and this, this certainly isn't them. He reminds himself to glare extra hard at Temari later and instead waits for Akira to clear her throat once more.

"Well it feels like you've got the basic hang of things. Temari will be impressed with how quickly you caught on." She says with a smile and eases back in her stance hands on her hips. He likes her best like that he realizes, when she's relaxed.

"I had a good instructor." She waves the compliment away.

"Oh please, I'm awkward with anyone I dance with. The only time I think I dance well is when I'm alone." She says.

"Alone?"

"Like when no one is watching. I get self-conscious, though I do like dancing." She explains as she waves to Gaara to follow her out of the studio, but he hesitates. He's going to do something stupid.

"You can come here." He says before he can truly catch himself.

"What?"

"You can come here... to dance. When you want." He says offering the space. His space, he realizes, and she smiles.

"Thank you. I might take you up on that," She says and there's a brightness in her eyes when she says it. And Gaara feels proud having been the one to put that light there.

" _ **It was already there you twit**_." Shukaku says pretending to be annoyed at the romance as his plans slowly falls into place.

"Well I'll go let Temari know we are all set for the festival, are you still coming over tonight?" Akira asks as she edges towards the door and Gaara nods. Akira beams at him before waving as she leaves the room.

Akira presses her back against the door and tries to calm her erratic heartbeat down. She hasn't stopped thinking about waking up to those pretty seafoam eyes, the peck she gave him, and now how it felt surprising natural to twirl in his arms. For once she hadn't felt awkward and when he dipped her-.

' _Stop it_ ,' Akira thinks ' _Stop thinking about him that way. You go on missions too often, he's trying to become Kazekage and I'm not even a full registered citizen yet._ '

Akira sighs as she peels away from the door and walks toward Temari's room. Gaara is her friend and that is more than enough. More than enough to be by his side and help him when he needs it. This isn't going to happen no matter how many times those beautiful mint eyes grip her and make her heart falter.

* * *

Kankuro pulls on the arm of his puppet in his workshop and frowns at the give. The ratio is off again, and he sighs as he picks up his screwdriver and tweaks the joint. He likes his workshop, likes the organized mess because he knows where everything is. Yes, maybe the quarter inch bolt that he distinctly remembers being behind his desk on the left side shouldn't be there, but it is an example. It makes sense to him, even if it's chaos to the world and he likes it that way. That and no one comes in here unless they absolutely need him. Temari is creeped out by the many dead eyes though she will never admit it. And Kankuro is pretty sure Gaara doesn't care.

That is until there is a knock on the door and Kankuro uses his chakra strings to open it and sees his younger brother.

"How do you get over a crush?" He asks and Kankuro turns his mouth open in shock and it's almost comical.

"Wha-?"

"Akira and I were dancing-."

"Wha-?!"

"And I wanted to kiss her and I-."

"WHA-!?"

"Kankuro-!"

"Gaara I'm just surprised, you barely know her." He says standing and stepping towards his brother as he looks at him.

"She is the same age as me, she likes the color blue, she wants to be an academy teacher, and her favorite food is-."

"Gaara I know you know her, and you spend a lot of time with her but-."

"Kankuro... I don't want to feel this way." Gaara says his eyes wide and Kankuro realizes there is fear in them. "I don't want to lose my friend. I don't want to feel that pain again." He says holding a hand over his heart and Kankuro's eyes soften.

"You're going to have that pain regardless, because even if you don't tell her, she might feel what you're for someone else and-." He stops because Gaara's face twists with pain and the realization of what Kankuro is saying hits him.

Just as the realization that this might be more than a crush hits Kankuro.

"Look you're turning 15 soon, Baki is talking with the council about you being Kazekage at festival and there you're going to prove that you're more than who you were. You're going to show that you should no longer be feared by having fun with the other villagers. You have a lot on your plate right now and I know Akira is important to you. So just ease up on this situation and focus on yourself for now." He offers and Gaara thinks it over before sighing.

"I think you are right but-."

"But you still want to avoid the pain?" Kankuro asks and Gaara looks at him surprised as he smiles.

"You've become an open book man. Tell her then when the time is right because I don't know her that well but I think Temari is wrong. If anything that girl will help you find someone else to have a crush on." He gives a wink to Gaara who thinks about it and nods once.

He'll tell her, he decides, and as Kankuro claps him on the shoulder with a grin, Gaara does something he didn't expect.

Gaara wraps his arms around Kankuro quickly giving his brother a hug and he waves as he leaves.

"Thank you, brother." He says and Kankuro blinks.

* * *

"I don't know what to do Temari!" Akira groans where she has flopped on Temari's bed. Her voice is partially muffled by the bedding but Temari doesn't bother turning around.

"Stop being an idiot for one thing." She calls over her shoulder as she shifts papers around on her desk.

Her office and room were one in the same so when she was falling asleep she could just pass out in the same room. Of course, this was her personal office and her business office was in another room. The change had been made after Baki got sick of her not caring if one of the elders had to sit in a chair with a bra thrown over it.

Akira picks her head up from the bed and looks at her friend.

"He's your brother I thought-."

"I get enough shit from the recruits about how cute Gaara is. I didn't think I would get it from you." Akira sits up at that annoyed.

"I really don't want to think that way. I mean, yeah, his eyes are pretty, but really-."

"I just said I didn't want-."

"So then help me not-."

"Go make out with someone then maybe it will help-."

"Temari!"

"Well-." Akira groans and flops back onto the bed.

"I just want us to stay friends." She says quietly and Temari smiles.

"Then don't do anything. Maybe it'll fade and if it doesn't, then tell him." She twists in her chair to face Akira who moves her head enough to send a glare her way.

"I thought you didn't-."

"I don't do schoolgirl crushes but if you do love him then I guess I can help." She says with a wink as Akira rolls her eyes. "Did you get him a birthday present yet?" Temari asks as Akira freezes a moment before leaping from her bed and sprinting out of the room.

A moment later she pokes her head back in and says "Bye!" before taking off again as Temari laughs.

* * *

Akira jumps from the knock on her window and pulls the curtain back as Gaara looks in confused as she raises a finger before letting it fall back into place. He waits, floating on his sand and pulls on his new clothes a little. Temari had gifted them to him after Akira had left stating he was growing too fast for her liking and he needed to stop. He glances down again at his new coat and armored vest and brushes his fingers through his recently mussed hair. Temari had also noticed how long it was getting and ran a comb through it berating him for not noticing his appearance. He was going to be Kazekage and he needed to start messing with his own hair. She had tried to pass them off as normal gifts but Gaara knew from the look in her eye that the gestures had a deeper meaning due to his birthday and had obliged her in also letting her pinch his cheek out of affection. Even if it irritated him.

He stops thinking about it when Akira opens the window still in her outfit from earlier. And her breath catches.

Gaara is standing outside her window, his dark red coat is billowing from the wind and his hair is brushed down more than it usually is, and it looks longer. Those mint eyes land on hers and she blinks before moving out of the way.

"Hey." She says and her mouth feels all too dry as she clears her throat. Gaara carefully enters the house and swings his gourd off even as the sand still enters it. He turns to Akira and his head tilts a little as she shifts, nervous. Akira isn't nearly ready yet, the presents are hidden under a thin sheet on the table and the last one is behind her pillow on her bed. She takes a breath before looking Gaara in the eye. Now or never.

"Ok look Temari told me you don't celebrate your birthday. I don't need to know why if your uncomfortable with telling me. But…" She pauses and looks away toward the sheet and Gaara's eyes narrow. Temari not telling the reason is surprising since it also affects her and he spies the sheet as Akira turns back to him. "But I wanted to get you something for it and I really hope you like them." She finishes and he's taken aback a bit by the sheer nervousness about her. Usually she is confident, straight to the point, but her cheeks are flush as she steps towards the desk.

Akira can't exactly read his expression now as he schools it from being taken aback and she's extremely nervous about it, but she doesn't stop as she turns away from him. "If your still uncomfortable though you don't have to think of this as a birthday present by the way. It can just be a nice gift. I hope you like it." She says as she moves a sheet off the desk. A small potted cactus sits on it and Gaara eyes it along with the two scrolls sitting next to it. Akira smiles as she gestures to the presents.

"This scroll has some new gardening tools, and this one lists the cactus's properties and some uses for its skin and needles. I remembered a little of what you said about your garden and how the plants helped each other so I tried to find something that fit. If I'm wrong, it can be a nice desk plant when your Kazekage." Akira stops and eyes Gaara again but he's still expressionless, still stoic as she gulps. "I understood majority of what you said that night, and you just seemed so happy." She mutters and moves to the bed and pulls out the next present carefully hiding it behind herself until she is in front of Gaara.

"And I got this with Temari a little while ago. It was supposed to be funny and Kankuro might steal it if you let him." She says as she pulls out a giant floppy sunhat. Gaara gives her a brow raise and she grins at him. "It's for when you're working in your garden." He is silent as she hands it to him and she waits hands behind her back as she rocks from the balls of her feet to her heels.

"And if you don't like any of these gifts I'll let you ask me anything. I don't know how many questions you can ask but it'll be more than five for sure." She says and her throat feels dry like her mouth now as she clears it. He doesn't say anything as he looks at the hat and back at her and she can't take it anymore.

She looks away and starts rambling.

"Ok I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's the first time I get to spend your birthday with you, and I may not know why you don't like it, but I like it. I like being your friend, I like having you in my life. You're my best friend, and today is special to me because you were born. You were born, and you exist, and that is probably the greatest thing ever, and I'm-glad-you-exist." She stops taking a breath and glances at his face.

Gaara eyes the hat, the scrolls and plant, and looks at her. Akira can feel how warm her cheeks are, knows how nervous she looks and wants him to say anything, something. She is about to start rambling again-.

Gaara is silent, and he stays silent as he drops the hat on the bed and pulls Akira into a tight hard hug. Akira gives a little muffled 'oof' from the sudden movement and manages to get her arms around him enough to return it. He presses his face into her shoulder and she realizes just how much taller he is than her. She fits just under his chin and for him to press his face into her shoulder he has to curl against her. Akira feels herself flush even more as he sighs against her neck and breathes her in.

He is touched by the presents, the thoughtfulness of them. The cactus isn't correct for the environment but would work if it was bigger. The tools are even better than the one he order himself. The hat is amazing, and he loves it more than he cares to admit, and his favorite part is her words. The truth she bestowed upon him that she is truly happy he is alive. She smells like cinnamon, tea, and something earthy and he makes a decision as he pulls away. He stands straight and looks down at her, with her wide dark eyes and beautiful crimson cheeks.

"I want to tell you the reason." He says softly, and she blinks taken aback and nods. He guides them to the bed and holds her hand softly in his. He looks at his feet and takes a breath as she gives him a reassuring gentle squeeze.

"My mother died giving birth to me, and she hated me for it. Hated me for taking her life. I don't like to celebrate my birthday because of that." He starts and before he knows it he's squeezing her hand tighter and tells her about the assassinations attempts. How he hates water now from one trying to drown him. How he became so damaged and he stops short from telling her about Yashamaru. That's a wound that still hurts, and if he's honest it hurts more than the truth of his mother. Because for a long time he thought at least someone cared. Someone had loved him; but it was all a lie. Gaara takes a breath and goes to speak again but Akira is shaking, and she moves off the bed to stand in front of him.

Tears are streaming down her face, her body is shaking and she looks at him with sad eyes.

She's a babbling crying mess, and although he's sure she has said other things, "I wish I was your friend sooner." Is all he can make out as she starts sobbing and he pulls her close.

"I am so so sorry-. I wish I-." She stops as he hugs her and this time she pulls Gaara close and she cries for him. She sobs and cries and hurts for him and Gaara is once again overwhelmed from the sheer emotion that comes from this girl. From the empathy she feels for him, and just how much his past troubles her. She cries for the both of them, and she says something that shakes him.

"I wish I could have protected you." She mutters after a moment when she is calmer and Gaara looks at her.

He is a demon in human skin. She believes he is human. He has done terrible things and has killed, but they are shinobi and she has also killed. She has been through her own trauma, and now cries for his own. She doesn't understand fully what it was like, but she admits it and doesn't pretend to fully know it. She has given more than he has ever asked for. She never asks much of him. She gives, and gives, and gives, and it all hits him as she dries her own tears and gives him a small smile.

"I really wish I was friends with you and Temari and even Kankuro back then. I wish I could've helped."

"There wasn't much you could-."

"I could beat the shit out your dad!" She says suddenly and Gaara blinks at her as he pulls back.

"You would fight the Kazekage? My father?" He is surprised more than he cares to admit, and a warmth is filling his chest from her tears to her anger.

"Hell yeah! You both are my best friends." She hisses again and as she moves to sit next to him again he is looking at her in a way she hasn't seen before.

His eyes are bright and wide, but he's not surprised. His mouth is quirked a little at the corners but it's not quite a smile and he's looking at her like he's never seen her before. She brushes her hair behind her ear as she sits and looks away from him. Embarrassment washes over her a bit because he hasn't stopped and he's practically staring at this point. He moves to grab her hand again and when she looks at him, his face is soft and he looks at her with a soft smile.

"This is incredibly nice." He says as he waves at the presents before turning back to her. "Everything you've ever done for me has been incredibly nice." Akira shakes her head.

"I haven't done much…" She trails off because he squeezes her hand once gently in disagreement.

"You offered your space to give me comfort, your friendship. You try so hard to understand and at the same time you admit to not being able to fully do it. You've become my close friend. My best." He stops and studies her a moment. "The best thing you have ever given me has been this bond. But now I believe your words tonight have been the nicest."

"Really?" Akira asks surprised as Gaara looks down as though pondering and nods once.

"Yes. Temari and Kankuro are glad I exist, but to have you, and maybe one day the village. That is more than I could ever ask for." He says and Akira's heart skips a beat at his smile.

"The village will feel that way Gaara, you already work with the troops, you already do so much." She says softly and Gaara tilts his head a moment.

"I still get my questions correct?" He asks and Akira blinks a moment from the sudden change before nodding.

"Would you dance with me at the festival?" He asks as Akira makes a small surprised noise at the question before smiling.

"Yeah sure I'll dance with you. Just do me a favor and ask someone other than me though." She grins and Gaara nods once.

"And will you accompany me somewhere in a bit?" He asks, and Akira tilts her head this time.

"Where are we going this late at night?"

"Not now, just before dawn." He says and Akira shrugs.

"I suppose. I'm just preparing for a mission soon but that's later tomorrow." She mutters.

"Why do you go on missions so often?"

"I help my mom pay for bills, and I needed to save up for your presents." She smiles and pulls back her hand. Gaara sits a moment thinking and decides that maybe he would ask about her scars another night. He wants to ask her more things, doesn't want to stop talking, but he isn't one for idle chatter and so he looks at her and she shrugs.

He isn't sure what happened next, he is almost confident it was Akira's suggestion but somehow, they ended up laying on her bed, her head on his thigh and his head on his pillow talking. He tells her about his childhood the good and bad times. She tells him about some of her scars and he is surprised by how many mar just her left leg. (A thick ropy pearl colored one on the calf, a thin white one above her ankle and a long smooth pink and wide one ran parallel to her shin bone.) When she looks at him with her dark hair spilled against his trousers and her eyes bright he trails fingers gently against her cheek and she smiles at him. Her eyes a little puffy from crying but it doesn't matter to him.

Gaara is in love with her, he doesn't want this moment to end, and for once his birthday isn't entirely terrible. This dark-haired girl with dark eyes and pink lips and so many scars has welcomed him into her life, has treated him with respect and understanding, and has cried for him. She laughed with him and now as dawn draws near he sit up and she moves along with him. Gently he takes her hand and without another word sand whirls around them and they are gone.

He is going to tell her.

He wants to tell her as they walk the Suna Wall as the rays of the sun start to streak in the sky. He needs to tell her, he realizes as they walk, because he loves her and that's all that really matters. Gaara pulls Akira a little closer to him as the two walk and she looks around surprised at the location. She knows where they are, but to get home from here is a different matter. She spies the Kazekage building as Gaara pulls them to a stop and sits, pulling her down gently next to him. He sits with a leg drawn up and props his elbow on his knee, he drops her hand to allow her to situate herself more comfortably.

Akira settles besides him as she looks around wondering what the point was. The view is nice, and the air isn't as dry but she could see this view anywhere else on the wall. The silence between them isn't awkward as she waits patiently to understand. Gaara wouldn't bring her here for nothing and-.

She stops thinking as the sun rises enough that the stronger beams finally truly illuminate the village and she gasps.

The village is filled with a beautiful warm light, brown sand turns golden and warm looking from the distance and it even sparkles in some places. As though pieces of metal or jewels were sown into the structures and the Kazekage building looks tall and proud in the morning light. It's beautiful and breath taking and the plain colored building looks different, regal, and amazing.

Gaara has seen this view once before after performing a border check and he had only found it by chance. He had found this place and thought of Akira, of her little meadow back home she had once told him about. And when she looks at him, her hair looking chocolate in the morning light and her eyes once more turning golden the words are on the tip of his tongue. He's ready.

Until he catches the emotion in her eyes. Sees the joy, the disbelief, and something else that makes him falter because he recognizes the look as one he has given her. Hope flares in his chest as he waits for her to say what he was going to. To admit her own mutual feelings first.

But she doesn't.

"This is amazing. Thank you Gaara." She says a little breathlessly as she presses her shoulder against his and looks around once more before catching his eye again.

She means it so sincerely when she looks at him with that soft sweet expression and says, "You are the most incredible friend I could have ever ask for. Thank you for being in my life." She says and reaches to squeeze his hand.

Gaara smiles and squeezes back once as his heart leaps in his throat. What is he doing? Akira's feelings matter as much as his do and-.

He stops and looks at her again and thinks about Temari's and Kankuro's words. He like her yes, but is this really love? How is he so sure? He's second guessing himself and decides to wait. He needs to wait and understand what he wants, what Akira wants and after the festival he will try again, it is next month, and it will be fine.

Akira looks at him and grins and Gaara smiles back.

He is not sad, in fact he is happy as he leans against Akira a little. He hasn't fucked this up.

And Kami, he hopes he never does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Next To Me by Imagine Dragons is such a sweet song, and I feel like it fits Akira and Gaara so well. Shes helping him despite being broken herself, and he's trusting her to help him. He's realizing he hadn't done much for her and it's part of that, that he really wants to be more for her. He's thankful for her as she is him, and I love the song a lot.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	9. Stolen Dance

Nothing changes in the month leading up to the festival, nothing significant anyway, as Gaara leans against the wall by the door that leads to Akira's new dance room. Music gently rolls out from behind the door, and he listens as he wait by the door, fingers pressed against one of his eyes. He knows he shouldn't be peaking but he's interested and he reasons that he would only make Akira nervous if she knew. He watches with his Third Eye Jutsu as she twirls around the room, steps in time with the music and she's elegant. He's a bit awestruck as she moves and bends, and his heart leaps when she does. She is rarely here in his home aside from spending time with his sister after training, but now has started spending time dancing when Temari is busy.

Gaara lowers his hand, letting the sand fall and drift back to him quickly, as the music ends and Akira performs her final move. He turns and walks away from the room, his break finished.

Yes nothing has changed aside from her dancing more. They are still friends, and Gaara's feelings have not faded. Not in the slightness.

Temari knows this and so does Kankuro and they watch as he struggles with it. These feelings are weird and different. Part of him wants to kiss her, to hold her hand, and know his feelings are returned, and he questions his intentions, the other part of him wants things to stay the same. And it's because of the indecision that he waits. He is confident in his wants, his goals, and dreams, and this isn't something he can take lightly.

So nothing has changed, nothing has faded, but unbeknownst to them, as the festival draws closer, so do answers.

* * *

"I'VE MISSED YOU LITTLE SISTER!" Akira lets out a 'oof' as Shuichi lifts her high in the air, crushing her in a hug. He and Izumi were on an anniversary trip with an accompanying jonin to guarantee their safe return. He had asked their mother to keep it a secret and she had only told Akira that morning. Akira wraps her arms as much as she can around Shuichi giggling and grinning like she's five again. Izumi stands back a with a smile on her face as the siblings hug before Shuichi unceremoniously drops her without warning as Akira lands roughly and smacks his arm.

"You always drop me!" Akira says, trying to whine but laughing too much as Shuichi snorts.

"You're the one who always takes a hug!" he says back shoving her head a little affectionately. Akira darts away a little missing the most of it as she eyes her brother. His hair is cut short like Akira's was not too long ago, and it is nearly identical to their mother's hair, the difference being while their mother has dark violet hair, Shuichi's is a soft lavender. He had a smooth green Konoha vest on and his headband proudly on his brow.

"If you're on vacation why are you all," she flicks his vest as Shuichi gives her a look. "Geared up?"

"He wanted to come see you and your mother right away so he didn't bother changing." Izumi says softly as Akira hums and Shuichi scoffs.

"If I had known I was gonna get ridiculed by a Suna-nin, I would have." he teases as Akira rolls her eyes and snorts at him.

"Well we Suna-nin can kick your ass any day." Akira grins at him as Shuichi laughs and starts when another voice rolls in.

"If we're comparing Suna to Konoha, Suna always does win." Akira turns to look at Temari who smirks from where she stands as Akira grins at her.

"Hey Temari! This is my brother Shuichi and his wife Izumi." She says gesturing to the pair. Shuichi grins and offers Temari a handshake while Izumi smiles at her. Temari doesn't smile back but does give a nod to Izumi.

Temari's eyes dart between the siblings slightly surprised at the similarities between the two. They had the same shaped eyes, and ears but Akira's lips were a little thinner, and while although Akira's eyes were a dark brown, Shuichi's eyes were a striking dark violet while his hair was a softer lavender, taking after their mother slightly. His nose is straighter and edged however which differed from Kana's and Akira's more rounded ones, and he is certainly taller than his mother and sister.

Shuichi looks her up and down, scanning for weapons without realizing, "I've heard about you and your brother from Akira's letters. It's nice to officially meet you."

"I can't say I'm surprised to hear that, but she speaks well of you too." She says and smirks when Akira clears her throat.

"Oh looks like someone is embarrassed." Her brother teases as Akira reddens.

"I am not. Why would I be?" she declares though her cheeks are still stained, and Shuichi simply smiles.

"Well because all you do is talk nonstop about how nice your new friends are and-."

"Anyway, why don't we all have some tea?" Izumi interrupts, her voice gentle as Akira grins at her grateful and Temari side eyes Akira.

"Sure. But I would be very interested to hear all the good things she's said." Temari says and Akira flushes.

"It's nothing I wouldn't say in person!" she admonishes and Temari and Shuichi laugh. As the four head inside Temari decides as she watches Shuichi sling an arm and press a kiss to his wife's cheek she likes this man. A part of her always took Akira's words about him with a grain of salt considering her own brothers, but he seemed to be a good role model.

"So what brings you over Temari?" Izumi asks gently as she pours some tea for the four of them. Temari smiles gently as she takes the cup from her.

"Just coming over before Akira's mission to make sure we're set for the festival tonight." She says as Shuichi looks at his sister surprised.

"You have a mission today? Akira, it's festival day!" he whines as Akira rolls her eyes.

"You don't even know what the festival is for!" she counters smiling as Shuichi laughs, although she is right.

"It's just a celebration for the village. Nothing too important. But you better come straight to my room after your mission." Temari glares, not flustered from the shouting as Akira winces and Shuichi looks at Temari.

"Just make sure her scars are covered. No one really minds them but her-." Akira elbows him hard and he grunts in pain as Izumi sips her tea and Temari smiles.

"I've already made some alterations don't worry." She says with a wink as Akira looks at her. She's trying hard not to smile but her eyes are grateful and so are Shuichi's.

"Well I better get going." Akira says glancing at a clock as Temari nods and stands.

"Same, knowing my brothers they probably haven't even looked at their clothes." She makes a face and Izumi giggles.

"Well it was a pleasure meeting you." She says softly and Shuichi nods smiling.

"We'll see you guys later. But have you seen mom?" he asks as Akira shrugs and tilts her head a little.

"I think she grabbed Kenji and went shopping. Thank Kami." She mutters and Temari tilts her head a questioning smirk on her face.

"Who is Kenji?" she asks smiling and Akira flushes as Shuichi's grins.

"He's-."

"No one let's go-."

"You'll see him tonight!" Shuichi promises as the two flee the house and Akira grimaces.

"Well hopefully we don't but see you Temari!"

"Good luck!" she waves before turning toward her home. Temari frowns to herself as she sets off hoping that whoever this Kenji is, he doesn't put a damper on her plans.

* * *

Akira is covered in sand, dirt, mud, and some blood. Her hair is plastered to her face and her clothes are on the verge of being ruined. She sighs when she knocks on the door and Kankuro answers and he smiles.

"Temari is going to flip shit." He mutters stepping to the side as he cocks his hip and leans against the door as Akira smiles wryly.

"I know." She mutters bacl stepping inside just as Temari rounds the corner and her mouth drops open.

"Oh Kami- Akira!" she almost yells and Akira winces.

"I know it's bad but-." She starts but Temari shakes her head and grabs her wrist pulling her behind her.

"Come on we don't have much time!" she says angrily and Kankuro laughs behind them.

When all is said and done the sun has dipped below the horizon and Temari has worked, what Akira considers, a miracle. Akira's once knee-length forest green dress, now has longer sleeves with cuts in them to expose enough skin but cover her scars. They end in a point at her middle finger and the dress is shorter to allow tight black trousers underneath. Her black sandals complete the look and her dark brown hair is curled and clean. Akira looks in the mirror at herself as Temari stands back and smiles.

"I knew you would look amazing but I have to say I think I've outdone myself." Temari says smiling with her eyes closed, proud of herself and hands on her hips. Her own hair is up on either said of her head, gather in just two bundles now, and a formal purple dress is her outfit. She looks young and gorgeous next to Akira who shifts a little and Temari places a hand on her shoulder.

"Look I know you might be uncomfortable but we are two badass women who just want to have a good night. And I say we will have that good night!" Temari says with a wink as Akira blinks before laughing and nodding.

"Ok!" she exclaims and Temari squeezes her shoulder once before dropping her hand.

"Although I do have a question, it's been a while, how do you feel about Gaara?" she asks arms crossed as Akira sighs.

"I don't know he's like my best friend besides you. You're like the older sister I never had, and I love you for that, but I don't think of him as a brother. I don't know what he is honestly, but he is cute." She mumbles the last part more to herself and blushes when Temari raises a brow.

"You like him. Tell him. If he doesn't feel the same way, he will be touched and honestly he'll help you move on if anything." She smiles at Akira who shifts.

"I know but I still am not sure if it is just a crush or more I know it's been a while and it hasn't falter but…" Temari smiles and walks around Akira before opening the door to her room.

"You do what you feel is right, but you can't be afraid to take a chance. Now let's go dance our asses off!" she shouts raising a fist in the air for Akira to fist bump and Akira grins as she accepts the fist bump. Temari closes the door behind them and grins to herself at the thought of her plan falling into place.

* * *

The music is loud, fast and everything Akira wants it to be as she dances with Temari in the middle of the square. The village people who are usually quiet and conservative are now loud and wild as Temari and Akira move in time with each other and the song. Akira doesn't feel as awkward as she would have, and she knows it's probably due to the nature of the song. Temari laughs next to her and they join hands as they spin in circles and match each other's actions and moves.

Akira moves out of the crowd with Temari once the song ends and quickly they find a table. Temari and Akira collapse in the chairs laughing and exhausted even though they haven't danced long, the intensity is taxing. Shuichi is laughing with Izumi when he spots his sister and tilts his head in her direction. Izumi nods once and the pair head up to the girls. Temari waves as Akira smiles at her brother.

"Hey Shuichi, hey Izumi! Are you guys liking the festival?" she asks and Shuichi nods.

"Everything is amazing!" Izumi shouts over the music and Temari grins.

"Good to hear! I helped with a lot of preparations. Oh look there's Kankuro, Gaara should be around here soon." Temari says pointing to her dark-haired brother as Akira tilts her head to see.

"What does Gaara looks like?" Shuichi shouts as Akira shrugs.

"Red hair mint eyes-."

"They're green!" Temari shouts backward over her shoulder and blinks a minute before laughing.

"Mint is a plant Akira! I know it's a color but- come on let's finish this dance." She says dragging Akira up and toward the dance floor and Shuichi laughs as Akira makes a face at him. Izumi giggles to his side and he take a moment to press another kiss to his wife's temple.

"Hello." A voice behind says and he turns to find a tall young man with red hair and green eyes with dark circle around his eyes. Shuichi feels his wife jump beside him and he's mouth runs dry but he manages a grin to spread on his face.

How his sister befriended the Desert Demon is beyond him but they are friends and so he manages to keep a grip on his flight-or-fight response. He's not the type to run, and he doesn't want to punch his sister's friend.

"Hey you must be Gaara, I'm Shuichi, Akira's brother. This is my wife Izumi." He says gesturing to Izumi who has had the same pleasant smile on her face. Gaara's eyes light up and he nods in greeting.

"Nice to meet you."

"So my sister told me you meet on mission, and I'm glad you're friends but I should warn you." Gaara looks at Shuichi surprised and concerned as he looks down and sighs. "Kenji is an old friend of mine, and he's had his eye on my sister for a while. And I know you two are just friends but Akira is really fond of you, and Kenji gets jealous really easily. Just keep an eye on her for me and let me know if Kenji steps out of line. Akira can take care of herself but Kenji is my responsibility." Shuichi finishes and Gaara tilts his head, partly surprised at the turn of events. He half expected Shuichi to threaten him about his sister.

"So you're friend is interested in Akira, and Akira doesn't know?"

"Oh she knows, she just wants no part of it. She doesn't like him like that, and he embarrasses her more than she cares to admit. Normally I just tease her but she's turning fifteen soon and he wants to be serious about dating her. I don't like it and she doesn't like it, but he requested a chance to just ask her, so just let me know if he acts up. She says no and she probably will, and that's it." He says nodding and places a hand on Gaara's shoulder.

"I appreciate you being there for her when I can't. And I, for one, hope that you and Akira get together-."

"Shuichi!" Izumi says, and he winces when she swats his arm and he laughs and blushes.

"Sorry I got carried away, couldn't resist. I'm just teasing. I honestly have no idea what her preferences are." He mutters the last part more to himself but Gaara tries not to blush at the image that comes to mind. "Anyway what I'm saying is that I trust you. And-ah nevermind, she's over there, if you're looking for her. I think your sister did an awesome job on her." He says pointing through the crowd and Gaara's eyes widen as his jaw slackens a little bit. Izumi giggles quietly next to her husband who winks at her.

Gaara's eyes land on Akira who is still dancing with Temari just as the light hits her, illuminating her for a moment. Her dark chocolate hair is curled and down and lovely against her skin, and her lips have taken on a sinful shade of pink that reminds him of when they ate pomegranates. Her eyes are lined in kohl and her outfit is lovely on her. Gaara is suddenly aware why Temari had wanted it to be a surprise. His outfit is a light gray almost silver with black trim and black seams for contrast. Kankuro's own outfit had been completely black and allowed him to wear his cap without being too much out of place. Gaara realizes he's been staring a minute too long, and he is being rude as he nods a thanks to Shuichi and Izumi and moves towards Akira.

* * *

"You look like an upside-down tree." Kankuro says after finding Temari and Akira resting after their song ended. Akira frowns and glances at Kankuro.

"I didn't realize trees were black, and at least I don't look like a walking void." She mutters and Kankuro glances at her once more surprised and laughs.

"I was talking about your brown hair idiot." He chuckles and Akira feels her ears warm and her throat dry as she clears it. Temari blinks and laughs, muttering that Kankuro isn't wrong for once and Akira begrudgingly grins.

"I guess I'll give you that one." She smiles at him and Kankuro smiles as he sips his drink before he lowers it and frowns eyes darting past Akira.

Akira blinks at the sudden change when a hand presses into her shoulder and she resists the urge to jump at the sudden contact. She turns and she feels her face twist with disgust before she can stop it.

Kenji is one of Shuichi's childhood friends, despite being two years younger than Shuichi. He excels at genjutsu, and taijutsu but his ninjutsu has always been lacking. He also has started looking at her like he wants to eat her after she turned thirteen. Her skin crawls from the contact of his hand on her shoulder but she doesn't move from her seat instead brushing off the limb as she schools her face. Kenji's bright orange hair falls over one of his dark cobalt eyes and he grins when he looks at her. It would be comforting if it didn't look so unnatural and with so many teeth as Akira rolls her shoulders.

"What do you want Kenji?" she asks as he moves to stand in front of her.

"To meet your companions and to ask for a dance." He says smoothly, and Akira fights a grimace.

"This is Temari and Kankuro. Temari, Kankuro, this is Kenji, he's Shuichi's childhood friend." She says gesturing between the parties as Kenji holds up a finger.

"Actually I am also Akira's friend."

"Nope you're Shuichi's," she says smoothly and Temari sips her water brows raised as Kenji laughs a little forcibly. Kankuro eyes the orange-haired man and decides that if he tries something he will personally remove him from the festival. The thought doesn't give him pause considering Akira is uncomfortable and Gaara's friend as well as his sister's. Even if he didn't like the girl, she didn't deserve this.

"Oh come on Akira we've had good times." He says and Akira nods at that.

"Yeah we did, but then you started looking at me like you wanted to eat me. Like now." She says and glares at him. This was discussed so many times before and she wasn't willing to go through this again. He promised to stop, still stared at her, and Shuichi even had to tell him to stop. She didn't entirely understand what was going on but it didn't matter, all that did was that she didn't like him.

"I wanted to talk to you about why that is if you will. But first how about a dance?" he asks and Akira blinks before shaking her head.

"I already agreed to save a dance for someone." She says and Temari smiles and nods.

"Gaara will be here soon too." She mutters and Kankuro gives a nod as Kenji frowns.

"And who is this Gaara?" he asks eyes narrowing before a small wave of sand brushes Akira's shoulder, as though a warning and question and Akira inclines her head slightly as Gaara approaches from behind her.

"That is me." He says bluntly and Kankuro looks between Akira and Gaara and laughs.

"Man, you did that on purpose, huh Temari?" He snickers and Akira blinks before turning in her seat to realize that Gaara is terribly handsome tonight. His flaming locks are still wild and long and pushed to reveal the symbol on his brow. The outfit makes his gleaming mint eyes mesmerizing and her breath catches in her throat when they met her own dark brown. Akira looks away with a dry throat and resists the urge to clear it as she smiles at Kenji.

"Kenji this is my friend Gaara, who I promised a dance with." She says and stands but before the pair can leave Temari stops them.

"Hey, no, no, I want a picture of the two of you. It's Akira's first festival come over here!" she yells and Akira sweat drops at the proposal as Gaara nods. Kankuro grumbles as he waves over someone with a camera he shifts the bulky contraption over, meeting them half way from the table and away from a dejected Kenji. Temari grins as the four of them take a picture before she and Kankuro move out of the way for Gaara and Akira.

"You look really handsome tonight Gaara." Akira mumbles as she moves a little closer to Gaara who looks pleased as she grins for the picture. He's staring at her and the flash takes before he can turn, and he barely manages to look for the second.

"You don't look like a tree." He mumbles and Akira looks at him sharply before laughing and thanks him.

Kenji watches the pair, watches as Gaara looks at her, as he gently grabs her hand and inclines his head towards the music. Temari waves them off before asking for all takes of their pictures, and he watches as Akira grins and grips his hand tighter. She smiles at him more, she looks at him with an emotion he has rarely seen. She looks at Shuichi with admiration, at Kana with aspiration, and even at Izumi with wonder. But never him and now she looks at Gaara with something he can't place, but it's reciprocated, and that's all that really matters.

"Did you know that Gaara asked her to dance?" Temari asks Kankuro thinking Kenji is out of ear shot, but he isn't and he perks up at this.

"No I had no idea, maybe he had asked her before the festival." he reasons and Temari sighs as she looks out toward the crowd. "Wait does that mean you guessed?" he snorts as Temari shrugs.

"A little, I mean I figured, but anyway a slower song is starting soon. Something for the tourists and as long as they don't dance the last dance I'm sure village talk will cease." Kenji raises a brow at that.

"Oh Temari you know that it's an old superstition, I mean you don't have to marry the person you dance the last festival dance with. Just because that's how father and mother met-."

"I know but the village-."

"Will talk no matter what, let's just enjoy the festival eh?" he suggests and he hears the blond haired woman sigh as Kenji frowns. He always thought at some point he would be able to get her to be with him, but now this last dance would ruin that for good.

* * *

After they managed to blend into the crowd, Akira yanks Gaara away from the music and away from both his siblings and Kenji when they find a table she finally sighs and relaxes. Gaara offers her some water from a passing tray and she gladly accepts it, gulping a bit down before sipping the rest as he drinks from his own.

"I used to be friends with him. When we were kids, then when I turned thirteen he started looking at me like he wanted to eat me. I kept telling him to stop and he would quit for a few days but…" she sighs trailing off and Gaara nods once in understanding. Kenji had glared at him while Akira had her back turned and while Kankuro and Temari looked at the two of them. Kankuro then nodded when they met eyes as though agreeing to help get rid of him if he started anything. Gaara appreciated the gesture more than he knew, but thankfully they had fled before it came to that.

"Shuichi told me if he tried anything-."

"I can take care of him myself." Akira says firmly and Gaara raises a brow and gestures to her outfit. "Ok it might be a little hard in this, but I could." She insists, and he gives her a semi-smile.

"Shuichi said that Kenji is his friend. His responsibility." He mutters, and Akira tilts her head in acknowledgement. Her brother had a point even if she didn't want to admit it herself.

"Ok but did you really want to dance? And did you even ask anyone else?" Akira asks her eyes shining once more and there was a gentle curve to her mouth.

"With you yes, and no." he says taking a drink as Akira sips her own water trying to fight off a blush.

"Why me? And why didn't you ask?" she asks gently and Gaara lifts a shoulder. He is getting popular in the village after joining the troops. Not as many people fear him and he even helped teach a class at the academy. But he is still nervous still awkward at this interaction between humans and-.

He stops the thought before it can finish. He has found proof in texts, studies, and in different genres that he is human. He just needs to start acting more like it.

Akira gently touches his arm dragging him out of his thoughts. "Hey just ignore what I asked, those were bad questions anyway. I'm your friend that's why, and I get the other part." She says with a wink and Gaara exhales a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

He wants to say something, wants to tell her how he feels because it's moments like this one that has him so damn thankful for her understanding. But the music changes and Akira smiles and nods in the direction of the music.

"Are you ready?" she asks and Gaara looks at her a moment, dark eyes and dark hair, gleaming and shining and he gives her a small smile before nodding.

"Yes."

The music is slow as the two begin to dance. Temari and Kankuro watch from the sidelines along with Shuichi and Izumi. Kenji is also watching annoyed it's not him, but neither Gaara and Akira notice them as much as they should. Akira is at a loss for words as the dance begins and she waits for herself to feel awkward, and small against him. She could easily hide behind his broad shoulders and yet he's always been easy to hug. He's taller than her now and she has to crane her neck a little to see him and he is looking at her like he knows something she doesn't.

"What?" she asks after a moment her cheeks are hot and Gaara twirls her away before pulling her back in.

"You look beautiful tonight." He says and it's like he's mentioning the weather as Akira blinks surprised. "I like your hair." He says and this time it sounds awkward and he knows it but Akira smiles and looks at him.

"Your eyes look really pretty tonight. Almost like they are blue and it's lovely." She says and he isn't sure what to do or respond so he just guides them into another portion of the dance.

"Dance with me again?" he asks as the music begins the crescendo and Akira smiles and nods.

"Of course." She says and Gaara smiles at her.

* * *

Temari listens to the crowd next to her as she watches Gaara and Akira finish up the dance and freezes. She looks at Kankuro alarmed who merely bites his lip and shrugs. They can't do anything as the beat picks up a bit and Akira looks at Gaara surprised.

"What song is this?" she asks and Gaara looks at her surprised.

"It's a traditional Suna song, couples dance to it a lot. We don't have to if your uncomfortable." He says and Akira looks at him and frowns.

"I wouldn't mind but I've never danced to something like this before." She admits and Gaara thinks about it for a moment before looking at her.

"Do you trust me?" he asks and Akira tilts her head and makes a face at him.

"Of course I do."

"Then follow my lead." He says taking her hand in his and Akira sighs and smiles as he raises her arm to cross his. She stands in front of him and they wait until the count drops before he moves.

Gaara can't do much to physically guide her since they start the dance facing each other so sand gently guides her feet in the proper direction. It only takes a few times before she gets the hang of the beginning and as it speeds up Gaara moves taking her hand and pulling her close. Akira's breath catches at the proximity, but she remembers where she is and moves in time with him. It's almost like a tease, drawing closer to each other before flirting away and once more their arms cross as they circle each other. This time however sand guides Akira to act first as she grabs Gaara's hand and twirls under it. She grins at him when she catches his eye and his heart skips a beat now.

The rest of a dance is a blur to them Gaara is vaguely aware of the sand still gently ushering Akira in the correct direction and moves, but it's almost natural to the girl. The one thing Gaara has ever seen her excel at naturally is dance, and yes, she has excelled at being a shinobi but that was through hard work and grit. This was all her.

When the dance is done, and as they walk away, Akira turns and grins at him one final time. Maybe it's the way they dance that has left her hair in a gentle mess than the perfect curls it once was in. Maybe it's the gleam in her dark eyes or the shine on her beautiful lips but his heart beats harder than it should. He's staring at her more than he should, and he knows deep down that he needs to tell her. He moves to catch up to her as she's a few paces ahead, moves to finally tell her to admit his feelings-.

" _ **Maybe you're wrong and you're having a heart attack. Since you're human suddenly.**_ " Shukaku cackles and Gaara falters and Kenji moves.

Akira blinks realizing Gaara isn't behind her anymore when Kenji appears in front of her. His usual smile isn't on his face and for once he doesn't look unnerving, her eyes narrow as she watches him sigh. He looks at her again with concern filling his blue eyes and she remembers when they were young and when she first met him. The three of them, Kenji, Shuichi and herself were as thick as thieves back in the day. Then they got older, Shuichi met Izumi on his team, Kenji started to look at her like meat even when she beat the shit out of him in training, and then she left. Akira sighs and walks toward him, frowning and wondering when they had all changed.

Gaara watches from the background ready to move if need be. Even if he was shaken by Shukaku's words he would be there for Akira. They were friends. It was the least he could do.

Kenji smiles softly at her and sighs, "I fucked up a lot huh?" he asks and Akira nods once arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Yeah I miss when we were friends. What changed?" she asked and Kenji closes his eyes and smiles at her and Gaara sees her tense as Kankuro comes up claps him on the shoulder.

"Yeah you know what you should start to do?" he looks at Gaara with a gleam in his eyes and mutters his idea and Gaara raises a brow.

Akira shifts uncomfortably as Kenji smiles at her and closes his eyes. It's a little better when his eyes are closed but she isn't entirely sure when his smile changed from heartwarming to creepy.

"Look Akira I know I have fucked up a lot." Akira's eyes widen as a circle of sand is carefully drawn around Kenji and he slowly begins to move backward as though on a conveyor belt. She fights off a snicker as he slowly moves away from her. "I want to go back to being friends but I can't. I just want you to know why though-Am I moving backwards?" he asks and looks at her as Gaara walks forward and next to Akira.

"N-no-." She starts but fails to hold in a snort of laughter when he steps off the circle and glares at Gaara. Gaara quietly swears next to Akira at the action and she barely restrains doubling over as she snorts again.

"I'm sorry." She mutters to him but her eyes are thankful as she covers a hand with her mouth and Kenji looks at them.

"Akira I've been looking at you like that because I love you. I'm in love with you and I want to know-." He stops at Akira's surprised face and she takes a step backwards and catches Gaara's hand with hers.

Time slows as everyone gauges the situation. Gaara looking surprised at Akira's actions, Akira at Kenji's words, and Kenji at the gesture. Blue eyes fill with a mixture of anger and sadness as he looks at Akira again who drops Gaara's hand and shakes her head.

"I don't love you and I'm not ready for that." She breathes, and the truth hits her. Her doubt with Gaara and her own feelings suddenly make sense as she looks at Kenji.

"I have a lot of things to work out Kenji I need to focus on fixing myself. And it might not make sense to you, but even if I did like you like that. I still need to put myself first." She says and Gaara listens to her words and stares at her.

He was just like Kenji. He didn't understand her own pasts, and traumas. With her help he has dealt with some of his issues, but when had they talked about hers? They didn't even talk about her nightmare, and that was already a month ago, and now here he was. Gaara takes a breath at the realization and decides that he doesn't need to tell her.

But he does need to be a better friend.

Kenji looks between the two of them and sees Gaara's face at the declaration before he nods. He isn't the only one who is surprised by Akira's words and that takes the sting away a little.

"I wish we were still friends. But I dunno if we will be again." She admits and Kenji nods and pulls out a picture of the three of them as kids.

"I take it you want this then?" he asks and Akira shakes her head.

"Even if we aren't friends anymore I still cherish the memories of when we were." She admits and presses the picture into his hands. She doesn't smile but nods once to him and Kenji smiles begrudgingly before waving goodbye to them. He turns and leaves the festival heading back to the inn Shuichi, Izumi and him were staying at.

Akira relaxes completely for a moment exhausted before looking at Gaara amused. "Did you really think of that on your own?" she asks and Gaara shakes his head and points to where his siblings are watching.

"They're not even trying to hide." She mutters and Gaara 'hmms' in agreement.

"Still thank you. Is there anything left at the festival to do though?" she asks looking at him and Gaara nods once and offers his hand. Akira raises a brow before taking it and sand encircles them.

* * *

Akira opens her eyes up on top of a building, the festival is a few blocks over and down below them. She looks at Gaara surprised before he tilts his head to follow her. They walk across rooftops leisurely and silently enjoying each other's presence. Gaara waits and watches as she balances on the edges of a building before looking at him.

"So I asked Temari what the festival was for, like if it had a meaning, and she said it was just a fun way for the village to relax." She says and Gaara nods where he stands.

"You know I heard Temari say that dancing the last song with someone means you marry them." Akira says standing on one leg, back to Gaara who looks over at her curious where this is leading.

"Well it seems," she says and she leans backward and looks at him upside down her leg raised for balance. "We danced the last dance together." She says and Gaara looks at her shocked as she twirls and laughs.

"You didn't realize?" she asks as she wipes her eyes. "Oh I'm sorry your face was amazing, but I don't believe a dance determines anything." She says as Gaara makes a face at her as she looks at him and sighs.

"Ok I'm sorry and if it's about the song, if we are still single around I don't know thirty? Let's get married." She says with a sigh and Gaara blinks at her surprised.

"Why?" he asks and Akira sighs and looks at him. The kohl has smeared enough that she matches his own dark lids and his mouth quirks at that.

"Why not? I mean you're my best friend, and it would annoy the elders." She admits before looking at Gaara a moment. "And I don't think being married to you would be bad honestly." She considers this as Gaara's mouth twitches upwards again.

That is until an explosion sounds over the village and Akira jumps out of her skin and almost falls off the edge of the building. She manages to catch herself and Gaara's sand hovers around her as he looks at her concerned as the light of fireworks illuminates from above. Akira laughs then and places a hand over her heart as she steps away from the edge of the building.

"I thought the village was being attacked, I didn't know the festival ended with fireworks." She sighs and places a hand on Gaara's arm as she looks up in amazement.

Gaara looks at her, really looks at her, some of her thin white scars can be seen through the silts on her sleeves. Her hair is messy now, and her colored lips are faded from water. He knows her favorite color is the sky when night is approaching, knows that she wants to be an instructor at the academy, he knows she clears her throat when she's embarrassed and her ears turn red before her cheeks do. He knows that she can't remember some of her past and knows her for who she is. Even if the scars are unsightly, if he's honest with himself, he doesn't care.

"Akira?" he says and she hums but doesn't tear her eyes from the sky. "I want to be a better friend to you." He earnestly enough that she looks at him then surprised. Fireworks illuminate behind him and the beautiful eyes of his seems to glow.

"You have given me your space, have-."

"You've done the same. You gave me a dance studio that's almost completely private." She winks and Gaara feels his face heat. "Your family is like my own. I just haven't opened up the way you have. And I'm glad you have never pushed me." She turns to face him fully and grabs his hands in hers.

"I will open up to you. You are truly the greatest friend I could have ever asked for. And tonight has been amazing Gaara." She finishes and Gaara feels the worry in his chest slide away. He pulls her close and Akira barely as a second to catch her breath as they tumble away. She blinks her eyes open as she pulls back slightly. They are in her room as she glances around and turns to smile-.

Only to have one hand gently catch her chin and Gaara's lips brush against her cheek. Her mind stops and heat rises to her ears and face as he pulls back from the peck and looks at her once over.

"You looked beautiful tonight." He mutters and steps back from her. "I'll tell Temari you had a great time, and Akira," she blinks still dazed as he smiles at her and her heart skips another damn beat. "You're my best friend too. Thank you for tonight." And like that he's gone.

Akira's face is warm and she closes her window before collapsing to the floor and realizing two things.

She is an idiot.

And she has a crush on Gaara.

Akira moans loudly and lays on the floor of her bedroom and curses her life since she had just sworn off romance until she is fixed. And she still had a mission report to deliver, and another mission two days from now.

She moans again before moving to the bed this time and curses this world. And curses her idiot of a best friend for being so damn annoyingly wonderful and giving her every right to love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Stolen Dance by Milky Chance was the lead song for this chapter although FRIENDS by Marshmellow and Anne-Marie, and Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran certainly played their own roles in some cuts of the chapter. (Props to anyone who figures out the respective scenes for these). Well now that Shukaku's plan in getting Gaara to fall for Akira is working and Akira wants Gaara in return, we are getting close to finishing Arc 1, are you ready?!
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!


	10. Awake My Soul

Gaara doesn't bother to pace as Baki nods once to him before re-entering the chamber. He doesn't turn his head over his shoulder to were he knows his sister, brother, and friend wait, listening for any news. No, he is calm and almost uninterested as he stands outside the door, even as his heart beats a little harder in his chest. He can hear quiet talking, can hear discussions being had, and Baki's voice is lost in between the rest of them. Which all things considered is the best outcome since it isn't him trying to convince a dead quiet room.

Of course, maybe the discussion isn't a better solution either-.

The train of thought stops as Baki opens the door and tilts his head for Gaara to enter behind him. Temari sucks in a breath as Kankuro growls where he stands itching to go in. Akira tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, antsy as well. It seems like an eternity before Gaara comes out shaking Baki's hand once before turning down the hall. Baki spies the three of them before he nods once and turns the separate way, not seeing as the three of them race after Gaara.

They find him standing atop the Kazekage building and they exchange nervous glances before he turns around and smiles at them.

He doesn't, or can't, say anything before they are on him. Laughing and celebrating, and sand has to stop them from hoisting Gaara up in the air, as he blinks and smiles through it all. A part of him still isn't used to the physical affection his siblings and Akira give to him, but he appreciates it nonetheless.

"I am not Kazekage yet," he eventually gets out and they stop long enough to look at him, shooting each other looks as well as him. Kankuro is already half way turned to go back into the council room when Gaara stops him, grabbing his arm before he can fully leave. "I only have one more mission. Akira," he turns to her and she blinks surprised. "We will be gone for a while to check on the border by Kumo."

"Why can't we go?" Kankuro asks as Temari and Akira nod confused while Gaara crosses his arms.

"Because I need to show I can go on longer missions without my siblings being apart of it. A simple two-man border check mission is all that is standing in my way now." He looks at Akira again. "Will you accompany me?" she doesn't hesitant as she nods and offers a fist.

"Hell yes!" she grins at him as they fist bump and his siblings smile at one another.

* * *

The sun is high as they leave the desert behind them. Baki gave them a scroll for correspondence, Temari and Kankuro both wishing them well (Kankuro begrudgingly giving Akira a clap on the shoulder before muttering to be safe and to keep his brother safe while she jokingly scoffed, Gaara had gotten tackled in hugs by his brother after.) before they headed off. Gaara's face as been stone since they left this morning, having packed and sealed everything away the night prior. He even stayed the entire night making sure they went over the plan and after all was done he flopped on her bed with a content sigh. He is going to be Kazekage.

Baki and the council members looked over the paperwork and agreed that he was a prime candidate for being Kazekage. Temari chosing to be a diplomat, and Kankuro, after hearing Gaara's dream, had stepped aside immediately wanting the best for his brother. The village trusted him after his working with the troops, and his "relationship" with Akira had humanized him in their eyes, and now all that was left was a long mission with someone he could trust. When they came back all that would be left were a few more ceremonial procedures.

A simple border check mission. To make sure that no groups of outside shinobi were lying in wait. And to check on the towns that lived further out and could not get as much protection as Suna itself did.

That's what stood between Gaara and his goal now as he marched forth, Akira in tow, onward to his dream.

* * *

Night had approached faster than he anticipated, and they still were about a day out of the inn. As they sat around the fire Gaara's sand spread out establishing a border while the two relaxed.

"Hey, I know you probably already know this but," Akira leans forward and smiles at him. "This mission will be my best one yet."

Gaara grimaces. "It's bad luck to talk like that."

"I thought it was good luck."

"This is why you get injured a lot." He says tapping a fist into his open palm as realization hits him and Akira tries to glare at him but a smile creeps it's way on her face anyway.

He likes how the firelight illuminates her in the night, and he really likes making her smile. The festival was only two weeks ago but after dancing with Akira and kissing her cheek something had shifted in him. He isn't sure what it is, but he does know now how he truly feels. There isn't any doubt. He just wants to wait now until after the mission, after he is Kazekage, and after Akira has opened to him more.

"Hey Gaara," Akira calls waving at him with a raised brow as he blinks surprised that he has gotten lost in thought. "I asked you a question." She mutters gesturing for him to answer as he winces.

"What did you ask?"

"What kind of person do you hope to marry?" she asks as he blinks surprised.

"I don't know, I haven't thought of marriage," he admits as Akira shrugs.

"I know and neither do I usually but with you being Kazekage, girls will be all over you soon I'm sure. Or if you prefer dudes, then they will be all over you." She gives him a wink even though she is a little uncomfortable to say the least. She wants to be more than friends, but they are on different paths, and who knows what kind of person he even likes.

"I'll answer if you do." He shifts so his leg is propped up now as Akira rolls her eyes.

"Ok but I asked first."

"I'm Kazekage." Akira shoots him a look at that before sighing.

"I guess I better get used to that. But honestly, I think I would pick a civilian. Someone who I know will stay in the village safe." Gaara tilts his head at the answer as Akira looks at the fire. "If we have children and I keep being a shinobi, I want them to always have at least one of us. I don't want them left behind uncared for." She admits and Gaara hums in understanding.

"I think down the line, I would be fine without a partner honestly, but I wouldn't mind someone who isn't scared of me." He mutters and Akira chuckles at that.

"That hardly tells me anything Gaara."

"It's all I really want. I don't have much interest in romance." It's not a total lie. He really didn't care much for romance until he realized how Akira made him feel. How he has fallen for her. And now he understands some of wanting to kiss, or hold, another person, but even now he still feels a bit indifferent. But laying in bed with her and seeing her wake up next to him and having tea with late night conversations are the things he likes the most with her. He could see them marrying, could see her laying in bed next to him and that's really what he wanted.

"Completely understandable. I don't personally care for Temari's romance stories, but they are fun to laugh at." She grins at him before rising to a stand. "If we travel through the night we should reach the inn by morning." Gaara nods once and puts out the fire with a sweep of his hand. He also likes how Akira requires as much rest as he does, likes the fact that when he meets her eyes there is steel there.

She is a true shinobi when on mission, just because they are friends doesn't mean she gets too comfortable (aside from their last mission together), and the two travel through the night in quiet.

* * *

"I think there is a problem?" she sounds unsure as she enters the room as Gaara follows a little behind her. She moves to let him past her and he pauses brows furrowing at the very noticeable issue.

"There is only one bed." He observes as Akira nods once and they exchange a look before looking to see if there is an adjacent room missing. They have shared a room before when she was injured but both were unsettled by the turn of events even if they didn't admit it to each other. Eventually after checking any door they can find, they give up and Gaara shrugs before sitting on the bed.

"At least it's big enough for two," he mutters as Akira flops down next to him.

"Do you know why they only gave us one though?" she asks as she folds her hands over her stomach as Gaara thinks a moment.

"I know Baki muttered about this not being a retreat or vacation but I don't-."

"Oh my- that's right! The whole village thinks we're dating!" Her arms go in the air as realization hits her and Gaara gives her a look surprised and confused at the outburst.

"What?"

"Remember when we danced at the festival?" she asks propping herself on her elbow as he nods. "Well I guess people had already assumed we were dating due to us hanging out a bunch, and the festival was just confirmation. I thought Temari was kidding but it makes sense now." Gaara looks away surprised before looking back at Akira.

"Are we dating?" he asks, his chest feels a little tight and he can't help but worry that maybe his thought process has been wrong all the while. The anxiety passes when Akira smiles at him and shakes her head.

"No we are not." She says before pushing herself off the bed to a stand. "Might as well try and rest tonight though. I'll be right back."

Akira looks at herself in the mirror as she finishes washing her face. A towel is around her shoulders as she sighs and grabs the edges of the sink. "It's just for a night. It's not like he's going to sleep. You're not going to sleep much either. You're on mission it's fine." She mutters and maybe it's because they aren't home. Maybe because they are alone and it's the two of them and no one would need to know if this escalated to more than friends. Akira swears under her breath before leaving the bathroom, it's going to be a long night.

When she comes out Gaara finishes the message he is sending to Baki as Akira flops on the bed again with a sigh. He glances at her a moment before sitting with her. They agreed to rest at the inn a night, before carrying on. One night in the inn was all Baki gave them anyway, they just hadn't expected to be given one bed.

"You can have the bed, I'll keep watch." He says as Akira sits up with a look.

"Just because you can't sleep doesn't mean you should take the entire night. Let me know when you need me besides I don't often sleep on missions." She says as Gaara gives her a look of his own.

"You will rest and I will keep watch," she opened her mouth to argue but he held up a hand "I am leading this mission." He is amused as Akira lets out a huff of annoyance before nodding once.

It isn't much longer before Akira is laying down, the lights are off and Gaara is keeping a close eye on their surroundings. He can hear her toss and turn and try to get rest despite not having the want for it. It takes longer than it should before her breathing finally evens out and sleep finally takes her as Gaara continues to stand guard.

* * *

'She is running, the halls are dark and she can't make much out. She's shorter than she knows she should be, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that she must get away. She glances back over her shoulder, her bare feet hurt and the rocks that drive into them as she runs seem slick now. She doesn't care all that much of the pain in her feet when she catches a glint of metal and fear edges her to run faster. It's too late though, anticipation and anxiety fuel her and she screams as the metal finally drives itself home into her shoulder blade. Hands press her down as they stab again to her hip, a slash on her side,-.

She gasps awake desperately gulping in deep breaths of oxygen into her lungs as Gaara's grip on her shoulder doesn't untighten. It hurts a little, but the pain grounds her. This is real. He is here, and real.

But that memory is also real she knows as a shudder runs through her. She runs a hand over her face and realizes tears have run their course down her cheeks as she gives out a shuddering breath.

Gaara doesn't say anything as he hands her a glass of water. Akira mumbles something along the lines of gratitude before sipping on it.

"Another nightmare." His voice is rough but gentle and even though it wasn't a question Akira nods numbly anyway.

"Will you be ok?" he asks and she knows it isn't just for tonight.

"I can finish the mission. I j-just need to breath." She says her voice getting stronger with every word. She knows the memory the nightmare came from now. It's at the forefront of her mind but she has done missions like this before. She can finish his mission. She has to. "I'm not going to hold you b-back." Her voice still trembles but there is steel in it now.

Gaara thinks for a bit before standing and moving to the other side of the bed. "I'll stay beside you if you want to talk or sleep again." He is laying down before she can protest, and she sighs.

"If you're sure." Silence finds its way over them then as Akira lays back down.

She won't admit to the tremble still in her hands, to the tense posture of her body. She keeps taking deep breaths and there is the slight shake on the inhale. Gaara looks at her a moment and knows trying to get her to speak about it if she doesn't want to would be useless. So, he grasps her hand and edges close enough that their shoulders brush.

"I had a caretaker when I was little." Akira looks at him surprised before rolling on her side to face him. "He was my uncle, Yashamaru, my mother's brother." He looks at her wide eyes before taking a breath. His chest hurts as he tells her about how caring his uncle was, about how he was never truly scared of him when Gaara was a child. At some point Akira shifts to lay her head on Gaara's shoulder as she holds his hand. She listens quietly to his stories of his uncle, as he learned from the man, and when it's done there is a painful look on Gaara's face.

"He's gone now, he died-." He stops and he struggles with admitting it even now. His father's death hadn't affected him as much, even his siblings had cried a little, but Yashamaru effected them all more than their father. He had been the last link to their mother, someone who cleaned up their wounds and never critized them for crying as children. And he had been the one to kill him. Akira squeezes his hand and gives him a small smile.

"I don't have to know. It's ok. Thank you for telling me about him. And thank you for helping me." She pecks Gaara's cheek softly as he nods, and his chest still hurts, still feels heavy knowing Akira doesn't have the full truth. When he finally thinks he can say it he realizes she's asleep again. He takes a breath and relaxes. Next time, he'll finish the story.

For now, helping Akira, giving her distraction, eases the pain in his chest quicker than before.

* * *

Her head has not moved from his shoulder. His arm had fallen asleep some time ago and he eventually moved into a better position with her her head now next to his shoulder. Gaara stares out of the window from the bed, he has been sensing and using his Third Eye Technique to make sure they are safe. Now as dawn approaches he feels himself relax a little. And he takes a moment to look at his sleeping friend next to him. Soft light has illuminated her gently, and he feels his heart swell as she shifts and opens her eyes to him. He watches quietly as she blinks at him a moment her eyes widening before she smiles softly at him. Gaara stares at her a moment before smiling back, yes this is what he wanted. This is what he could get used to.

Nightmares usually called for terrible nights, but last night had be better than before. Her mind barely registers the unusual pillow she is on until she moves. Sunlight catches in Gaara's bright red hair and she blinks surprised believing it to be on fire for a moment before reality hits her. Mint colored eyes seem to gleam in the soft light of dawn and look particularly bright against his dark lids. She smiles at him still sleepy, relaxed, and warm in this position. She can hear his heartbeat now and a part of her wants to close her eyes again to listen, but she instead shifts a little. She half snuggles into him, half into her covers as she blinks at him again. He is lovely to wake up, she realizes and his brow quirks up along with the corner of his mouth.

"What?" he asks and it takes Akira almost a full minute to realize what she has said aloud.

"Well…" she pauses and rolls her eyes. Might as well own up to it. "Oh, fuck it. Gaara you are pretty. You are handsome, and honestly," she is sitting up now as she looks over her shoulder and gives him another slightly tired smile. "You really aren't a bad sight to wake up to." She stands then and enters the bathroom and Gaara feels himself start to turn red as he sits up from the bed with a frown.

Unbeknownst to him, Shukaku smiles from the back of his mind. Grins at Gaara's frantic thoughts of Akira's smile, of the light that turned her brown eyes into honey again. And her words. Shukaku fights off the urge to laugh at the words Akira has said. These two were like puppets on strings. Gaara had opened up to Akira and learned to trust her. Now that Gaara has fallen in love with her, there is just one more move to his plan.

Akira has to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons came to mind because I wanted a song that sounded like that came full circle. A while ago Gaara didn't trust Akira, and now here we are with him talking about Yashamaru, and with him trusting her to go on his last mission as Kazekage. (Even if it is pushed by Shukaku)
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time!


	11. Show Me What I'm Looking For

The breeze feels pleasant and cool against their skin as clouds hug close to the sun above. Gaara glances up as they drift overhead, some of the thicker and heavier ones concern him. The mission is almost done. The woods they were in held smaller thinner trees, and close to a rocky outcrop just off to the east of Suna. It was the last place, and would take the longest due to some cave systems that could be used for hidden bases. Gaara's sand could easily flush out any invaders they sensed but for now they only traveled to it. The conversations have been light, usually mission focused but Akira is worrying him. After her nightmare her hands on the kunai are still shaky, her movements a little sluggish. He sees steel in her eyes though, and even when her hands shake, the grip is firm and ready.

He tells himself that it is enough, even if it sits heavy with him.

Everything else is going smoothly however.

So far due to the need of rest being minimal, they have cut at least a full day's worth of travel from their mission. Gaara had been pleased to find out, and now, all that is left is one more stop before heading home. A part of him is nervous now thinking of home as his eyes drift over to Akira. Her own were upward toward the heavy clouds, and he glances away quickly before she can catch him.

He had made the decision to tell her, but given she doesn't know about Yashamaru, or her own past, hesitation has found its home in his gut. He remembers her words to Kenji and wonders if telling her how he feels is the right choice. He doesn't want to be like Kenji, nor does he want to ruin what they have. Besides when had he started feeling like this? It seems sudden, to have fallen for her like this, to have trusted her this soon. A part of him worries over his thoughts, if his mind is even his…but then again Shukaku hates Akira, what would he gain if Gaara fell in love with her? Gaara shrugs it off and lets out a breath not having realized how tense he is.

Akira scans over Gaara and sees the way his shoulders are set; even with the gourd on his back she can tell his tense. The mission is going smoothly, and the conversations haven't been awkward, to her, at least. She glances upwards again before sighing.

"Are you worried about the sky too?" Gaara glances back toward her almost surprised.

' _So, it wasn't the weather_.' she surmises as he turns away from her.

"We may have to stop if it gets bad. But rain shouldn't put us behind." He says after a moment as Akira scans him over once more before leaving it alone. They were on mission, she couldn't be straight forward in asking, and if he was tense about something relating to the mission he would tell her.

Akira falls back into step behind him, keeping lookout, and only occasionally gets distracted by him. (She rationalizes that she cares that he is tense, and that is why she finds herself looking at his board shoulders.) Of course, she berates herself when she does get distracted since they are on mission. (And staring at Gaara's shoulders is not something she should be doing). So, she thinks of what Gaara could be stressed about, as she scans the tree line.

She wonders if it is because once they are back he will be Kazekage. But the thought doesn't sit well with her, he has wanted this for so long, has set his heart on being Kazekage. Now they were at the edge of him accomplishing his dream.

Maybe he is worried he will fail? Nonsense though, he has Baki, Temari, and Kankuro, she reasons before sighing and letting the subject go. He is tense, and she can't ask. He is also distracting, and she grumbles and berates herself in her head. She turns to look to her right before stopping and crouching low.

"Ga-." She starts and stops when he turns crouching down as well as they share a look.

Keeping low to the ground, they spy a group of ronin in the distance as they quickly and carefully follow behind.

* * *

"Oh fuck." Akira breaths once they get to the compound and Gaara finds himself agreeing with the sentiment. The compound is better than any he has seen before, and even with their strength, they might not be enough to take it. At first glance it may have seemed to be just some hidden tents on the inner walls of the rocky terrain, but the more they looked the more complex the system seemed, and if every light they saw shining in the darkness was a ronin, then they were far too outnumbered.

"We can come back later," he mutters as Akira looks at him before shaking her head.

"If we leave now this place might be abandoned when we get back."

"The size of it suggests otherwise," he says stepping closer and before Akira could start he continues. "We can come back and try and copy any plans or see if anyone is captured then-."

"I can get eyes into the place now if you let me speak," There is a glimmer of amusement in her eyes as she bites her thumb and presses a palm into the ground.

"You have a summons?" he questions as Akira shrugged.

"My mother passed down a mouse summons to me. Recently signed the contract but anyway met Chizu." She holds up her palm and smiles as the little brown mouse sits up on her hind-legs and gives Gaara a salute. Her tiny pink paw pressing against her Suna headband as Gaara feels his lips quirk up.

"I'll send Chizu in with the intent of getting an estimate number of our enemies, if any hostages are present, and see if she can find any details of any plans in there. That way when we report the location to Baki we'll already have a head start on the investigation of this damn place." She looks at Gaara then and his mint eyes have gone cold. "What-?"

"They are changing guards, send Chizu in and be quick." He instructs as Akira nods and lowers her hand down again, she mutters quietly to the little mouse who once more salutes and scurries off.

Gaara grabs her hand then and pulls her close as sand wraps around them and darkness whisks them away. They stop a few meters away from the compound as Akira pulls out a blank small scroll and presses a bloody thumb print to it. Gaara watches slightly impressed, before turning away to scan the small clearing they found.

"When did you acquire Chizu?" his voice is softer than normal, and Akira looks up at him surprised.

"I think last week specifically, but it always slipped my mind in telling you," she turns back to her scroll. "If it makes you feel better I don't think I told Temari yet." She hears him grumble something and she smiles to herself.

A puff of smoke appears as Chizu strikes a pose her face in her elbow while her other arm is extended out parallel to the arm covering her face and she's leaned forward a little. Akira chuckles as she taps the scroll, and Chizu jumps up then, pulling a brush from the tiny utility belt on her waist. She quickly gives the information she has found before Akira thanks her, and she nods once before dispelling the summons.

Gaara offers his hand again once as Akira rises from her knees, and she quickly grabs his hand as sand whisks them away again. Just before the sand encircles them though he swears he sees something in the distance and wraps an arm around Akira. She blinks and feels her ears heat from the action, not having noticed the movement as they disappear. Only knowing that Gaara's arm is around her, and her head is on his chest, and this is unnecessarily close for moving away from the spot.

In the shadows, figures leap and chase after them, not happy at all from the security breach of a little mouse.

* * *

Gaara releases Akira once they land and he quickly scans the area again, as Akira looks at him concerned.

"Let's move." He mutters after a moment and Akira nods catching his eyes. They were either being chased, or he simply wanted to be safe as the two speed away. Akira feels herself losing her breath faster and her body feels heavier. She catches some movement on her arm and realization hits her as she shoots a glance at Gaara.

In the moment he pulled her closer, he had sent his sand to act as a second layer of protection around her. Only now her body felt heavier and harder to move, but she can't help the quirk to her lips at the thought. She feels especially grateful when she hears the heavy 'thunk' of a shuriken hitting the tree next to her.

She hears Gaara swear as she takes a breath and rips out her kunai. Her hands feel sweaty on the weapon and she feels her grip start to falter. Her heart thuds loudly in her chest as anxiety fills her and she lets out a shaky breath. She looks at Gaara then and re-grips the kunai forcing the shaking to stop before preparing to face the enemy.

' _I can't- I won't let fear win_.' She feels her hand steady as Gaara stops and spins to face their enemies. Akira parks herself a little behind him. They stand back to back, Akira's kunai pulled out and hovered in the air by chakra strings, while Gaara's sand stayed steady around them.

Gaara glances around quickly and stares at the rogue ninja adding up a total from what he can see and lets his sand whip out at them.

The few that face Gaara move out of the way as his sand tries to snatch at them. They laugh as he moves the sand to further separate the few in front of him, bringing him closer to his goal. Akira rushes her kunai forward and manages to immobilize one enemy with a slash to their heel. She rushes the next ones, aiming a high kick to their temple and when it is blocked smiles sinisterly as her kunai finds its home in his gut. Though Gaara and her are outnumbered, they are not out matched as Gaara finally catches the now scattered enemies and kills them. Akira put another two out of commission and kills the third, even with the sand armor her movements are only slowed slightly.

Shukaku can taste the blood on the air, can sense one enemy make his way to the treetops and before Gaara can act on the hidden rogue, he rakes his claws down against the bars of his cage and howls.

* * *

Gaara cries out after crushing a few enemies and holds his head in one hand. The pain in his mind nearly blinds him and Akira knocks out the last enemy on her side of the battle with a solid punch before looking over to him. She stares at the onslaught of whirling sand, of his face clenched in pain and slight terror. Akira brings her kunai in close again, and scans the area, deeming it safe enough as she slowly approaches Gaara but stops as he raises a hand.

"Stay back. Shukaku-." He starts and groans as he collapses to his knees. He can feel Shukaku's sand in his mind, seeping through the bars. It spans on everywhere, making his thoughts sluggish, his mind hazy. All the while, the beast within laughs and howls, and claws rake, scratch, tear down all the barricades.

He can feel it as it slowly overtakes him now. Sand pressing against his skin, against his soul-.

A hand presses against his shoulder, the other against his cheek and Akira's face comes into focus. He stares at her face; her pink lips and he winces realizing there are small cuts on it. The exposed skin being slashed at by his whirlwind of sand. Still it doesn't stop her, doesn't deter her as she does her best to smile at him. It doesn't reach her eyes, but there is steel in the dark brown of her eyes and he feels steadier.

"Hey it's ok, we're safe. I'm ok, you're ok." She whispers softly, her kunai scattered at the far edges of his whirlwind, and he shakes his head almost desperate for her to understand. To get _away-._ "No, no, listen, Gaara, hey, look, all the enemies are gone. We won, the mission is done, and we can go home." She brushes his hair gently and hugs him rubbing his back around his gourd as she presses his head against her chest. "You're going to get you're dream, don't let Shukaku win. You've come so far. You've changed so much, you're stronger than this." She mutters softly as the sand slowly dies down around her and Gaara takes a shaky inhale.

The bars have crumbled, but Shukaku does not go far before hard iron walls slam down around him, sand can't get through, it presses and tries but not a single grain can penetrate. Shukaku shudders and retreats. He is in control, the sand is his, _not_ Shukaku's.

His mind is his, _not_ Shukaku's.

He pulls back, and his mint eyes look at her, avoid of any star-like pupils and she can't help it, she grins. She's done it. She's helped him regain control. Gaara smiles back at her and for a moment relaxes. For a moment stops thinking and stares hard at those lovely brown eyes, lips, smile. He wants to kiss her, and maybe he would have….

He would have…. Yes, maybe in another scenario….

The next moment is not a kiss of the lips. It's not a gentle lovely scene that Gaara expects, has ached for.

The next moment is when the stray ronin sees an opportunity and takes it.

Akira is still smiling, still grinning, when the kunai pierces her chest from above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar is interesting, due to the fact that I think it leads up to the next chapter quite nicely. Gaara realizes to a degree what he's looking for, knows Akira is important to him. But what will happen now that he's losing control, and her? Sorry (not sorry) for the minor cliffhanger, I will try and update soon, but we will be wrapping up the first arc here in a bit.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time!


	12. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

Gaara's gaze is locked on Akira, her ashen face, smiling just moments before, now decorated in bloody red splashes, and he feels warm wet blood splatter on his own face. He feels the sticky liquid start to drip down, clinging to his skin, the scent of iron heavy around him. He feels his jaw unhinge, feels his limbs starting to shake, and before he's fully aware sand protects him from another kunai, blocking it before racing up the tree in long spiraling tendrils.

He hears a strangled scream for a second and the ronin is dead. Blood soaked sand starts to fall around them but Gaara doesn't notice, doesn't realize that they are still out in the open, still surrounded by bodies and death. He is solely focused on Akira.

He can taste the telltale metallic tang on his tongue, is still staring at Akira's pain ridden expression, but doesn't see her face.

No... he does see her face.

He sees her smile, the kind warm one, just moments ago.

Now bloody.

Now _bloody._

_Bloody red._

Shukaku cackles madly in the depth of his mind, an echo growing louder. Gaara feels himself tense at the laugh, at the image before him, as the blood on Akira's face starts to drip and run down it coating her lips, and streaking her skin. He watches as her smile stretches too big, too wide, for it to feel comforting. He still tastes metallic iron on his tongue, feels the tremble in his limbs, and everything seems to dim out as he sinks down into sand, slowly being consumed by it. Until everything is black.

_And bloody red._

* * *

Akira can taste iron on her tongue as she swallows the blood in her mouth, the warm liquid like sludge down her throat. She grimaces and lets out a shaky breath, before swearing violently as she pulls the kunai out of her chest. Between her chunin vest, mesh armor, and other layers, the slash is shallow enough and more of a flesh wound as she heals it. Still, it is more luck than anything that it isn't worse, that she is alive and she shudders. She feels her heart pounding in her chest and her hands shake a little as she presses her chakra covered hand to her chest, and is soon, thankfully, simply sticky with blood. She is vaguely aware that Gaara has killed the ronin that has injured her but she scans the surroundings quickly again anyway. She looks at Gaara who has sunk back on his heels head down and arms heavy at his sides. She lets out another shaky breath, frazzled from the brush of death, as she shifts forward towards him.

"Gaara, hey, look I'm ok." She whispers gently, even if she knows it's a lie, before reaching out only to have sand bind tightly to her wrist. It's course against her skin and she winces from the squeeze.

She hears a growl come from him, and realizes something is different, not _right_ , as she tries to pulls back.

"What-?" She freezes and doesn't have time to react to the yellow diamond eyes that lift up to meet hers. Her eyes can only widen as "filthy" is growled in a voice that is _not_ Gaara's, and a sick snap rings out as her arm is slammed toward the ground.

Akira's mind goes blank and she barely realizes she's screaming at sight of bone jutting out, at the shooting pains that go sharply up her arm, as Shukaku lazily tilts Gaara's head back at her. A slow crazed smile spreads across his face.

He is free.

And watching Akira's face twist in pain, is so... _delicious._

She looks up from her wrist meeting his eyes, and it's only a second, _only a second_ , before she's thrown across the clearing. Sand hits her chest leaving her stunned and it's all she can do to cradle her wrist as she's launched. Air leaving her lungs when she hits the ground hard, and she's scrambling to her feet more on instinct than anything else. Her knees wobble, blood trickles down from her injury as she looks at the shell of her friend.

"Shukaku." She winces from the pain of breathing, coughing hard and throaty, and from the waver in her voice. Her side is sore but her ribs feel unbroken as her legs twitch to run. She hugs her wrist to her chest, favoring it as she watches him with terror wide eyes.

Gaara's mouth is still in that lazy, crazed grin, as sand slithers around him. Shukaku laughs hauntingly as he moves Gaara's body, shifting his weight awkwardly in movements that are jerky at best as he rises.

He's not used to having free reign in a body in quite a time, and it's obvious from the jointed, sharper movements, so unlike and unnerving, from Gaara's fluid ones.

"G-Give Gaara back!" She shouts wrist still pressed against her chest, as he snorts.

"He was never really here." He says in a low voice, so much rougher than Gaara's baritone. "Human emotions are so…easy to twist and confused. You made him feel something, and I," he grins as he looks at her pointedly. "I _twisted_ that."

Akira feels her heart drop at the news, at the words. He twisted how Gaara felt? Was...their friendship a lie? "I-I don't believe you-."

"Oh but I think you do. You're so afraid now." He took a sharp, hard step forward and she jumps back instinctively. She winces hard more disgusted at herself than anything.

"I-I'm not-."

"LISTEN WHEN I SPEAK!" he roars before she can finish as a wave of sand slams into her again, this time throwing her to the side as she yelps. It smashes her wrist a little, sending more ache through her but it doesn't stun her.

This time she rolls with the hit, the wave, careful of her wrist as it throbs in movement. She sits on her knees, cradling her wrist, legs shaking underneath her. Her eyes are locked on the sharp white bone, the torn skin and muscles and how she can just barely move her little finger with blood dripping down onto her thighs. Muscles twitching, aching to run, while the rest of her is frozen, wanting to fight but the terror in her soul is enormous. She hates this. Hates that the power radiating from this beast is so overwhelming she can barely get a handle on herself. She closes her eyes in self-loathing wanting nothing more than to feel some semblance of control again. But what could she do against this monster? He's twisted their friendship and she knows she can't win. She's not looking at him, when he speaks again in a low voice.

"I'm going to kill you. Then with your death, I'll make him sink into despair, and I'll use it to bind him back until I'm done with that village. They will see him for a monster if any of them survive, and he'll have no where to go. He'll be my prisoner! MINE!" he roars as Akira sits still, paralyzed it seems. The shaking in her legs has stopped and he takes a deep breath, wanting to taste her fear in the air.

But he is wrong and it is not fear he tastes.

"I made him a promise," she says in a quiet voice, and the snap of her wrist setting is loud in the silence. "I am afraid," she admits as she rises, shakily to her feet. "But I'm not leaving him. I'm not letting you erase everything he's worked so hard to achieve." She looks at him then as she turns to face him, dropping down into a fighting stance. Feet spread, hands raised, ready to fight.

"I won't let you take him." She says as Shukaku narrows his eyes, her voice is still wavering at the end, her hands have tremors in them. The fear in her body is evident.

And yet in her eyes is that of fire and steel.

He smirks, and raises the sand up, but she is already signing, and she jerks a chakra charged hand towards him.

"Seal Reinforcement Jutsu!" she screams the name and he jerks back, surprised at the jutsu. He hadn't realized she had been training with her mother-.

The charka charged in her hand disperses, and she blinks.

Everything in the next few moments come in a clarity and stillness that leaves Akira in a weird state of scared and calmed. She watches as the charka, without proper direction disperses quietly and quickly. She's aware of Shukaku's yellow diamond eyes widening and then narrowing a heartbeat later, while his sand that half encased him, trying to stop a jutsu before it activated fully now launches toward her in dangerous lethal spirals. She looks at her hand surprised, sees the light that is dancing on her skin from where it shines through between the leaves of the tree above. She looks up to seem the spirals as they draw closer, see how some rays of light shine through on Gaara as well. The pair of them dappled in shadows and sunlight.

In that moment everything is frozen as reality sets in.

It hadn't worked.

Akira lets out a breath, all she can really do now, as Shukaku smiles and the sand slams into her.

Shukaku cackles crazed as sand covers Akira. It swirls and moves around her throat, arms, legs, eyes. It's suffocating, it's encasing. It scratches where it slithers against her, grating against her skin, it's dry, and the iron scent of it makes her hair stand on end. How many bodies have been crushed like this? What number is she going to be added to? The thought makes her squirm harder, strain against it harder. She doesn't want to die like this, by this slithering, moving, mass of sand and she wants it _off._ Her muscles burn and her wrist aches where she wrestles but it's unyielding, unending, as it slides between her fingers, and she's surrounded, unable to move and she feels it start to _squeeze._

She hears a muffled straggled cry, and grunt, and suddenly she's free, and barely gulps down any air before the sand is pushing, shoving her away into the treeline.

"Ga-." She starts, her mind finally catching up, but she can barely get a syllable out before he's shouting.

"Akira, run!" His mint eyes met hers and she can see black slowly consuming his left one as he cries out and clutches his head.

"I'm not leaving you!" Gaara looks at her pleadingly but she's determined as she tries to turn against his sand.

He catches sight of her trying to get over the guiding waves. Her hair is stuck to her face in places, wet with blood, and angry red scratches from the sand covering any exposed skin. Her dark brown eyes met his again, the fire and steel still in them, and they look so bright even far away. She's a mess and in this brief span of time, this snippet of eternity, Gaara sees Akira as she's always been. She is a mess of loyalty and kindness, of promises and metal. Gaara is glad for the snippet, for the minute moment of reprieve, because as his head pounds he finds it easier now to push her away harder. Akira calls for him again as Shukaku relentlessly attacks his psyche with everything he has, and Gaara can't focus, can't do much more in this losing fight if he is worried about Akira.

"YOU HAVE TO! Run! Please!" She pauses a moment, at the desperation in his voice, at the look in his eyes as the black slowly fully consumes his left eye. She looks like she wants to say something but then she turns, running into the trees, into safety.

Akira runs into the woods, letting the fear drive her faster and farther away, and doesn't care about any branches that claw at her. Doesn't care about the scratches on her face from the sand and the thorns that pull at her clothes. Her arms are pumping at her sides as her mind spins while Gaara screams follow her. Her feet pound hard against the forest floor, her breath loud in her ears and her legs feel weightless. She hears one last cry she as jumps into the branches, hears how it changes midway into something more animalistic, into more of a roar than anything, and she shudders. She doesn't look back as she runs, doesn't see the haunting yellow eyes following her.

She can feel them just fine, and they drive her farther away.

* * *

She runs until her throat burns, until she _has_ to stop as she collapses against the trunk of a tree. High in the canopy of emerald leaves.

Her wrist is sore as fuck.

Her breath is coming out half in shaky sobs, and the other half in pants. She leans harder against the tree, a bloody hand against the rough bark, and she knows she needs to calm down. Knows she needs composure.

But she can't seem to grasp it as her breathing gets harsher. She curls in on herself, head between her legs as she pants, and sobs and feels herself breaking. Akira closes her eyes and counts her heartbeats, hysteria is close at hand, and she can't afford to panic.

She can hear some rustling behind her. Can hear Shukaku as he hunts her in the forest and all she can do is sit here and shake and cry because she _has failed._

All this talk of helping him. Of making this promise, and she has no idea what she has done wrong with the jutsu. No one to help her.

She presses a hand to her mouth, trying to keep quiet, and feels tears prickle at her eyes. Panic and hysteria, she could dispel with breathing exercises. She doesn't know how to combat despair.

She is going to die here.

"Squeak?"

Akira blinks, half-startled and half-worried she's hallucinating, from the little noise in her ear and turns to see Chizu on her shoulder.

"W-what are you d-doing here?" she asks surprised as Chizu points to the blood on the tree with her little paw. Akira blinks surprised and sinks a little lower. She hadn't even realized she had summoned the little mouse.

"I'm sorry-." She's cut off as Chizu squeaks again, and scampers down to Akira's hand, now in her lap. She pulls on Akira's finger looking at her worried. Akira blinks and hears ground give way, as a tree nearby starts to shake violently. Leaves spiral down it in a flurry of movement. She sucks in breath, fear and adrenaline hitting her, before quickly scooping up the little mouse and taking off. She lost enough chakra that she doesn't have much to conceal as she hides quickly just as the tree she was on is torn loose from the ground.

Below amidst a swirl of destructive sand, Shukaku scans a tree, effortlessly turning it around and upside down almost lazily as he hold the one Akira was once on to the side. Akira feels her jaw unhinge, her eyes widen and her muscles tense again, as he tosses the tree he had ripped up away, as though a child disregarding a toy in favor of the one he holds. She watches as he takes a deep breath and grins. He can smell the blood from the girl, and when he sees the hand print smiles even wider, more sadistic.

Akira watches his face change, catches sight of the dark stain of blood on the tree, and quickly makes the connection. She swears under her breath as she strips free of her layers until she is only in her bindings. She quickly checks her clothes and deciding that her vest is really the only one not terribly soaked, she zips it up. She glances towards Shukaku, seeing as he now slowly stalking towards their general direction and she gulps slightly relieved. It appears he couldn't pinpoint their exact location, and she bundles the clothes and moves her arm up, ready to throw to lead him away.

Chizu squeaks in protest as Akira looks at her frantically before looking back at Shukaku who is turned in another direction. Akira lets out a huff of air, relieved before making sure Chizu is secure and dashing off again, clothes under her arm. "Well what is your plan?" she asks in a quiet huff as the little mouse touches her chin in thought.

When they land again Chizu scrambles down, her scroll out and quickly writes a kanji on the paper. Akira blinks seeing it and shakes her head.

"Chizu I already tried that jutsu. It didn't work, I fucked it up." She laments softly but Chizu merely shakes her head and carefully tears the kanji out of the scroll.

Akira watches as Chizu strikes a little paw out in front of her with the kanji facing out. She looks at Akira, pretends to sign, and does the motion again. Akira's jaw goes slack in disbelief and a part of her wants to scream at her stupidity. She tries to be rational and give herself some credit but can't muster any. She only just mastered her mother's cancelling techniques and had only trained a handful of weeks for this new one.

"I'm a complete dumbass." She mutters numbly as Chizu winces but nods nonetheless.

Akira lets out a shaky breath and rubs at her face, she feels the slightly dried blood smear under her fingers. Her wrist is still sore but it was manageable. When she looks at Chizu again she gives a hard nod. She knew where she went wrong. Knew what she had to do now and closes her eyes.

She has a fighting chance, if she can just get a plan to go right.

"Ok, so he can smell the blood on the clothes. I'm sure he thinks I showed my hand, but he doesn't know that I have you." She smiles at Chizu, grateful for the little mouse who puffs under the compliment. "Will you please make some of mom's cancelling seals?" Chizu nods, she knew all of Kana's seals by heart after training with the woman. Akira bites into a soldier's pill and is careful to hide the new wave of charka as it washes over her along with hope.

She can still keep her promise if all goes right.

"Ok I'll give you a run down of the plan, nod if you agree." Chizu nods as she works, and Akira's go up to her head, redoing her ponytail, securing her growing hair. "And Chizu?" the little mouse pauses and looks at Akira who smiles despite being so completely rattled earlier. "Thank you. I couldn't do this without your help." Chizu nods and despite the fur Akira swears she can see a blush.

* * *

Shukaku could smell her as he stalks the forest in a leisurely pace. He stands upon a swirly mass of snapping destroying sand lazily tossing trees like twigs. He could smell the slowly drying blood on her clothes and skin, and he smiles. He's toying with her, really, going at this pace. If he really wanted her dead, he could easily sink this whole forest into a desert and crush her that way. But no. He wants to try and savor this. He wants her to try and save Gaara.

It'll be so much more satisfying to kill her up close. To make Gaara see _everything._

He tilts Gaara's head back and breathes deeply through his nose. Shukaku must channel chakra to it since his own body is trapped but it works well enough to get her scent. He turns towards it now, and after a moment grins.

"I will find you. I will kill you. Are you really that stupid that you think running will work? Do you still intend to save him? He was never your friend. He never felt anything towards you. He wanted to. Badly enough that he couldn't see it was fake." He can't help up chuckle at his own cruelty as he touches down on the forest floor. "He thought growing close to you. That it would help his loneliness. But instead," he touches a tree that stinks of blood lightly as sand quickly covers it, sinking beneath the bark, deep into all the crevices it could and hardens. "It just helped me in the end." He finishes as the tree explodes but Akira doesn't fall out. He merely turns taking another breath and keeps moving.

He's getting closer.

"I know you can't do anything useful. Gaara might not know what your whore of a mother can do, but I do. And I would recognize it if you could do anything remotely like her." He's on top of her now. He can smell the blood strongly here. Can practically taste the fear on Gaara's tongue as he smiles. "You are nothing. Can do nothing. But," he pauses as his sand snakes up the tree. Silent and terrible, deadly and strong. "Die.

The tree is torn to pieces and ribbons of fabric, soaked with blood, rain down. Shukaku narrows his eyes as he sees this and frowns.

"You're right." He hears and glances behind him. Sand swirls around him, ready. "I'm nothing like her." He turns to the side, the direction changing as he tenses and lowers. "But I know enough to stop you!" she yells, and he realizes how she misdirected him.

Three Akiras' jump from the trees launching toward him and he merely smirks at her stupidity.

She has come to face him. To fight against her inevitable butcher.

The sand swirling around his feet snaps up as he spreads his arms out, fingers splayed toward the direction of the two facing most toward him. Sand lashes out hitting them hard in the stomach and the throat. He grins sickly as the clones give off a 'pop' and he hears a grunt behind him. Sand snakes its way around Akira's wrists, cuffing them together before slamming her into a tree. She coughs, blood coming to her lips as Shukaku walks up to where she hangs. It's vibrant on her lips compared to the dark red dried version that speckles her face. She squirms a moment against the sand, feet braced against the bark, but it's useless.

"You really think that would work against the Great and Mighty Shukaku!?" he laughs, and he leans forward, close enough that he doesn't need chakra to smell the blood on her lips.

"No," she says softly her voice rough and raspy from the hit. "But I know you want to watch me die." He snorts leaning back. He doesn't miss the tremble in her arms, or the way her breathing is strained to be even.

"Right. I'll give you that." He hits her throat again hard as he grips it, pressing hard against her windpipe as she coughs and struggles to gasp.

"A-and I-I know," she grunts out as he raises a brow letting up a little. "That it will be your downfall." He tilts his head to the side, a smirk on his lips.

He has her by the throat, trapped. Gaara is suppressed and can see everything happening. He's won. "And how will it be my downfall?" he taunts letting up on her windpipe as she gasps while fingernails dig into the flesh. Letting her know that she was still at his mercy.

"Because you missed the mouse on my shoulder." Shukaku's brows furrow, and he scans her shoulders but it's too late.

Chizu presses a small piece of paper against the sand where Akira is hanging, and he feels a wave of chakra being poured into his sand. It's strange and different and _suffocating._ His tenses at the feeling knowing it belongs to this girl as his sand falls from around her wrists. The hand gripping Akira's throat is jerked back as Gaara slips through his grasp, making his body freeze and Akira leaps forward, tackling him into the ground.

He hits it hard, can feel Akira's body clamoring over his and his head rings from being slammed, from Gaara gaining some control, back aching from the ground and gourd, still in disbelief.

He lost the control over his sand.

This girl has broken through his ultimate defense.

And Gaara managed to slip through his grasp.

He looks up at her where she has him pinned, half on his side due to the gourd, and can only watch in horror as she signs quickly and presses a seal over his forehead. She is bloody, sweaty and disgusting and he withers under her, but it is too late.

Shukaku watches Akira's bloody lips as she pushes chakra into Gaara's body and shouts.

"Seal Reinforcement Jutsu!"

Gaara's eyes roll to the back of his head as Shukaku is forced back, but not without collateral, and Akira slumps forward, unconscious. Chizu scrambles over, securing the seal that threatens to flutter off before sitting back on her haunches.

Now all she could do is wait.

* * *

Something isn't right when Akira wakes up. It's dark outside and the sand under her feels different than normal. She presses against it, trying to sit up but only sinking further against the rough sand, and tries to see anything against the darkness. No constellations peak out, no source of light. Just sand and darkness. Akira lets out a shaky breath, unease filling her as she once again tries to scan around. She and Gaara were on mission, she had tried to seal Shukaku, but now they were in the desert? Akira goes to move, to stand when sand latches onto her limbs like ropes, one tendril covers her mouth before she can call out. Fear fills her as she feels the sand wrapping around her, begin to drag her down underneath the blanket, down past the darkness and she strains to be free.

It pulls her down, down, down and she feels tears leak out as she closes her eyes against the sand as it pours over her face.

Her lungs burn with the effort not to breath it in, she's still being pulled down underneath the sand. Her body is shaking, and she can't stop the tears but she waits. Something is pulling her down, and she will _not_ go easily. She feels the sand give way on her legs first, feels it lighten on her arms, and then she's stopped, and no longer blind, and suffocating as sand unwraps from her mouth. She gasps and she desperately drinks in air, coughing as she sits on her knees and jerks away when something brushes her shoulder.

"It's me. Come on." She relaxes slightly at Gaara's voice before whipping around.

Cyan colored eyes meet hers, and she stares a moment relief hitting her before suspicion as her eyes narrow.

"How do I know-?"

"Your brother shoved you through a glass door once." He says hurriedly as Akira lets out a shaky breath, wanting to throw her arms around his neck but stops herself. Now isn't the time as she crosses her arms.

"Ok. Good enough." She mutters still uneasy, confused, and unsure about this whole situation before looking around and jerking back with surprise.

It's her room.

Akira feels her jaw slacken once again as she turns around in the room slowly. First a dark endless desert, and now here? She glances at the books and pauses, only some of them have titles. Some of them seem blank, and as she looks around she notices other details messing. The scratches in her bed post, the dents in her desk, and she realizes this place is her room, but _not._

"Wha-?" she doesn't have a chance to ask as Gaara shoves her shoulder hard. "Hey!" she shouts instead as she looks at him surprised and hurt.

His brow is furrowed, and his jaw is tense with anger when he glares at her. "I told you to run. I told you to get away!"

"Yeah I know but you don't get to shove me!" she says hitting him back as he stumbles surprised and now even more annoyed. Sand slides against her bedroom floor but doesn't rise, doesn't do much more as Akira watches tense. "I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Chizu, and I made you a promise!"

"That promise was made based lies and misdirection!" he hisses, "You owe me nothing! I tried to get you away from me for a reason!" he stops for a second seething, his chest heaving and his eyes narrowed tightly. Akira is expecting him to scream, to shake her, to do _something._ It's the most upset she's ever really seen him and she isn't sure what she is expecting but it certainly isn't him falling onto her bed with a huff of defeat.

Gaara instead seems to curl in on himself, as though he was just hit in the gut as he looks at her, guilt, terror, and sadness in his mint eyes. "I almost killed you, Akira. I almost killed you, and you're still fighting even after- after it was all a lie." He gulps hard as he looks down and away from her, and for the first time Akira sees Gaara's eyes water. "I didn't want to see you hurt, and knowing now that this was a lie..." he trails off as Akira stares in disbelief.

"You really believe him?" she asks quietly after a moment sliding down next to him. The setting, the events going on are still surreal, still weird and different but she has to get through to Gaara before moving on.

"It wouldn't be the first time he manipulated me. And besides," he looks at her with hard cold eyes, his lashes still wet. "I am a monster, how could I ever feel anything for you, unless it was faked?"

Akira jerks back, it wasn't a jab at her, not really, and she understands that. But for him to doubt himself, to think he is this much of a monster.

"If this is fake, if Shukaku is right, then why are you so upset by the news?" she asks, and he freezes for a moment. "Even if he was manipulating you, is manipulating you, there is enough realness to fight for. And I know this because," she moves to kneel in front of him when he looks away from her. But his eyes are still down in his lap as she speaks. "Because I know that Shukaku doesn't have a favorite mug with swirls on it. You do. I know he doesn't drink bitter savory tea. You do. I know that he doesn't know my brother's name, my favorite place in Konoha, or even has the patience to learn those things. Gaara, you do." She moves to a stand and Gaara's eyes don't follow. She huffs in irritation. "And Shukaku doesn't give two shits about the Suna, you do! And if you still think everything was fake then fine. But it was real for me. All of it. And you," she huffs again, finally fed up with his not listening, not looking at her. So, she reaches for him before he can realize it, hands sliding over his cheeks bringing his head up before roughing gripping the back of it, forcing his forehead to collide with hers. Pain bursts in his mind a moment, before he blinks it away surprised at her actions and at her expression.

Brown eyes look like fire in the soft yellow light, and tears well in them as she looks at him. "You are still my best friend. And I'm not going anywhere without you." She finishes, voice soft between them and he can feel her breath on his face. Her grip goes soft as well as her eyes as the tears finally trickle down, fingers sinking into his hair.

Gaara stares at her shocked and reaches for her before he realizes it as he wipes away a tear, cupping her face. She smiles weakly and leans into the touch as he sighs.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I know." She places a hand over his, and sighs, "Where are we?" she asks. She knows she shouldn't ask now, should save it for later since it won't help them leave. But they both need a moment.

Gaara pulls back as Akira sits next to him. A part of him is still reeling from her words, her actions as he speaks. "When Shukaku takes over, he tries to keep me trapped. I made a place he cannot access. It changes sometimes. But usually it is a place where I feel..." he pauses before looking at her. "Comfort."

Akira blinks and feels her cheeks heat. "I'm glad I give you that." she gives him something of a smile. "Now," she says grabbing one of his hands that have settled in his lap. "Will you help me get us out of here?" she gives another half-smile when he nods, and she takes a breath.

"Ok, we need a plan, so let's start with what we know." She says. "The jutsu I used is intended to help strengthen the seal it is used on. Usually, from my understanding, you use the jutsu on a seal, and then touching the seal can reinforce whatever the seal was intended for. Sort of like an added support." She explains as Gaara interlaces his fingers and leans forward, thinking. "All we have to do is touch the seal now, and I'm assuming Shukaku dragged me in here to kill me. But," she looks at him a light in her eyes. "we can use that to our advantage." She sighs as Gaara groans.

"No wonder you get injured on so many missions." She blinks at him surprised as he looks back at her, his mouth quirking up a little as she smiles at him fully then.

"Let's discuss this further then, if you're insistent on being bait."

* * *

Gaara notices Akira flinch from the sand as they travel up and fights the feeling of guilt in his gut. It isn't his fault he reasons, as he looks up at the dark mass against the void with steel in his eyes.

This isn't his fault.

He isn't the monster.

He feels Akira squeeze his hand and he squeezes back.

Shukaku looms over them, almost indistinguishable against the void behind him, but Gaara has had practice picking out his form over the years. Akira squints and blinks next to him straining, she grips his hand a little harder as the sand under their feet starts to stir.

"Hold on." Gaara says pulling her closer, their arms brushing, just as a wave of sand rushes them and he steps forward, raising his arm with the motion as he lets his own sand rise in combat.

His own sand slices through the wave, crashing through it, just as a blinding piercing light is turned on. Shukaku chuckles hauntingly where he stands as the light dims to a soft glow while both Gaara and Akira cry out from sudden blindness and pain. Shukaku barely moves as sand circles back around and hits the duo from behind. Sinking them into the torrent of sand.

They are clinging to each other's hands, finger straining to keep their grip as Shukaku snorts.

"Time for your funeral, girl." He growls and smiles as sand starts to encase her. He's amused at the look of terror as tendrils draw themselves up her body, over her face, arms, legs. It's almost a laughable sight to him, as Gaara watches with a horrified look at the sand that wraps around Akira's face and arm her lone uncovered eye widening in fear. Gaara tries to act, squeezes her hand tighter and moves his sand to stop the tendrils, to prevent her death. Gaara and her share a single look a fractions of a second as the tendrils stop.

But it isn't enough.

Shukaku laughs as Akira is crushed, head caving in, arms being torn in half before Gaara's eyes.

And disappears in a 'poof' as smoke drifts out between his trap.

Shukaku blinks reeling back in surprise for only a second when Akira bursts through the sand on the other side of him. He feels kunai sink into his side, but he barely registers the tiny pin-pricks of pain as he roars in annoyance at her being _alive._

Akira leaps back and into the air as sand shoots upward into a spiraling tornado. Shukaku focuses on her now, wanting to kill her as he makes towers and walls of sand to try and slam into her.

"Akira!" Gaara calls out rushing his own sand to her aid as she lands on it safely and is taken higher away from the cascades of sand while Shukaku growls.

She signs quickly, fingers flying as she kneels on the moving mass needing to focus on her chakra as Shukaku's sand finally reaches her. It spills over Gaara's sand forcing his down as she's dragged back onto the desert floor. Tendrils wraps themselves around her ankles, forcing her put, to finally die. Akira feels the sand dig into her skin, feels the tiny pinpricks of blood that start to rise where it grips her. She's almost to the bottom and fear prickles in her heart as it looms ever closer. But Gaara's sand which has been fighting back against Shukaku's, has slowed it down just enough to allow her to finish as she feels the hair on her arms start to rise and feels the familiar pinprick of energy as she cries out, "Lightening Burst Jutsu!"

Lightening streaks out from her hands slowly her impact and turning the tendrils to glass. She flips backwards lands on her feet lightening crackling off her skin where she stands. Shukaku moves a paw to slam into her, _to get rid of this annoying ass pest_ when she dashes away, the electricity surrounding her, and giving her some cover as sand races to catch up. The sand under her feet smokes and shards of glass come away with each step. Shukaku glares, paw still raised, and starts to turn back to where Gaara is, back so he can mock him when he kills this bitch, when sudden blinding pain hits him from the side and he roars. He whirls back around to see Akira running past and wonders just how she had hit him when she raises an arm up and points towards him still running. Lightening arches away from her, brilliant in this light, before hitting the kunai she had sunk into his side. The kunai he had ignored.

Akira runs sliding on the sand, just skirting past his paw, and feels the rough course sand under her hands. She shifts and points at Shukaku again letting the electricity in her veins spill out toward the kunai she threw at him. She turns away running again and for a moment feels bad about destroying some of Gaara's sand. Shukaku's sand felt course, cold, and suffocating, while Gaara's sand felt soft, almost like a comfort, and warmed by the sun.

Shukaku roars "Fucking die already!" before summoning a giant wall of sand then, to finally, _finally,_ kill this annoying bitch. Akira pauses wide-eyed, fear tangible in those dark eyes, the fire and steel before gone as she stares at the massive wave of sand. Of death.

"Gaara!" she calls out worried, scared, as she spins on heel and tries to run away. Shukaku turns back to Gaara ready to achieve his victory, ready to taunt and smirk.

Just in time to see Gaara get to the seal behind him and slam his hand over it.

Shukaku's eyes widen as the gate behind him opens, and Gaara, standing before it on his own sand, dives down quickly as something flies out and Shukaku roars. Heavy golden chains with bright white paper seals hanging off, wrap around his body, arms, legs. He fights, squirming, howling against them to the best of his abilities. The chains tighten with every movement, every lunge he makes. He's the Great and Mighty Shukaku. The One Tailed Beast of Suna. The chains don't care who he is though as they begin dragging him back behind the gate. Back into his cage where he will truly be trapped. No memories to warp, no thoughts to twist. Just a chakra vessel _at_ _best_.

His claws try and find traction, but sand slides and gives way like water. He spots Gaara and Akira standing together over in what they think is safety, once more holding hands, clinging to each other against the sight of him. He sees red and stops fighting the chains as he thrashes to get closer to the two. If he's going behind the gate, he will _not_ go alone if he can help it. Shukaku roars as he slams himself into the ground, just inches away from them. Claws so tantalizingly close when Akira pulls Gaara further back, shoving herself between the two of them, as Shukaku shrieks once more when he realizes he can't reach them. He roars and thrashes until the gates close with a thud and his screams seem to echo and haunt them as Gaara and Akira stare.

They manage a glance at each other before the seal on the gate shines brightly before intensifying, blinding them, forcing them to turn away as everything goes to black.

* * *

It isn't darkness but a beautiful bright blue sky that Akira blinks awake to; her body feels battered but otherwise she's alive. She lets out a sigh of relief and moves to sit up and reach for Gaara. She's sure her tackle probably injured him and they should get to cover soon-.

Her shoulders are barely off the ground, her arm already moving towards where Gaara is supposed to be, when a hand clamps around her throat and shoves her back down her eyes closing and wincing from the impact. She smacks at the arm with her reaching hand, and tries to buck, to get away but it's iron on her throat. She feels a body press against hers, pining her as she claws at the hand on her throat. Her eyes squint open-.

Yellow diamond eyes bore into hers as Shukaku snarls morphing Gaara's features once again. His teeth are edged, sharp and pointed and she can feel his breath on her skin.

"You're not winning this unscratched." He growls Gaara' s eyes wide and crazed as the hand on her throat tightens, his thumb on her windpipe crushing, his other hand pressing her arm down, not caring about the one scratching at Gaara's arm. "I get the last word." Akira barely gets out a straggle cry as his other hand comes up over her face. Her own trying and failing to stop it. It presses hard against her nose, and face and she can see his eyes, behind Gaara's fingers and she watches as he snarls a command, feels warm chakra pool in the palm over her face.

"Undo."

Shukaku watches with glee as her eyes roll to the back of her head as chakra slams into her head, her mind, and she spasms and shakes. He moves his hand from her throat as she struggles to gasp, to breath. She drinks it in desperately, her eyes still rolled, her body still shaking and he moves off and crouches near. He watches as she stills a moment, as her eyes come into focus just for a moment and she takes in another wild gasp. When she gets enough air, Akira screams, terrible, bloodcurdling, haunting and it soothes Shukaku as he is dragged back into the recesses of Gaara's mind and Gaara's body falls to the side. Back behind his gate, alone, but pleased nonetheless.

Akira goes unconscious besides Gaara, and Shukaku rejoices.

They might have caged him, contained him for now.

But he has won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Choice: Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back by My Chemical Romance gave birth to this scene. When I first heard this song, my playlist was on shuffle, I wasn't even thinking of this story when I heard this song and just HAD to write this scene. It is partially the reason this story is so fleshed out now, and is growing quite nicely. Almost everything is planned if I don't think of better scenes. But yes this song inspired this scene, and originally it was Gaara who fought Shukaku while Akira saved him. I thought it was more fitting if he saved himself. But once again sorry (not sorry) for the little cliffhanger.
> 
> Also I just want to address, Shukaku is terribly cocky, and was playing with Akira and she just had to distract him until the seal was touched. If she fought him one on one for a length of time, she would die. Both times she had help, and both times were running out the clock. Just wanted to state that I tried to get the results I wanted while keeping everything in the realm of reason.
> 
> Also updates will be a little longer now since I want to have a buffer of chapters. I am currently writing Chapter 15, still have to edit 13 and only just finished 14, and with finishing up my last year of undergrad it's been a ride.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time!


	13. when the party's over

A beautiful twilight sky and a soft breeze greet her when she opens her eyes. Her head pounds with a throbbing pain and for a moment she can only think about the ache in her body, can only see bright white stars of pain with each blink. With a groan, she sits up, feeling the dirt shift under her fingers as she moves, there are clumps of it clinging to her vest and pants. Her throat hurts. Her wrist is in fucking agony. She swallows hard, and her eyes water from the pain even that simple movement brings. She looks around confused, trees encircle her and she-.

Where is she? She tries to remember but her mind is slow, sluggish, and pulsing with a headache. She presses dirt covered fingers to her temples trying to relieve some of the pain.

She looks down at her clothes, a thick tan vest, and pants. Blood caked on them. She freezes.

Whose blood is that?

She presses fingers to her vest, noticing the mesh armor underneath. Confusion races through her as she shifts and feels a heavy weight against her right leg. Her weapons, she realizes dully before blinking and wincing as her head throbs.

Who... is she?

She looks up startled when she hears a squeak and sees a tiny brown mouse rush forward. The mouse looks at her with big brown eyes, and a headband with an hourglass like symbol in it. She stares at the mouse a moment before a jarring sharp pain between her eyes flares white hot.

'A taller woman with dark violet hair. Blood on her thumb and a scroll on the counter. " _Here is your first summons. Her name is Chizu, she'll take good care of you, Akira._ " There is a soft smile, a nod and the mouse on the counter jumps up with a squeak and a peace symbol. She sees her own name written on the scroll: Akira Sato.'

She blinks hard, tears prickling in the corners of her eyes as she gasps hard, chest heaving as she desperately sucks down oxygen. She looks at the little mouse- Chizu with surprise.

"You're-you're my summons, I'm a shinobi... my name is Akira Sato." She huffs pieces clicking together in her mind. The little mouse nods and her eyes dart away from Akira before looking back quietly. Akira blinks confused and surprised at the little mouses movements. She slowly turns around.

She sees him then.

Bright red hair, dark eyelids, and a red scar on the side of his forehead. He looks almost peaceful with his closed dark eyes, slumped on his side and small against his gourd. But Akira blinks at him, dazed still, as she scans his body quickly.

Was he breathing?... Was that blood?

She scrambles, heart jumping into her throat when she catches sight of the now darken red speckles on his face. She quickly undoes the collar on his coat, fingers pressing against his throat and counting his pulse.

She only pulls back after checking his vitals, seeing that there is hardly any wounds on him, and carefully wiping blood off his face to the best of her abilities.

She sits back on her heels and stares at him.

Who the hell is he?

And how can she still remember how to check vitals but not _his name?_

She looks down at her hands, dirty, rough, calloused, with sturdy fat fingers and nails bitten down. They didn't look like shinobi hands, and less like a healers. Yet the worry, the panic, she felt at seeing him unconsciousness had been real. The more she stares at his face, blood splattered and exhausted looking, the harder it is to figure out who he is.

She pauses a moment, still at the possibility that her worry for him, is for a different reason.

Slowly she reaches for a kunai.

Chizu squeaks racing up the boy and holds out her paws, signaling Akira to stop.

"…. He's my teammate?" Akira asks softly as Chizu nods and she sighs, relief hitting her as she looks at the boy again. "I need to find shelter for us then. I-I don't have any memories and I'm getting very close to running out of chakra. Will you look for a place for us please?" the tiny mouse nods and rushes away quickly.

Akira heaves a sigh, trying to breath out her new frustration at not know _anything_ about the situation she is in now. Just knowing that she is a shinobi, the boy next to her is her teammate and-. She pauses looking him over again, what the hell is with the gourd? She sighs again, bubbling with irritation before she moves unbuckling the boys vest. She carefully works him away from the giant gourd, pushing and pulling his body as gently as she can. She'll come back for it later. She lifts him up with a struggle, his stupid coat flaps getting in the way for most of it and her body aches in protest as she heaves him on her back. He's so damn heavy to carry, but they must get to safety and out of this area, she pointedly refuses to look at the dead bodies surrounding them and fights off a shudder at the carnage. She manages to get his limp body onto her back with a bit more force than intended. She makes a note to herself to check his head once she regains more chakra. He hasn't given any hints to waking yet, and Akira being rougher than intended in getting him on her back certainly should have done _something_ to the boy.

She struggles to walk with the weight on her back, making her bow forward more than she likes, but Chizu is back soon waving her arms to follow her, and Akira does.

The cave she has found is blissfully close, but is also quite a ways uphill and Akira looks at it with dread in her gut. She glances at the boy, whose head is resting limply against her shoulder, his breath on her neck and she lets out a hard sigh. She feels her chest involuntary tighten at the sight of the boy, resting uneasily on her shoulder and she shifts him a little with a heavy sigh. He hasn't moaned or moved much but his breathing is still even, still deep and warm on her skin from him now nestled in the crook of her neck.

Whoever he is, he better he damn grateful when he wakes up, she thinks as she struggles up the hill.

Her breath is coming in short pants when she finally gets to the cave. The vest is cutting into her arms and the boy seems to weigh even more now. Her legs shake from the effort and she's feels like she's drenched in sweat. She smiles a little at the mouth of the cave, it's dark, empty and not damp surprisingly. It'll do for now as she takes a step and collapses.

"Fuck!" she hisses, her chin bouncing off the cavern floor as she takes majority of the fall. Careful to keep the redhead from hitting the floor as hard as she did. Unfortunately now though, he's pressed against her uncomfortably. She was already warm before; his added body heat only making it worse. Akira shoves him off rougher than intended and she winces a little when he flops to the side.

"Sorry." She croaks as she lays panting on the cool cave floor as Chizu squeaks. Her large brow eyes worried as her little pink nose twitches at Akira.

"I'm fine. Just... exhausted... and I can't remember anything... but other than that," she swallows hard, trying to even out her breath, damning the hill outside. "You can go Chizu. I don't have enough chakra to keep you much longer." Chizu looks at her worried a moment before nodding once.

She waves almost sadly before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Akira watches the smoke drift away, resting her head against the cavern floor enjoying the stone sapping her of her warmth for a moment. She pushes herself up after a moment and rolls her head around, stretching her stiff neck, before looking over at the boy.

"Ok... you're out as fuck," she says as she crawls over to him. "Let's see what you have on you."

* * *

After patting the boy down, (and realizing she really should have asked Chizu for his name), Akira takes stock of the inventory, swallows some pain pills and after an irritating round of throbbing headaches and massaging her sore jaw, quickly fumbles over setting up traps and a cover for the cave. She looks over their provisions, their mission scroll, other supplies and pulls out her own empty scroll.

"Ok, so my name is Akira Sato, I went on mission with you over a week ago, and your still out but your fine, and that's fine. I know from the map we're from Suna, and I know… your important to me." Her eyes travel over to him as he sleeps, and she stares a moment before turning away. The worry at seeing him so still bothers her more than it should. Her head still hurts, and her mind is a mess but the few facts she knows in her bones are true assure her. She quickly writes down what she remembers, hoping to keep track of it for now and trying to shove the small nagging doubt of her not being _entirely_ sure if what she remembers is true.

The memory that sprang out before is clear enough. Her headband with the village symbol is enough.

And her reaction at seeing the boy injured despite not knowing his name still, is enough too.

Now if only he would wake up so she could stop talking to an unconscious person... that would be _fantastic_.

She wishes the scroll had his name on it. She had only found her own mission scroll and it is normal that they don't state teammates. If they are captured and the scroll is found by an enemy, it is safer to keep basic information like names out of them. Akira sighs hard and quickly changes, throwing on a black long-sleeved shirt she found in the boy's things under her vest. She reasons he won't mind her wearing it since she doesn't remember anything and even if it's too big, it'll do for now. She tries not to think that the smell is familiar and comforting in a way that involuntarily makes her chest flutter and her muscles relax, she still needs to find water. She looks at the boy one more time before checking her traps and carefully heading off.

* * *

It's a real honest harder struggle to get his stupid heavy ass gourd into the cave than it was him, but she manages. When she's done though she sits down taking a longer break since she will only have to travel out of the cave once more as she pants. She can't help but shoot the boy a glare though. Did he really have to carry a giant damn gourd of fucking sand everywhere? Couldn't he carry a travel sized one? He just had to bring one almost bigger than her. She is grateful at having stripped him of his armored vest. She realized coming back for the gourd she could have left the vest in place, but after adjusting it just enough to fit over her own vest, wearing it had helped her get the damned thing back here. She quickly unbuckles the vest, letting the gourd hit the ground with a heavy thud before shoving it closer to the boy. She had placed him away from the entrance, tucked against the wall with a thermal blanket thrown over him, and was glad to find him safe and warm as she had left him.

Akira sighs as she leans against the cave wall and looks at the boy, her face softening. He is handsome, and his coloring are quite complementary of one another, but she still doesn't recognize him too much. She eyes his scar, bright red against pale skin, the slope of his nose regal and straight. His jaw square but still round from youth. He is familiar in a vague sense but that is as much thought as she's willing to give it.

She hasn't tried to think about him too much, or about who she is anymore than she already has. It would be a lie if she wasn't rattled. Deep down she's scared, and she doesn't know where they are. Just knows that to the east of them is a clearing with dead bodies strewn about and that isn't a place she wants to go back to. Besides it hurt too much to try and remember now, and she needs to keep her wits about her in order to keep them safe. Now is not the time she reasons and also gives a half-ass excuse that the pain pills just started working as she rolls her head stretching out her neck again. A part of her is worried though that she won't ever remember if she doesn't try soon. She moves to a stand, hands shaking as she grabs the water container, and heads out.

Akira races into the forest, quickly and carefully as she moves soundlessly through the woods. She takes some peace in the familiarity of moving through the woods, in the muscle memories of leaping from branch to branch. She stops when she finally finds a small pool of water. She fills the container scanning for any other ninjas and is careful to purify it before turning to head back.

Until she sees something out of the corner of her eye.

She spins around, kunai out, and her stance low, her heart thunderous in her chest. She scans the trees and lets out a shaky breath before inching closer to the waters edge. She looks down into the clear pool before jumping in alarm.

A dark-eyed girl stares back at her, choppy dark hair tied back loosely and a headband covering her forehead. There are scratches on her face, cuts on her lips, and dark finger shaped bruises on her neck. She looks ragged, shaken and hurt. The girl blinks along with her and Akira jerks back.

It's her reflection.

She stares at herself a moment longer, before letting out a shaky breath.

She hadn't even recognized herself. A sick feeling of worry spreads in her and she turns running away quickly back to the cave.

She almost trips the trap, throwing herself inside the cave and she presses herself against the wall shaking. Now isn't the time, but the fear leaves her muscles in an uncomfortable mix of quaking and frozen. She wants to remember but the thought of an outside threat, and the mind-numbing pain with remembering gives her pause. She can't afford to fuck up now, with her chakra being so low and her ally unconscious in the corner of the fucking cave. But there hadn't been any enemies around, she hadn't sensed anything at the waters edge.

Panic still fills her as she shakily brings the canteen to her lips, swallowing a gulp. She shuffles over to the boy brushing back his hair gently before tilting his head up. She makes him drink slowly, before softly resting his head back down. She glances at him again and wonders what kind of mission they were on. She doesn't even know if they completed it, how long she was out for and... Maybe it's better to remember something isn't it? Thinking about the boy, the mission and what attacked them would be useful insight, she reasons. She glances at the redhead and bites her lip. A part of her is glad he's still sleeping, he looks tired, but another part of her wishes he could wake up and tell her who she is now.

"Ok I- We need to get back home. I need to know what attacked us, and you're not waking up." She says as she rubs her hands on her faces and lets out another sigh. She needs to stop sighing so much, it won't help, she thinks as she shifts to sit cross-legged next to him.

She can't explain why she wants to brush the hair away from his face some more, to scan him over once again because she's so terribly worried over him. She looks at him, at his dark eyelids, and bright red hair, and she wishes his mint eyes would just open-.

She pauses, did she... did she remember his eye color just now?

Akira let's out a startled cry as her vision goes dark for a moment at the intense pain in her head. Her jaw clenches as she tries to breathe through the pain.

'Soft light illuminates a quiet room, two mugs on a table their steam intermingling in the air, gentle fingers brushing through her hair, then mint eyes looking at her a light in them she hasn't seen before. She's safe here, with him, in the quiet.'

Akira let's out choppy pants and huffs as the pain resides slightly and she feels her cheeks burn from the memory. Her heart skips a beat with a hard thud, and she clears her throat. A mix of embarrassment and warmth fill her as she lets out a soft huff of air.

It's a good thing Chizu told her they were teammates, she tries to think, to distract herself. Akira shakes her head and eases herself into a meditative seat deciding to follow through on trying to remember. She takes another breath and thinks about mint eyes and quiet nights, and when the pain comes this time she forces steady breaths and tries to relax.

'Their shoulders are pressed against each other, she's pointing at a constellation and he tilts his head closer to hers. She moves and when their eyes meet she smiles, happy, relaxed. He gives her something akin to a small smile but not quite. She feels his name on her tongue as she moves to sit up, to get some tea. _"Gaara do you want anything?"_ He shakes his head.'

'Gaara and the violet haired woman again, dark red fruit that bursts on her tongue in a bite of sour and sweet. She's laughing when her and the boy- Gaara -eat it all. The dark violet haired woman laughs with them and hands them another fruit. _"Thanks momma!" "Anytime Akira."_ A smile and then… distance? in soft lavender eyes.'

'She's sinking into the sand with every step. It's hard to walk on without chakra and she frowns. She looks at the violet haired- her mother -and she sighs. She knows why Suna, knows because of _him._ '

'Trees where falling, her wrist aches, and she is scared. Heart pounding fear, her hands shaking, her legs _aching_ to run, and she rises unsteady. Yellow diamond eyes are seared into her mind.'

'Gaara is grunting over the sink, worry fills her. _"Hey are you-?"_ she stops short as yellow diamond eyes look back. Shukaku.'

'He's chasing her in the forest. He can smell her blood. Chizu stops her before she throws her clothes and the little brown mouse comes up with a plan with her. Her mother's jutsu-.'

'" _Come on Akira. You'll be ok."_ A man in front of her, with familiar dark eyes and dark hair. _"You're Papa's here. You're ok, I need to take the kunai out ok?"_ her eyes wonder down to her leg. A kunai buried deep in the muscle of her thigh. So little against the metal. She was little. She was only seven, why was this happening? Didn't she do good in training? Why was she being punished? The numbness from adrenaline that took the edge off was fading fast. _"Deep breath honey please."_ Her father pleads and suddenly the kunai is out, large hands on her thigh trying to stop the blood, and she screams.'

Akira gasps, face wet from tears streaming down, as she curls in on herself. She presses fingers to her thigh, and feels a rough scar through her pants. It was all real, too real, she shudders and takes a handful of her pants in her hands, rubbing the material desperately trying to convince herself that the memory was years ago. That she is not freshly cut, even if her thigh throbs in distant pain. It was too many at once, too much at once, and her head is pounding again. Each pulse of her heart another thud of pain to the onslaught. She breathes in shaky and can't help but sob, loud and ugly as the last memory presses on her. A soft beat of pain behind her lids, and a new kind of agony as she curls further and lays on her side next to Gaara. Tear blur her vision as the memory softly comes into view in her mind's eye and she lets out another shaky throaty sob.

Her father, with dark hair and eyes that once shown like honey in the sun, the same coloring's she inherited, dead on the ground, his golden eyes closed like he was sleeping and her mother looking on without a tear.

Akira hugs her legs close as she sobs hard, her throat clenching, as mourns her father.

* * *

Gaara is standing before the bars of the new container as Shukaku glares at him from the other side. No longer a vast chasm that it once was but now a cage of steel and stone, the dim light that illuminates Shukaku's barren side shines just above the beast. Not even a speck of sand remains on Shukaku's side, while warm sand is piled on his. He can feel the warm sun on skin, and a gentle breeze. If the beast had it his way, Gaara would have died as soon as those yellow eyes landed on him. Yet Gaara couldn't find it in him to care, considering Shukaku had successfully driven a wedge between him and Akira. He does of course still care about her, is sure there is still friendship. But now Gaara isn't sure what he felt before, if he could ever feel that again without wondering if it is Shukaku again.

And a bigger part of him is sadden by that fact. He was happy then.

Gaara tilts his chin up a little more, not totally unfazed since he is now more annoyed at the gaze.

"I don't see why you're still here." Shukaku hisses. "You already have me successfully trapped. I can no longer mess with you, demon-child."

"You know why I'm here." His voice is monotone as usual, but Shukaku detects a bit more malicious in the words.

"Oh yes, you wanted to make nice," Shukaku snorts. "Even after what I did you really think-."

"You said it yourself, you're already trapped here. Akira's jutsu would have stabilized the seal, and thus making it so you no longer can manipulate me. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry it had to come this way. But I will not allow you to hurt the village or the people that I care for." Shukaku's eyes narrow as he sits up straighter, not wanting to lower himself down to Gaara's level.

"I am the Great and Mighty Shukaku of the Sand. I cause pain and misery and drive anyone who tries to keep me trapped to insanity. Don't make me laugh at your attempt to apologize." He growls as Gaara lowers his head from the demon's gaze.

"You're correct. I am not sorry as of now, I am not sorry for this because Akira is alive, and the village untouched. But I do regret it having to come to this." Gaara's seafoam eyes meet Shukaku's and the demon pauses at the look. There isn't sadness, malicious, anger or anything he is accustomed to, anything he was expecting.

There is only genuine regret and he blinks at the boy.

"I do wish that one day, we could accept the hand we've been dealt. I did not ask for you to be bound to me. And I know you dislike being in here. But instead of hurting each other, an understanding would be best." He offers and Shukaku finally breaks.

He doubles over cackling loudly and all but screeches in delight.

The bars don't shake like they used to but Gaara still jerks back in surprise as the demon pushes himself into the ground looking at the boy.

"You won't be saying that much long you idiot!" he cackles as Gaara looks at him confused. "I ruined that girl. I _devastated_ her." He giggles and he presses his face into the ground his huge body shaking as he tries to contain himself.

"What did you-?" Gaara starts to ask, is hesitant as Shukaku presses close to the bars, his yellow diamond eyes so bright against the dimly lit room that Gaara could see his reflection in them.

"I broke her seal. Her mind is chaos." He wheezes as he tries to tell Gaara the rest.

Of how he managed to wiggle out of the chains by melting to sand. How when the light brightened he stopped Gaara's consciousness with his own just to get one last _punch_ in. How she _screamed_ and wailed and _cried_ because of him. He watches as the boy expression changes from surprise, to concern, to rage and disgust. He watches as his brows furrow and his lips start to curl as pure anger and hatred radiate from the child. From his Gaara.

"When you go back, n-no matter how you feel now, it doesn't m-matter because your _Akira_ will be gone!" He finishes glee in his eyes, and Gaara can see himself in the reflection still, can see how utterly terrifying he looks. He looks like his old self.

He takes in a ragged breath and turns away from Shukaku and growls at the beast.

"Akira is stronger than you think. You are not leaving. And-." He pauses still turned from the beast before he starts walking away entirely.

"And one day, you will realize, that I do regret this." He finishes because even after all the terrors as a child, after everything Shukaku has done to him, if Gaara has learned anything it was that forgiving and acceptance is hard to do.

But he is trying.

Shukaku growls lowly as he watches the boy walk away. He's certainly has grown more than he cares to admit, he had felt that Gaara had been genuine about the regret, had known the boy wished they got along better with having to be forced together. But Shukaku was a demon, is a demon, and would always be a demon. And there is no changing that.

* * *

Fire dancing on a stone wall and the press of hard cool rock against his back great him as Gaara shifts and opens his eyes. His body is sore from the over use of chakra and his mind is groggy with being actively conscious again. His back hurts like he had fallen on his gourd, and he half wonders if that is what happened. He can smell some kind of meat roasting and he blinks at the light flickering and dancing on the cavern wall wearily. Gaara turns toward the light, wincing from the bright campfire and moves to sit up. The thermal blanket it over him barely makes it past his chest when he freezes at hearing someone shift closer to him.

"Stop," Firm hands press against his shoulders and push him back down and he is too surprised to fight it. "Does it hurt anywhere specifically?" his gaze lands on her silhouette, the fire too bright in the dark cave to see her fully, as she shifts to his side, chakra pumping in him at a steady pace as she scans. Its familiar now from those many nights spent with her but he swallows as he realizes it is off slightly. Something about her is off

"No, my back is sore but-." He answers and stops when she shoves her hands underneath him and presses upwards. Gaara blinks at the urgency and slight roughness of the gesture and flips onto his stomach willingly, warm chakra sinks into aching muscles and he lets out a breath closing his eyes a moment as the chakra relaxes them. The slightly off feeling of it is starting to be less noticeable as the familiarity washes over.

Maybe he imagined it?

"No broken bones anywhere, your muscles are stiff, but I just relaxed them. That should help. Sit up now." She leans away giving him some room as he moves.

His eyes are locked on her once he's up, still scanning and trying to see her face, and Akira ignores the racing in her chest. The memories of before, of what they were, press against her and she hardly wants to focus on their relationship when she has so many other questions to be asking. Her fingers and hands press against his chest, his neck, and he takes deep breaths as instructed and she's grateful to a degree at how easy of a patient he is being. When she's satisfied and done, she goes to move, to give him and herself some space but he tilts his head trying to catch her eyes.

"Akira," he says her name in a breath.

It had shocked her originally how ingrained her medical training was. The instinct, calculations, looking at vitals and scanning for wounds had seemed like muscle memory more than anything. She shouldn't be surprised that seeing him up and moving made her more relaxed. She shouldn't be shocked at how much he effected her based on the memories she had remembered. They were close, so close that being with him felt as natural to her as taking vitals. She shouldn't be surprised, to react to him in the way she is doing, like being with him is also a motor memory.

So she shouldn't have been so surprised that she can't help but turn when he calls her name.

His mint eyes lock onto hers and its just as she feared as her head starts to pound and throb and _hurt._

She gives out a small cry at the sudden _break_ and he reaches for her on his own instinct he can't explain. "Don't-." she tries but doesn't get very far as the memory locks into place.

'Her head is on his leg, his fingers brush through her hair and she's smiling. He's smiling, an actual genuine smile that reaches those gorgeous eyes. Laughter and talking fill the quiet space between and when it's done she's glad she said it. " _I'm glad you exist"_ a smile and a brush of fingers against her cheek.'

Akira takes in a hard gulp of air letting it out slowly the best she can as she blinks back into reality. Her fingers are intertwined with his, clenching hard, steadying herself as he looks at her concerned. His brow furrowed with worry and she blinks away the wetness in her eyes before looking at their joined hands. He hadn't listened to her, but he also didn't fully grab her like she had expected of him, and for a moment she's grateful for his hand. She stares at the slender, barely callous fingers against her own, how his hands were much larger and she feels a wave of something familiar about comparing hands settle over her.

She drops it quickly, like it's burned her, before rising to a shaky stand. She doesn't want to remember more, she is still processing her last one. She moves away and she can feel his questioning eyes on her. She must be acting different than what he expects. He hasn't stopped looking at her with concern and confusion both evident on his face. His lips quirked downward, his brow clenched with worry and his whole body shifted toward her waiting to reach out.

Akira bites down the sudden frustration that hits her as she moves the rabbit she caught and skinned out of the fire. She reaches for her scroll and quickly scribbles down the basics of the memory, the barebones of it, in case she forgets again. She reads through what she has for a moment. Facts, such as her father being dead, her mother being the one to kill him, her shakiness and panic of holding a kunai. Of being close and feeling something strange with this boy- Gaara. She underlines his name. Trying hard to ignore the frustrations that come with not remembering _anything useful_ and the turmoil of the new emotions that each memory brings. She can still feel the gentle brush of fingers against her cheek as she pointedly tries not to look too much at Gaara.

"Gaara," she calls still reading her scroll, trying to be more casual and trying not to wonder how different she is acting to him. It hardly matters she reasons since it's not like he's the one with the fucked up mind. "What is, or who is, Shukaku? What is our mission and where are we?" she asks quickly, bluntly, and she rolls her wrist ready to scribble down an explanation next to Shukaku when she feels him go to brush her shoulder.

"Don't!" she says it harder than intended, more of a hiss, a warning, than anything else and she sees the surprise, the slight hurt in his eyes. "Don't touch me." She says softer but it's not an explanation and she knows it.

She just can't bring herself to care.

Gaara scans her face, trying to find an explanation there, and still gives her an answer, if only a tad hesitant. "Shukaku is a tailed beast. He is sealed inside me. I am a jinchuriki." Akira winces and gives a slight hiss at the pain in her head as her fingers rise to her temple.

'An explosion, the Chunin exams were being attacked. The Sand was invading, a giant beast in the distance with immense power. A kunai gripped firmly in her hand, the metal cool and hard. Her mother's voice " _The Leaf has no chance._ " She breathes and Akira can see the wheels in her mind turn.'

"That's why we left." She mutters aloud more to herself than to him but Gaara looks at her confused before answering.

"Yes… you told me you moved here because-." He starts hoping to help but Akira shushes him.

"Don't-!" She cuts herself off again at hearing the bite in her voice. He can tell she is agitated, can tell there is something _wrong_ and she isn't telling him anything and he feels a flash of irritation now as he sighs hard.

"Akira what is-?" She cuts him off with a quick sigh and turns away, rolling her eyes as she does as she shuffles the scroll around to jot on it.

"I-I don't know! I don't know!" she hisses, fed up, tired, as she walks away but sand slides in front of her stopping her. Gaara marches toward her brow still furrowed in confusion only now his patience is thinning. Akira clenches her jaw, not wanting to deal with him and the stupid-not-relevant-memories he brings, not wanting to feel her fucking mind melting again every time he came too close.

Gaara has had enough however as he stands an arms length distance away. His face has morphed into a mixture of aloof annoyance at the situation she is not helping explain. He had watched her from the moment he had awoken to be pushy, snappy, overall irritated and worst of all scared. He had noticed the way she brought her arms closer to her body, the way she didn't look at him in the eye. The jerky and stiff movements to her body and the off feeling that came from every chakra spike as her temper worsened. She never seemed to realize just how much her chakra flared alongside her temper, and it was the biggest indicator of her worsening mood. Gaara stares hard at the back of his friend as she shifts, pressing her arms unknowingly tighter to her sides, the scroll in front of her and out of view and he tries, he really does, to calm his temper as he speaks.

"Shukaku overtook me, you helped seal him with a jutsu I had no idea you had. And now I'm awake and you're not telling me anything and are asking questions you should already-."

"Yeah and he must have done something to my memories because They. Are. Gone!" she shouts before looking over her shoulder and dropping her voice trying and failing to keep the venom out of it. Her eyes, he realizes, are red rimmed and look swollen. "I woke up without even knowing my _name_. I barely even know you. I know we drank tea, and... that we are close, but I don't know _you._ " She emphasizes turning more toward him to prod a finger at him. "If it wasn't for Chizu I would have... you would have woken up with a kunai to your neck." She can't look at him anymore, her voice lowering and the bite to it _finally_ leaving. His eyes are wide and the concern, the _guilt_ in them is too much. She doesn't deserve it. "I-I don't know the past from present and I d-don't know anything a-about anyone... W-when did my p-papa die?" she asks her voice is shaking and her eyes water as she hugs herself, the scroll crumpling against her arm. This feeling of grief, loss, _hurt_ wasn't fading anytime soon. If they were so close maybe-?

"You told me you didn't remember him. He died when you were small." Gaara's voice is almost a whisper, after a moment, almost in disbelief, as Akira looks up at him sharply. Her mind scanning back to that memory, to the moment her father pulled the kunai out of her leg.

The night her papa died.

"N-no I was seven. I should-would-."

"You had a seal on your memories from being kidnapped." He offers as his eyes widening a little in understanding, and surprise and he reaches for her again. Only Akira shakes her head eyes wide, disbelief coursing through her and steps back from his reach. "You were kidnapped and your mother saved you but-."

"That _woman_ is the reason he's dead! She wouldn't lift a finger to help me!" Gaara jerks back at the venom in her voice. He has hardly heard Akira speak about anyone let alone her mother in that way. He thinks of all the times her mother and her argued over dinner, the worst fight being what kind of tea what the best. Akira huffs as she moves past Gaara. The fire is dying, and she needs to do something with her hands-.

"Akira your mother would do anything for you and Shuichi." Gaara moves to grab her wrist but his fingers can only brush against it before Akira jerks out of his grasp instantly. Irritation is clear on her face as she spins around to face him.

"Yeah and who the hell is Shuichi?!"

"Your brother."

A log in the fire snaps as Akira freezes, her jaw dropping as she loses a breath.

'Soft lavender hair fills her vision for a moment before he turns around grinning, and dark violet eyes look at her with glee. ' _Come on little sister! You can't get me!'_ He shouts and when she finally gets close he does what he always does. He gently pushes her forward as he darts off in the opposite direction. She can't stop as she's bursting through glass. She tumbles and feels a sharp pain in her shoulder. ' _Don't look!'_ He's sobbing more than she is as he helps her inside, and sits with her as the glass is carefully pulled out. ' _I didn't mean it I'm so sorry Aki!"_ He holds her hand as it's bandaged and lets her punch his shoulder as compensation. She's laughing while she's trying to do it though, because he's telling jokes and making silly faces and being her big brother. His eyes are the same shape as hers, his smile the same big grin. She laughs when he finally hops away from her punches and she gives chase.'

Akira blinks back to reality with a ringing in her ears, as Gaara presses the water container into her hands. It's lighter now, he must have had some water before her, as she sips it dully. Her face is wet she realizes as he presses soft gentle fingers to her jaw, turning her face towards him. Her eyes, a soft ember glow in the firelight, meets his ethereal sea-green ones. She watches dazed and a cold numbness sweeps over her as he grimaces and sand gently sweeps behind her, coaxing her down to sit on the stone floor. He sits to the side of her but facing her, and studies her face in the firelight. He carefully wipes her face dry and pulls her pack towards them with his sand. He digs threw it carefully looking at the different medicines in the fire light. Akira watches dully with a gnawing pain in her heart for how she has treated him so far.

Gaara hadn't realized how badly injured she was until she froze, her eyes going in a daze. Gaara had frozen for a moment too, at the stillness that suddenly washed over his dear friend. He gently called her name as he touched her hand, but she was unresponsive. The firelight had granted him enough vision to see her body language, but the wave of immense guilt at her injuries was new. Looking at the bandages around her neck, at her bloody vest, and the loose over-sized shirt underneath. He is sure it is his from the dark color of it but doesn't care. He is more concerned at the scratches on her face, and the daze she is lost in. He hadn't been the one to cause them, to cause this to her, but that thought hardly brings him any comfort. He sighs pulling out the same medicine he didn't need twice in a row, before swallowing the irritation and guilt thick in his throat and finally spoke.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you... I'm here to help you, if you have any questions-."

"No," she breathes, his rough baritone and the guilt in it pressing her back into reality, and she pulls back and helps him find the antibiotic spray he is after. "No something isn't right. My memories must have been altered before, or I was lied to." She turns away to grab her scroll as Gaara sprays the antibiotic on a clean cotton ball. "All I know is that my father died when I was seven, my mother is the one to kill him, or at the very least caused him to die. I h-have a brother. And I care about-FUCK Gaara!" she hisses once he presses the cotton ball to her cheek. She jerks back sharply as he sighs an apology. She shoots him a halfhearted glare and he lets out another sigh of an apology gently cupping her face a little.

"Just hold still," he says as she stiffens from the contact before relaxing against his hand. She only winces a little this time as he dabs at the scratches. Her cheek had the worst of it, but there are little ones almost everywhere, and he works as she talks.

"And... I care about you, I trust you. I can't explain it. I mean... I guess trusting you is like a muscle memory? I remembered how to heal vaguely and if anything it's the same thing?" She tries before smiling a little, "Though I may trust you less since your attacking me with cotton balls." She huffs as he finishes his assault with said cotton ball. She glances at him where he sits, his eyes shining with some amusement in the firelight. "And I know who Shukaku is and that there was a time before Suna... I think." She finishes looking back at the scroll and trying to fight off any other embarrassment from being this close to him and is once again trying not to make too much eye contact.

Gaara's eyes are bright from the firelight, the mint color is almost glowing in this setting, and if Akira is honest with herself, it is memorizing.

"That's not much." He says after a moment as he pulls out a roll of bandages. He can't help but think of all those stories she had told him. A part of him doesn't want to believe they had been fabricated, they felt too real to be. But he doesn't take offense, even if they weren't real they were just stories to him now. Yet they had once been the truth to Akira and he can't imagine the pain she'll be in if they were all once fake. The memories she had entrusted with him had been happy, funny and loving ones, each one just as precious as the other, and it wasn't fair to her that she lose them all. If anything he feels annoyed on her behalf, just how much of her life was going to be destroyed?

"I know. But aside from that it's all I have. But when I remembered my brother it didn't hurt. I think if I can just figure out what my oldest memory is and go from there. Like from my first memory to now." She jots the note down as Gaara reaches for her neck, trying to change the bandages when she jerks back.

"Y-you don't have to." She says as he looks at her surprised before showing the already opened roll. She sighs and gives him a look, her brown eyes huge and full of worry and he can't help but think of how misplaced it is in the moment. Her chest tightens as he blinks at her and she doesn't want to give him any more guilt of what had happened. She doesn't need or want that burden on her mind.

"When you said Shukaku took control, it wasn't hard to put together," she mutters as she undoes the roll and Gaara can't help the sharp inhale at the sight of her neck.

Deep purple and blue bruises have formed on the curve of her neck. He traces the edges of them with his eyes, knowing that they would match up to his own fingers. He raises his hand and hesitates for a moment before tilting her chin slightly away and sees where they end. He grimaces at the crescent shaped markings and scratches that are now carved into her neck. Gaara's eyes roam a moment longer before he looks down and away from her.

"I'm-,"

"Don't." she says after a moment as he looks at her surprised. "You didn't do it."

He looks at her a moment, expecting for her to say something about how it was Shukaku, that she understands. It what she would usually say, something to show she doesn't blame him, isn't still afraid. But he sees the distance in her eyes, and knows that it won't come, she knows it wasn't him in control. But the fact is that it was his hands to hurt her, it was his fingers that left those marks even if it wasn't him to hold her like that. And when he reaches to wrap the bandages she tries not to, but he sees her flinch from him a little.

Gaara bandages her neck careful not to touch her bruises too harshly and when he's done he eases himself a little bit away from her. Akira relaxes but the tight knot in his chest does not. The knowledge that this bond between them is now worn thin, and is stretched to its limit, sits heavy with him. He doesn't want to lose his friend, doesn't want to lose this bond they have forged and fought for, but he doesn't want her to be afraid of him. Doesn't want to see her look at him with disgust and hatred for hurting her.

"We'll leave at first light. You should get some rest." He offers as Akira nods but stays sitting, still looking down at her scroll and has begun picking at the edges of it. He wants to tell her that he'll protect her, but he can't bring himself to tell her.

It might as well be a lie at this point.

She raises her eyes to his, those dark eyes bearing into his own a moment before she speaks. "When we get back to the village. Stay away from me."

Gaara freezes, jaw unhinging a little as he stares at her, stricken.

"I need to figure this out on my own. I can't stand to be around you right now, you're too important, too close to me," ' _With too many memories surrounding you.'_ She thinks but doesn't add as she gazes into the fire, guilt rising in her chest at Gaara's expression. "I know you might know things that could help, but I need the truth, and obviously we both don't know what that is right now." She looks at him with hard eyes, that this will not be discussed further and that she is not explaining anymore.

Gaara is silent as he clenches his jaw and looks away from her, his chest twists in pain and he wants to fight this wants her to _want his help._

"I take it you agree?" she starts to ask after a moment but Gaara's voice overlaps hers.

" _I'm sorry._ " He croaks out, louder than he's ever been before, and Akira jerks back at the pain in those two words. "I didn't know Shukaku could do something like this. I never wanted to hurt you." He tries to explain but the pain in his chest, in his heart stops him and startles him. It's familiar, this pain, and he hates it. He can't bring himself to look at her, and fights the urge to ignore her words since he's sure there will be venom in them now.

"... Well I'm not." Akira says gently surprising him a little as she shifts to face him. "Sorry that is. It gives me a chance to learn the truth. I'm not upset Gaara, I just need space." She tries. She feels like she's fumbling for words and she wishes that she could have just avoiding explaining this to the boy. But she can't leave him this upset. She can't turn her back on him. She barely fucking remembers him but the memories she does have... she had felt warm, and happy after they were done. He had treated her injuries despite all her hurtful and cryptic answers. She doesn't want to hurt him.

Gaara still doesn't look at her as she sighs, he just curls in on himself a little, shoulders slouching, head down, hurt.

"I remember starry nights and constellations." Her own voice is a soft whisper as she states the memories, trying and fumbling to do _something_. "I remember tea, and quiet nights. I remember y-you," she pauses, and she feels embarrassment light her cheeks aflame. "I remember you brushing the hair out of my face, and kissing my cheeks, and being _there._ I don't remember much about you, but I do know, that you are important to me. I do know that I want you with me. The memories I do have are full of laughter and warmth and-... and I want that still." She takes in a shaky breath as her hands shake and she feels the worry and panic she's kept at bay finally move in. "I need to know who I am, I don't want to be _told_ who I am. And I know you mean well, but there is too much-. It hurts to remember you right now, and I-I can't.-." she stops because a big part of her doesn't want to tell him how afraid she is that she'll always have holes. That she'll never get the full story. That she's afraid she'll never remember fully, and the thought hurts her _physically_ and that alone scares her.

But a bigger part of her knows he's more important to her than her fear.

"I can't have you around because it hurts, and I may not remember everything but I do know this and its that I would do it again!" He looks at her then with wide mint eyes of genuine surprise and she lets out a little laugh at how crazy she must sound to him. "I know in my bones that given the chance I would fight Shukaku again, because you are and will always be important to me." She can feel the prickling sensation of her eyes watering, and the rush of complete confidence in her words is a little exhilarating if she's honest.

Because ever since she woke up she's been second guessing everything, taking facts based on evidence, but what she is saying now is only feeling. But it's the most genuine and strongest feeling she's had since waking up. Besides the frustration of having her mind get fucked over, but that hardly matters when Gaara blinks at her, his own eyes watery but with no real tears and shifts up on his knees. He holds his arms out in front of him and she's moving before she even fully realizes. She hits him harder than intended and sand instantly shifts around them cushioning the fall, but she hardly cares and notices, as she buries her face in his chest, and Gaara dips his own head down to her shoulder.

For a moment she closes her eyes and lets the familiarity settle in and the smell of sandalwood, clean linen and something she can't quite place fills her senses. She distantly compares it to the shirt she is wearing from him and thinks that this, right now, with her arms around him and his around her, is better. Akira feels tears slide down her face again as she lets herself be held and holds him in return.

"I'm so sorry, for everything. I just..." she pauses taking in a shaky breath and trying not to sob in his arms. "I just feel so angry at everything. I don't know anything anymore. And the worst part is that I... I'm scared I won't get them back. Not all of them at least." she admits and Gaara sighs against her shoulder and squeezes her a little tighter. He rubs a hand down her back and she can feel his breath on her neck, can feel the reverberations in his chest as he speaks then.

"I'll give you space. But please, know I'm here." He says after a moment as she nods against his chest and he squeezes her once more before sighing against her shoulder again. His chest heaving with relief and she feels for the first time since she woke up the ever-there frustration of today slide away. Gaara is warm against her, familiar in her embrace and is ever so damn accepting and supportive.

Akira relaxes and tells herself that one more note needs to be added to her growing list.

That she is as important to Gaara as he is to her. Because as he holds her, his long gentle fingers brush against her hair and wipes away few tears that have escaped from her. That he had tended to her injuries just moments ago despite her nasty words. That even after everything that has happened, he is giving her what she wants. Giving her space but doesn't leave and instead tells her he is there. And she believes him wholeheartedly.

It is sometime later that he finally starts to disentangle himself from her. She sits up with him and Gaara presses the water in her hands before moving toward the cooked rabbit. They eat in silence before Gaara looks over at her, Akira glances over at him in the middle of taking a swallow of water.

"Hmm?" she questions mouth still full before swallowing.

Gaara stares at her a beat, and shakes his head. "Your chakra just felt off earlier but it was probably nothing." he pauses a beat before taking the water from Akira's offering hand. "And I want you to know that I will always be your friend." Akira pauses her hand still on the water container she is handing to him when he says this. She looks at him and Gaara can't help his exhale as her dark brown eyes take on the usual honey like glow from the firelight. Akira simply nods numbly giving him the container looking away after a beat of getting lost in the color of Gaara's eyes.

Gaara puts another log on the fire, and is about to tell Akira to turn in when she tugs on his sleeve where they sit next to each other.

"Will you... Can I...?" She holds out her arms hesitant for once to initiate something she used to do so naturally, and he doesn't waste a second in wrapping her in his embrace. Akira curls against him, her head against his chest, his arms around her and hers around him.

Gaara closes his eyes knowing she would have done the same for him, would be doing the same for him, if the situation switched. Gaara gently shifts them a little practically holding her in his lap, but given the current situation can hardly find room to mind. He smiles a little at the realization that she was always pressing into his personal space and he finds comfort that her mannerism hasn't changed too much. Akira hums contently at the embrace and falls asleep a few moments later, still in his arms. He waits a few moments before shifting her to lay on the stone floor and rest her head in his lap instead. She wakes up for a moment as he tenderly moves her, but falls asleep as soon as she's settled again, and she sees it. Akira sees the look in his eyes, something so warm and genuine that she has seen in all of her memories with him, and feels his fingers brush the hair in her face away, and knows that no matter what, Gaara will stay by her side.

And she takes comfort in the display of affection and loyalty, the vague familiar sense of home being with him brings, as sleep takes her.

Gaara watches for a short time before sighing and brushing his fingers through her hair again. He makes a small bed of sand, just enough to stop the cold of the stone from affecting her sleep. She is already shifting uncomfortably from it, the cold of cave. He moves her gently on the sand before laying the thermal blanket over her. He watches as she curls with the blanket, nose under the covers as always. He smiles a little at that, settling down next to her, and he takes a breath leaning against the cavern wall. A lot is changing, a lot is going to be different now that the truth is coming out. Akira shifts a little sinking down further and he smiles a little as she snuggles into the blanket.

A lot is going to be different.

But as he gently tugs the blanket over her shoulder a little more, he knows that they will be fine. Their bond is stronger than this, stronger than he even thought it was. They _will_ be fine.

Gaara looks at the cavern entrance, heart heavy for his friend, and a part of him wondering how true his statements were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -End- Song Choice: when the party's over by Billie Eilish wasn't honestly my first choice. I listened to a number of songs trying to find one that was filled with frustration and heartache that things were changing. After finding out the meaning I just felt like it felt best. Overall Akira is angry at what is happening beyond her control. Gaara is angry that his friend is hurting and doesn't want his help. Overall their just both hurting and when the day is done they agree to part hoping time apart will be for the best.
> 
> Also I just want to warn the next two chapters (maybe three?) will be Akira-centric and focus on her backstory, her relationship with Temari, and her growth. Gaara will of course be featured but I just wanted to warn ahead of time! Also updates might be slower for me to do a little research due to the course the story is going to be flowing soon.
> 
> Also today marks a full year since I posted this story! I am amazed at the feedback it's gotten and thank you to everyone for the reviews, favorites, and alerts! It means a lot!
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time!


	14. Remember Everything

Cold sinks into her skin and flesh as she shifts and shivers hard, trying to bury herself deeper in the thermal blanket that is nearly intoxicating in it's warmth, and threatens to drag her back into sweet dreamless bliss. Birdsong drifts into the cave preventing that and she groans as she opens her eyes, blurry and confused as they meet dimly lit cavern walls. She can smell the remnants of a fire as she rolls staring at the ceiling of the cavern, studying the differing shades of gray as light changes the gradient. Her body hurts a bit everywhere, her wrist aches the worst of it all, and she stares numbly for a moment before shivering once again as the thermal blanket does little against the cold floor, which is hard against her back. Growing more uncomfortable she shifts again with another quiet groan. Her head throbs and her bones seem to creak with every movement of her sore bruised body; she half wonders if she were to heal herself, if she would still be this sore. She finally sits up and listens a moment to the birdsong that drifts into the cave. Distant and almost a whisper of how loud and clear it really could be. She could still feel the cold under her as she rubs her wrist, taking note that the bandages around her neck probably need to be changed.

She hears footsteps coming and numbly turns in their direction as Gaara enters and his mint eyes land on her. She blinks at him a second and turns away as she vaguely remembers some of the night before. She remembers their mutual breakdown and holding each other through it. She had fallen asleep with her head in his lap last night. Had told him not to go near her once they were home.

But they are not home yet and it doesn't stop him from coming to kneel next to her, handing her some of their rations and water. He doesn't say anything as he eases himself down next to her, while she takes the food with her good hand and he takes her sore wrist gently as she eats. She tries to give him something akin to a smile but can't quite move her lips up enough. Gaara gives her fingers a quick squeeze and she feels herself relax more as he massages her tender joint.

Gaara's chakra is warm, soothing, and achingly familiar as the tendons, bones, muscles in her wrist relax under his gently rubbing fingers.

Akira shifts to lean against him with a content sigh, the birdsong still a distant sweet whisper, the blanket pools around her waist covering her legs. Gaara is warm and smells like a desert breeze on a bright day and something floral she couldn't quite place a finger on. She feels her lips try and tug a little at that knowledge. He didn't seem like the kind of man who would smell floral in any capacity. It is comfortable, familiar, here with him in the quiet and calm cave. For a moment her head doesn't hurt, for a moment (which she wished could last longer) she wants nothing more than to stay here with him.

But, of course, it is only a moment.

"I disabled the traps, organized our supplies and informed Baki. I… had sand underneath you to help you sleep properly but…" he pauses as his fingers stutter to a halt before Akira simply nods against his shoulder. She only vaguely understands, her mind still wrapping around having fought against a tailed beast who had possessed her friend, but she doesn't try to linger especially when she feels a pinprick of pain behind her temples. She might only vaguely remember being thrown around like a ragdoll but her aching body is enough evidence at what she had endured. "Whenever you are ready to leave." He finishes softly as she nods numbly against him again. He tilts his head trying to catch her face but can't as he gently stops the flow of chakra.

He doesn't say anything else, he isn't even sure what to say if he's honest. She's always been better at this part, always more open and understanding. All he can do is be here, with her for as long as he's able, and for as long as she'll let him. A part of him (which is larger than he's willing to admit) is debating on ending this. He has already hurt her, and even if she had truly meant her words yesterday, she hardly remembers him. The wall he wants to put up, to stop the coming pain before it finally hits, to push out Akira before she can truly hurt him, is easy enough to do, and harder to stop. The girl who had fought against Shukaku for him, had made promises to him, was vastly different than the one resting against him now.

But as Akira sighs against him, relaxed in the cave as she munches on the rations, he knows he has to try. She would do the same for him. And really, he reasons, that's all that matters.

Gaara is still holding her arm and he takes a breath, as he interlaces his fingers with hers. He stares at how her fingers fit against his longer ones, and he tilts his head against where hers rest on his shoulder. Her hair presses against his cheek and he closes his eyes because maybe she isn't the same girl, but she is still Akira and his friend.

Akira squeezes his hand, grateful for the support in way she couldn't describe as she sits and sips her water. That is until she realizes that she can barely feel the cold stone underneath her, and that the cool wet liquid against her lips is a dull sensation. She takes a breath trying to stay in the moment with him as she feels him press his cheek against the top of her head. She still feels some of Gaara's warmth and she knows in the back of her mind that she's slipping. Knows that she's going somewhere she shouldn't as the birdsong slowly beings to be muffled, as the light loses its intensity. She doesn't feel pain in her sore body as much, but then again, she isn't sure she feels… anything.

She's going down a hole and… she doesn't see a point in coming out. In stopping the descent.

Why should she? She doesn't have all her memories, doesn't know who to trust, and it hurt when she remembered. She barely remembers Gaara, her mother… she didn't even know she had a brother until she was told.

So, she lets herself slip into this hole were everything is muffled, dulled, softened, and maybe it isn't the best plan, but at least it won't hurt if she stays there.

Gaara takes the canteen when she's done, and notices the glaze in her eyes then. He feels the words get caught in his throat but can only squeeze her hand gently. Akira gives a small squeeze back and Gaara feels the guilt sit heavy in his chest before he leaves for a moment to get her medical supplies while she changes her undershirt back to a tan one. When he returns he once again cleans her wounds which have scabbed over, to the best of his abilities and fixes the bandages on her neck. It almost looks worse now, the angry impressions before are now larger and more blurred.

Like claws instead of fingers had gripped her throat.

He tries not to think about it anymore than that.

Gaara keeps track of their resting, gives her rations, and leads them home as Akira marches on besides him. Dutiful of their surroundings, careful of their tracks. He knows that there is a dullness to her eyes still, knows that her movements are mechanical at best, stiff and broken at worst. He keeps an eye on her but doesn't like how her eyes have darken, how her face remains smooth and emotionless. There is a standard mask shinobi wear, to keep their emotions in check, but this wasn't a mask it was a latency that had settled over her. Time passes but she doesn't seem to notice its almost dark. They are almost home when Gaara decides to stop for the night, to reach Suna early morning and he sends a message to Baki about their arrival. Gaara feels a hard twinge at the thought of reaching Suna so soon, happiness that they are almost home.

But he knows he'll have to let her go for a time.

"Akira," she stops and looks at him her dark brown eyes so dull they appear almost black now. "I understand you want to do this alone, but I am here and I will always be your friend." He doesn't see a flicker, doesn't see a change. Her eyes just as dark and hard as before and he feels his stomach drop.

What else is he supposed to say? What else is he supposed to do?

How had she done this before? She spoke her mind, her emotions on her sleeve at all times. Gaara has no idea what he is doing and he's losing her.

"Ok." She states, voice neutral, uncaring, emotionless.

Gaara doesn't say anything else, what else can he say? He just lets her lay down to rest as Akira brushes away a small tear, her eyes having watered a moment from his words.

She tries, desperately, to shove down the guilt that gnaws on her. She knows that they both need this, the distance to deal with what they went through, but if she's honest with herself she knows in her heart that it's all an excuse. She doesn't want to hurt him, but she _needs_ distance. Needs a chance to figure things out without hurting anyone. Because hurting Gaara has _never_ been her intention and this distance is probably hurting him. She goes to sleep uneasy and numb because, yes this is what she wants, but she's wondering if its worth the cost.

* * *

It takes them a hour to reach the village gates, and in the bright early-early morning hours, the sun has not fully risen and the desert is a soft glow under a soft blue sky. Baki is waiting at the gates when they arrive. His face is hard and unreadable to Akira but Gaara can tell after years of being around the man the silent anger in his eyes. He almost blanches at the sight, it had been years since Baki last looked at him like that. He looks at the pair, absolutely annoyed and angry at the disaster of a mission that had happened but glad to see minor injuries and that Gaara is still in control. He's about to ask for their stories when the girl interrupts.

"I need a hospital." She states simply, her voice hollow, and Baki takes in the dead eyes, her injured neck and nods once.

He knows what its like to come face-to-face with the tailed beast. At least she is one of the lucky ones to walk away alive. Or at the very least breathing.

"I will be coming by for a full report. Go on ahead." Baki nods once to a nearby shinobi guarding the gate who nods back. Akira follows the guard dutifully as Gaara watches, surprised and a little hurt at the unexpected goodbye. Even if, he reasons, he shouldn't be.

"Come. We need to get to Chiyo." Baki orders as Gaara looks at the man who helped train and raise him.

He nods once to him, and follows but can't help but look back at the direction Akira left in.

* * *

Gaara takes a deep breath as Chiyo's chakra examines him. It's different from Akira's, more confident and reaching. He watches Baki's face remain stone as Chiyo clicks her tongue. She had her arm twisted to examine Gaara when Baki had told her that the seal she had placed on him was inadequate, and the village _she_ also lived in.

"Well it would seem I was right." Chiyo states as she steps away from Gaara as Baki blinks.

"Pardon?" he asks as she chuckles. Gaara holds his shirt in his hands and looks between the two of them.

"I told the late Kazekage that sealing Shukaku into Gaara before he was born would result in a weaker seal. He didn't care. It seems that Shukaku has been trying to push Gaara toward turmoil to try and weaken the seal even further. Or at the very least, cause a… regression." She says giving Gaara a knowing look as he nods. He doesn't look away, he knows what she's getting at and while he does regret having been lost to the darkness, he refuses to go back. Chiyo's eyes seem to look through him though seeing something he can't before she turns away.

"Fortunately, the shinobi that went with you did a nice job of reinforcing the seal. That jutsu is an older technique, I'm surprised he knows it."

"She," Gaara corrects as Chiyo snorts.

"Of course, it's a she. Women have a better control over their chakra now don't they." She smirks at that before shrugging. "The seal is stabilized, and no demon is coming out for a while. Now if you two would stop bothering-."

The door to the room flies open before she could even finish as Kankuro and Temari nearly trip over themselves getting inside the room. They pause, half caught in the doorway and between trying to catch themselves. Gaara blinks at them surprised as they look at him with relief.

Before yelping once they look over at Baki who glares at them harshly and they straighten up.

"Gaara I'm glad you're alright! -."

"How was the mission!?"

"Where is-?"

"If you all could leave now that would be fantastic!" Chiyo shouts, now holding a scalpel that gleams with a terrifying liquid that now drips from it, and the sand siblings look at her and gulp.

* * *

"Waitwaitwait. So Akira managed to reseal Shukaku in you?" Kankuro asks as Temari scoffs. They had left Chiyo and Baki quickly since Gaara had given the older man his full report while Chiyo examined him. Now they were in Temari's office, having hightailed it away from the terrifying duo. Gaara sits on a chair next to the hard oak desk Temari is seated at while Kankuro leans against the wall. Gaara closes his eyes knowing what is coming as Kankuro turns his head to his scoffing sister.

"She didn't reseal, she reinforced the seal."

"Same difference."

"No it's not-."

"Akira is currently in Suna hospital, having her injuries looked at. She isn't ok and it's my fault." Gaara finishes, not wanting to look up at his siblings as he presses fingers against his temples. His siblings stop their arguing and exchange glances at each other.

"Gaara…" Temari says softly reaching for his hand. He lets her hold it before taking a breath. He knows he has to tell them even if he really doesn't want to. They agreed long ago to be more open, to talk more. Besides, he thinks as he looks at Temari's deep teal eyes, she deserves to know.

He tells them everything. Of the ambush, of Akira getting stabbed, of getting dragged down into the darkness and trying and failing to get a foothold of sanity anywhere. He pauses a moment remembering the drowning sensation that had overcome him in moments, of sand constantly shifting around him, forcing him down. He takes a swallow of air before going, taking solace in the fact that he is, and will always, be in control. Gaara tells them of Akira helping him by stalling Shukaku, of her talking sense into him, he tells them of how he talked with the beast and saw himself in those yellow eyes. He doesn't tell them everything with the cave, how he cleaned Akira's wounds, or the quiet moments spent there just the other morning. It seems too private almost as he finishes with a soft sigh.

When he's done Kankuro and Temari are both quiet, as Gaara rubs his eyes and massages his temples. Dry now even as his chest is so heavy and suffocating. He's hit with a hysterical urge to laugh when he remembers how Akira used to cry for him. He wonders for a moment if she even remembers that.

"Oh…oh fuck." Temari mutters after a moment as Kankuro blinks back into reality.

"And she doesn't want you around now? Because it hurts to remember?" he asks as Gaara nods.

"Well that's bullshit!" Temari shouts and rises to a stand, her chair tumbles back as her teal eyes flash with anger. "She needs us now more than ever! We won't lie to her!"

"She doesn't know that. She just wants space to sort it out-." Kankuro tries to reason as he peels away from the wall and turns toward his sister, arms raised trying to be calming.

It seems to only piss off Temari more who scowls. "We should be there helping her anyway!"

"Temari-." Kankuro tries reaching toward her as she steps back despite having half the room between them. Gaara rubs his temples his head starting to throb from their shouting, well more his sister's but Kankuro is only adding gas to her fire.

"We need to show her that we're still here!"

"She doesn't want us." Gaara quietly, almost in defeat, surprising both Kankuro and Temari. "Besides, what's the point of fighting for this." He says before he can stop himself, as his throat tightens and burns and-.

He gasps in pain as he clutches a hand over his heart. The outburst unexpected but familiar as he shakes.

"Gaara!" Kankuro cries out as they rush to his side, surprise and concern engulfing them.

"She told me we would still be friends. She promised. But now she hardly remembers, and she doesn't want us near her. Temari I know she's your friend too, I know she made you promises too. But should we really stay in her life? Should…I?" he asks softly not wanting to see his sister's face. He knew that it needed to be asked if staying with Akira, if keeping her close to this cursed family would be worth hurting her, but that didn't help the knot in his chest knowing how damaging the words would be to his sister.

"Tem-." He stops as soft arms envelope him and he freezes as Temari hugs him tightly to her.

"You're not a monster. Akira doesn't, wouldn't, blame you. What happened wasn't your fault. Please don't let what she did be taken for granted." She says softly tilting her head against Gaara's as he blinks taken aback before wrapping his arms around her and returning the hug.

Kankuro watches as his sister and brother hold each other. Both grieving over the potential lose of their friend and grits his teeth. He pats them both on the back, leaving to get them all water. To talk more about this at length when he gets back.

Kankuro leaps out of a window closest to the office and away from his family. It is dark now in Suna, and he stays in the shadows, determined.

* * *

It isn't hard to figure out which room Akira is in, thankful that it has a window as he carefully scales the side of the building. He is almost irritated at how easy it is to get inside. He lets it go easily enough though since not many people want to break _into_ a hospital. He stumbles inside however, catching his foot off the edge of the windowsill and spies the sight of her curled on her side asleep with the crisp white blanket and sheet. Kankuro knows in his gut he should be handling this with some grace, should be a lot nicer to her all things considered.

But then he remembers his siblings hurting over her while she is sleeping soundly, and ungracefully shoves and shakes her awake.

"Hey get up," he hisses, careful to keep his voice down as she opens her eyes and blinks once at him. She's on the other side of the room in an instant, arms raised ready to defend herself as Kankuro scoffs.

"If I was here to attack you, you wouldn't be standing." He says eyeing her dirty, bloody clothes. There's still a hole where the kunai had been in her vest, allowing him to see the dark undershirt underneath. Akira doesn't stop glaring at him though as she lowers her arms a little. She eyes him up and down before letting out a yelp of pain and hisses as she crumbles over.

"Oh shit-." Kankuro starts and he tries to rush to her but she holds up a hand. He stops in place still staring as she looks at the floor with glazed dark eyes.

"I… You broke my arm…" she says slowly coming back up to a rise as she looks at him again. Eyes hazy and confused. "We were on mission, I thought you had gotten caught. I pulled on your arm to get you to follow but it wasn't you. It was a puppet and then you broke my arm after because I yanked on your dumb puppet." She hisses glaring at him as he crosses his arms almost bored. He's seen her pissed off before and although the fresh anger is new he knows how they first met is still a sore spot for her.

"Is that all you remember?" he asks evenly, knowing full well that aside from a few lunches and dinners, that is the only significant moment they have had together. Akira gaps at him a moment before swatting at him. "Ow! Yeah-." She cuts him off with another swat. It doesn't hurt really, he's just more shocked than anything that she's batting at him.

"You're Temari's and Gaara's brother, we fought because of you breaking my arm. You're an asshole and you're rude-." She stops a moment her gaze going hazy again as she blinks before looking at him. He watches behind his arms he had raised in defense as her brow furrows in confusion.

"And that's it?" she says her voice rising like a question as Kankuro lowers his arms.

"Yeah. We weren't great friends. We just got along for Tem and Gaara." He says as Akira eyes him with some mistrust as he shrugs. "I know you're probably wondering why I came-."

"No, you came to tell me to let them come over. But it hurt just to remember you." She hisses as Kankuro sighs hard, obviously losing her memories hadn't made her dumb since she had connected the dots once she realized who he was related to. He watches as she presses herself further into the shadows turning from him as she does. He squints to see her form before throwing his arms in the air. Thoroughly sick of being in the darkened room now, he looks around a moment before finally finding the light switch.

"Ok, look let me just-."

"No-!"

Bright hard white light flares on as Akira yelps in pain from the sudden change and Kankuro grunts. He blinks hard and fast, letting his eyes adjust as Akira rubs her own. He glances around the room and guilt crashes over him in an instant.

Long paragraphs cover the once pure white walls, the ink having flowed downward in some places blurring the lines and words. Paper scraps litter the floor with words and stories covering them front and back. The bed has ink stains on it and there's a black hand-print stamped on the wall next to "WHICH WAS FIRST?" with statements he doesn't fully understand written beneath. Akira looks up at him with blurry eyes and another wave of guilt hits him then looking at her. Her eyes were red and swallow, her clothes tattered and torn, bloodied in some places. Her hands were stained with the dark black ink and she has scabbed over scratches on her face. His eyes finally land on her uncovered throat and he swallows hard at the sight of the long claw like bruises. He realizes grimly that he really should be nicer to her. He knows full well what going against Shukaku is like, and in his frozen state Akira has recovered enough to gesture to herself.

"…See why they should stay away now? I… I'm not exactly their Akira anymore. I mean," she lets out a hard bark of laughter. "Who the fuck does this?" she says gesturing to the walls to the paper and scrolls. "I wrote this because I'm fucking terrified if I don't remember soon it's all gone forever. And if I do what if I forget again and it just-, it's just gone again." She crashes down on the side of the bed, letting out a shaking breath as Kankuro swallows the lump in his throat.

"This is exactly why they want to come. To help." He says softly as she shakes her head.

"I know I told them stories, but I think I just told them lies." She says tilting her head, her eyes going glassy, dazed. "I remember Lord Hokage muttering about altering my memories. I don't know why. But I can't have them telling me stories that don't exist anymore. I can't have more lies, I want to find the truth and I know they want to help but being around them is-."

"Too painful." He finishes nodding as Akira blinks out of her daze, surprised. "Gaara told us about the mission. About what happened." She nods in understanding and he takes a breath.

Kankuro's strong suit isn't comforting people, he has no idea what he really should be doing in this situation. But he came since he and Akira hardly have spent any time together. He might not be someone she can lean on but he is good at confronting people (especially when those people aren't his sister). He can help her confront her memories, find answers, and help his siblings by helping her.

He just hopes he hasn't made too much of an ass of himself just to have her regret his help.

"Ok I'll make you a deal since your all fucked up in the head. I'll take you around the village since you obviously are just gonna get lost going through it. And before you start," he says raising a finger as Akira's eyes narrow and her mouth opens. "You already remembered everything about me, you know why I wanna help you. Tem and Gaara both want you to get better so I'm not here out of some evil whim to fuck with you. I only ask that once you get enough of your mind back together that you go them for the rest of it. I can only help with taking you around the village. They know you better than I do since we hated each other before." He finishes as Akira looks at him, eyes still narrowed and head tilted thinking as Kankuro shifts and sighs. "Also I really didn't mean to break your arm, I was just pissed when I realized you almost got killed trying to help and I meant to punch you. Not break you." He finishes as Akira's mouth quirks up at that and she snorts.

"I guess that's fair. Although you didn't really explain the plan," He shrugs again as she lets out a huff of amusement shaking her head. "Well I suppose I can't lose much going with you. I mean if your siblings find out you've lied to me-."

"Oh I'll be dead."

"Oh yeah big time." They smile at each a mutual understanding forming between them as Kankuro eyes her again.

"Just one more condition," he says as Akira rises to a stand.

"Hmm?" she asks looking at him as he wrinkles his nose in mock disgust.

"Take a fucking shower already."

* * *

After swatting Kankuro and taking a long hot shower that was well needed, Akira dresses in the standard Suna shinobi outfit. It being the only thing Kankuro knew she would wear and if she is honest, the most comfortable she felt being in. One of the first things she had remembered was being a shinobi, and as she tightens the headband around her head, she feels better about her identity with it. A symbol of something she stands for and protects. A Suna warrior. She almost smiles looking in the mirror, especially since the outfit also helps cover some of the wounds.

It's morning now in Suna as Kankuro yawns, waiting for her on the roof. She knows she really should check out properly but if she needs to come back, it should be better to have the room in case, as she leaps out to meet him.

He gives her a once over before grinning, "Bet that shower helped didn't it?"

"And what if it did?" she sneers trying in vain to keep her lips from tugging upward. She likes the teasing banter they have and watches amused as Kankuro leans back with his hands behind his head and grins.

"I know it did. My nose is feeling better already." He dodges out of the way from her hand and retaliates when she sticks her tongue out at him with his own.

"Well led the way then ass." She sasses leaning on one hip as Kankuro rolls his eyes and tilts his head to follow.

They keep to the roofs in Suna, avoiding the traffic below and keeping a low profile as they move. Kankuro skids to a halt by one of the building closest to the gate as he tilts his head to it.

"Figured we could start here, everything in Suna generally passes through these gates, helps keep us secure and bottlenecks any intruders." He says as Akira nods and takes a breath. "I also think we should stay up here. Just in case." She meets his gaze with her own.

"…Thank you. You didn't have to." She says as he scoffs.

"Hey, even if we don't get along, you're important to Gaara and Temari, so you're important to me. Besides I'm sure you would do the same for me." He says as Akira's eyes lower.

"I would hope so." She says and he quickly looks away from her as he swallows a lump in his throat.

Akira takes a breath and lets herself study the gate, the walls of Suna. The strong walls with different outcrops carved into them that housed lookouts and security in case anyone was brave enough to try and invade the village. She takes a moment to appreciate the dark golden color that makes up the walls as she glances down below. People wander the busy streets in longer robes and in almost plain dull colors. Quiet people milling about and blending in as well as trying to stay out of the harsh sun. She looks at the guards and sees a child run to meet someone coming back from mission-.

She sucks in a breath as a small burst of white engulfs her vision and she blinks back tears.

'Her chakra control is normally good but learning how to jump and shift on the sand is difficult. Her mother trains her as they move, showing her the different ways to manipulate the sand for balance. _"Like water walking._ " She says as Akira once again sinks down into it, the sand getting between her toes. The gates are in the distance now and she eyes them nervously. It would be two years before she could register as a full Suna shinobi. If she passed the examination to have a license to work.'

Akira tumbles back from the memory blinking hard as it cements itself in her mind. She gulps in air desperately before letting it go slowly as her head throbs a little.

"Here." She looks at Kankuro's outstretched hand holding a canteen as she takes it. Once the water touches her lips though she realizes just how insanely thirsty she is. "Hey take it easy. I only have so many of those." He says as she slows her gulping and gives it back to him.

"I think I'm good here. I remember coming in, and learning to walk on the sand while traveling..." she trails off as Kankuro finishes off the canteen despite his warning to Akira.

"Well, let's get going to where new shinobi and citizens come in." he says as Akira stares at the gates once more before turning back and following Kankuro.

* * *

'She's panting as she races across the tops of the sand dunes. Determined not to sink in as she runs. She throws herself to her left side just as giant gusts of wind slice into the ground where she once was. Akira is up and moving within seconds, her sweat dying on her skin as she leaps again to the side. She is thankful she hasn't gotten hit yet as she signs quickly and shoots a fire ball at the next gust, allowing the attack-now-inferno to be sent back the way it came. She smiles when the buzzer rings and the shinobi attacking her is only slightly charred as they nod at her. She smiles again when she's given the headband and status of chunin.'

Akira blinks back into reality as Kankuro waits in the shade and listens as she lets out a small groan and rubs her head. The pieces of living here, are falling into place and the little shops and buildings they pass she remembers. She sees the shop that sharpens her kunai and the kind man there, the store she had bought a sharpener at with Gaara. She had been quick to stop that train of thought since she does not have the time for it now. So many different places now cement themselves in her mind, and the memories still hurt but not as badly. It hasn't been long since Kankuro took her from the hospital, but the hot Suna sun, little rest, and no food is making them both… unpleasant.

"Come on, I need some grub." Kankuro says as Akira nods rubbing her temples and follows. She isn't paying attention as she bumps into his back, her nose hitting his shoulder as she yelps from surprise and pain.

"Kankuro…" a voice growls as Kankuro shivers from fear at the tone, and Akira looks over to see Temari and Gaara standing together. She winces a little once her eyes land on the blonde and she also takes a step back once she realizes that while Gaara might look only slightly annoyed, Temari is practically livid.

"H-hey guys…" he says nervously as Gaara's gourd pops open and Temari lowers her cross arms and widens her stance. "Oh fuck-." He starts but is jerked away hard when Akira grabs his arm spinning them both around to run.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck." Kankuro is chanting under his breath as the two of them run, leaping over buildings and rooftops away his siblings.

Akira shares the sentiment by muttering, "Shitohmykami." Under her own breath, panic clear in her words.

Gaara's sand is pouring out behind them as Kankuro screeches and slams into Akira, throwing them both off the rooftop and down into the alley. He manages to hook chakra strings to the edge of the rooftop to allow them to swing safely until Temari rounds the corner on her fan. Akira, with her arms around the boy in panic for the sudden drop, pulses her chakra into him, cutting off the connection and allowing them to plummet faster down. Just barely missing Temari's lunge at them from her fan. Akira manages to hook an arm under his legs and land on her feet. Kankuro stares up at her from her arms a moment as she looks at him with wide eyes, of panic. It's almost humorous with him bridal style in her arms.

Until a tsunami of sand looms in front of them and Akira unceremoniously drops Kankuro before hauling him up and running again. Only to be cornered by Temari as they both stop and look between the siblings in the darken Suna alley. Kankuro and Akira exchange a look before pointing at each other.

"It's not my fault!" they shout in unison before glaring at each other and shouting nonsense until sand wraps around both their mouths.

"Every time." Gaara mutters as the two continue to point and screech muffle obscurities at each other.

"Wait Gaara." Temari says walking up to the two of them, both too involved with fighting each other to notice her approach until she knocks their heads together. Gaara flinches, taken aback by the sudden violence but understands as Akira's and Kankuro's faces both starts cracking.

Kankuro's puppets loom back at his siblings before falling back, still and lifeless as Gaara and Temari exchange a look and sigh.

"Come on they can't be far." Temari says as Gaara takes one last look at the puppets before following his sister.

Kankuro leans out carefully from behind a corner of a building, keeping his chakra low as Akira shakes next to him. A memory had hit her once they landed and he is just glad he could swap them out while he had the chance. He touches her shoulder gently before scanning around for his siblings.

"Come on we gotta go-."

"I need to go to the training grounds." She gasps out, as Kankuro gives her an exasperated look.

"We'll be out in the open!"

"I know, but there's a food shop on the way that has ramen." She offers rising to a stand as he tilts his head.

"You're remember that?" he asks as she nods somberly.

"After I made Chunin Temari was assigned to train me, something about me showing promise with my kunai and chakra control. She took me to the ramen shop that day, as a celebration of making a decent rank despite not being a full citizen. Then the next day during training she managed to send me rocketing into the sky and nearly killed me." She says as Kankuro lets out a bark of laughter.

"Hey at least she didn't punch you! She's been swinging that fan of her since we were kids, so-."

"Oh no taijutsu was the next session and I thought I had her until she landed a clean one and I woke up like an hour later with a bloody nose." She laughs a little as Kankuro doubles over where he is sitting.

"Yeah that definitely sounds like a usual hit from Temari." He admits before standing. "We can go get ramen, but we should swing by home too, get some more water before we head out. And I don't think they'll expect me to drag you there." Akira nods her eyes going hazy again before following. They keep to the shadows as Akira lets the memories drift in. A steady flow now with only a little throbbing, a lot better than before.

'" _Come on you can hit harder than that can't you?_ " Temari sneers as she blocks another swing from Akira, shoving her aside. Akira uses the momentum to land on her hands and spins as she twists, stretching out a kick at the blonde. She manages to graze Temari's shoulder before pushing off of the sand and is up on her feet again. " _Can't you block better than that?_ " she sneers back as Temari snorts before running at her again.'

' _"Hey have you thought about using your lightening and kunai together?" "Like making a lightening rod?" "Yeah attack from far away. Maybe you'll finally stop getting hurt so often." "Oh haha."'_

" _Hey I heard Shikamaru is going to be ambassador for Konoha._ " " _Shut up Akira_." " _I haven't even started yet_ -." " _I said shut up_."'

'Her stomach hurts from laughing so hard and Temari is doubled over next to her. " _So the idiot goes up to me and says 'If that fan gets too heavy let me know. A real man shouldn't let a lady struggle_.'" Akira groans from second hard embarrassment for the poor boy as Temari lifts her fan with one arm and lets it rest against her shoulder. " _His face got so pale when I did this I thought he was going to die_." Akira snorts as she laughs harder than she really should as Temari cackles with her.'

'" _You know I have a couple of girl friends around the village. But you're probably the worst of them_." Temari says as Akira hands her a cup of tea. She snorts in response before sneering, " _You better mean best ass_." Temari grins and takes the cup. " _No I mean, you're the worst like me_." She grins cheekily at Akira who grins back. " _We're both pretty terrible when we want to be_." " _Hell yeah we are_." Temari says as they clink their glasses together. " _You're one of my best friends you know._ " Akira says softly as Temari scoffs. " _I know…. And same goes for you_." Akira smiles at her, before the two grins at each and laugh a moment at how cheesy they are.'

* * *

"Ok so here's were we eat breakfast, down there is some place you do some weird thing, and I'm gonna get water." Kankuro says in an annoying could-care-less voice as Akira gives him a look. She is fully aware what a dining table next to a full kitchen is used for, and has an inkling of having maybe sat at the table before.

"I don't remember much but that doesn't mean I'm dumb." She gives him a flat look as he shrugs and leisurely strides toward the sink.

"No, but it does mean I get to treat you like it," he says evenly as he fills up his canteen as Akira crosses her arms and shifts her weight to one leg.

"No it doesn't."

"Well it hasn't stopped me yet!" he says in a snarky tone as he turns with a lopsided grin holding up his canteen if apparent victory. Akira rolls her eyes and fights the urge to hit him. He had paid for the ramen, and she feels obligated to give him this one insult.

"Well I'll be off trying to figure out what else will crop up." She says as she turns for the hallway, and away from the pleased look on his face at her lack of retort.

"Hey, did you… want me to take you home?" he asks hesitantly, leaning against the sink now, as Akira stops by the entrance of the hall and looks at him. She looks away a moment before taking a breath.

"I know I'll have to go back soon, I am remembering a lot easier now, but…there's a bit more I need to figure out. Let me get through whateverthefuck this is and-." She says waving down the hall before Kankuro interrupts.

"Hey hey one step at a time I hear ya!" he gives her a small smile when their eyes met again Akira gives him a small one in return.

Kankuro might be rude, annoying, and loud. But he is a good brother to Gaara and Temari and a good friend. And she's glad she can call him that now.

Akira goes down the hall slowly, taking in the vague sense of familiarity, and trying to ignore the confusion that comes with it. It's almost a sense of deja vu but not quite. Something she's sure she had down once but not enough to keep it fresh. A new kind of old. She wrinkles her nose in displeasure of the confusion before moving on and she almost passes it. The light coming from the door is bright enough to catch her attention and is almost begging to be let out. Akira presses a hand against the cool wooden door before pushing it open.

Light is bright in the lovely open space, the floor clean and smooth. A bar is on one wall on the far side of the room and she steps forward closing the door behind her. There is a place for music in the corner and she stares around the room. She can almost hear it, the gentle call of music and as she steps further into the room she closes her eyes. A soft pulse behind her temple is all she feels and she smiles remembering how she moved in here, relaxed in here. The music in her mind grows a little louder and she sways a little. The beat is easy enough to follow, softly as she raises her arms up, she follows the beat, twirling and as it picks up pace, drives her to go faster she feels herself relax more, feels muscles in her shoulders relax and she bends and folds-.

Memories of being small flash across her mind and she gasps but keeps moving, taking deep breaths as she continues the dance, continues the movements.

* * *

_"Come on little sister! You can't get me!" Akira huffed before turning around. She had only managed to feel a few strands of lavender hair brush against her hand as Shuichi ducked under her reaching arms. He skipped away a safe distance grinning at her as she frowned at him._

_Sunlight streamed into the house through the glass door behind Shuichi who grinned as he stopped in front of it. Akira watched as her brother lowered his stance, favoring his left side and she grinned in return. She could do this. She could get him. She lunged forward, hands outstretched as he suddenly dashed right, surprising her. He tapped her shoulder as he scampered past, teasing her as he cackled. Akira frowned and tried to straighten, thinking she would just bounce off the glass door-._

_She hadn't._

_She tumbled through the door, shrieking in surprise and shock as she fell. She landed hard in a heap of limbs and shattered glass, her shoulder throbbed in pain. A shocked mix of a sob and whimper escaped her lips as she tried to sit up and instead was met with a sharp thorough pain. She looked up at her brother who stood shocked in the doorway a moment until their eyes met._

_"Don't look!" Akira blinked from where she sat her arm throbbing as Shiuchi climbed out of the house. He ran to her and Akira watched as he carefully picked his way to her. Hastily stepping around the broken glass Shuichi looked at the blood coming from his sisters arm and felt tears prickle in his eyes._

_"I didn't mean it! I'm so sorry Aki!" Shuichi sniffed as he hauled her up as gently as he could. The glass looked so large in her little arm as he managed to get them back inside._

_The glass in Akira's little arm was painful and Shuichi's crying wasn't making her feel any better about it. She was a little glad to not be the only one crying though as her brother pulled her into the house. She sniffed as she rubbed the tears away trying to articulate what happened as their father knelt down and looked at his six year old daughter and eleven year old son. He moved Akira's arm around gently, examining the wound and was careful not to jostle it too much. Akira almost wanted to sob when her father finally looked at her with a kind and sad smile. Without another word Shuichi and her were scooped up and placed side by side on the kitchen counter by the sink. Akira couldn't watch as her father carefully plucked out the glass shards and dropped them into the sink, she wanted to cry with every red drop that sprang from the wound. Shuichi squeezed her hand and let her crush his in return. When their father was done, he pressed a kiss to both their heads, and one to the fresh bandage on her arm. Akira sniffed and stared at the clean white bandage as her father gently moved them both back to the floor. Akira looked up at him then a soft smile on her face as she watched her father with dark hair and eyes like hers pat her head. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled._

_"Come on little Aki, it's all ok now." His voice was soft and deep, and Akira rubbed her eyes dry before she smiled up at him in return._

_Akira blinked against the bright sunlight that landed her face, she was seven now, and her mother was marching on ahead of her. Papa was gone on a separate mission and Shuichi was with his Genin team. Something about an exam? She wasn't sure entirely but knew he would be gone for a long time. She strained to hear what her mother was saying from how far ahead she was. Akira was ready for what now? She ran to catch up her little legs trying hard to push past the tall grass that almost came up to her neck. She bumped into her mother's legs and peaked out from behind her. Akira blinked at the sight of a camp, she hadn't know there was a lake outside of Konoha, let alone a cove that kept a camp hidden. She spied different crests on many of the differently brightly colored flags were strewn around the entrance and jumped when her mother started walking ahead again. She hurried to catch up but not before spying other children peaking out from the tall grass by the entrance. She could hear them as they whispered 'Newcomer' and she frowned at that. Her mother took her to a tent set up just inside the cove. The canvas of the tent was brightly colored and painted in fun pinks and red, the sun had yet to set but her mother insisted it was bedtime. She finally coaxed her to bed with promises of training to be like Shuichi in the morning. Akira grinned at that and agreed to go to bed early, wanting to be like her brother and father, as she gently and sleepily traced a bright blue swirl on the inside of the tent._

_Akira was puffing and huffing as she raced up the seemingly endless hill. The other children she was running with had either already gotten past this obstacle or were only just ahead of her. S_ _he had never ran harder in her life but still couldn't keep up with the other children._ _Akira wheezed, she wanted to catch up, and she knew if she just pressed a little harder-. She heard something whizzed past her ear and she almost froze before pain enveloped her shoulder. Something had hit her, something had pierced-. Akira screamed as she felt something graze her cheek and she's off again before she's even fully realized it. Her legs hit the ground harder and she's caught up with the other children quicker than she ever thought possible. Tears are streaming down her face and her eyes are wide with fear as she makes it past another child. He looked at her with wide eyes that were soon filled with horror. It didn't take every long before tears started spilling down his cheeks as another round of whizzing started up. Akira gulped down air before pushing herself forward, not stopping until she had joined the other children on the other side of the hill._ _One of the adults from the camp had only sneered and moved past her muttering "So slow" with a click of their tongue. Akira curled in on herself after that ordeal her legs had given out and she sat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. When she finally made it back to the tent, her mother worked to clean and bandage her wounds._

_"You'll do better next time." her mother said as Akira cried._

_"What did I do wrong this time?" she asked but her mother didn't answer.  
_

_That night she didn't trace her swirl in the corner of the tent and she dreamed of red and blood. Her blood. Her shoulder throbbed from movement so badly she didn't want to move, and she was ordered to run again._

_"She can't sense chakra well, we need to do this!" they yelled at her mother who simply watched as they dragged Akira closer to the darkened room. Akira was tired from having fought them the entire way but was still screaming despite her throat feeling raw and angry. She had been dressed in a bathing suit and they were moving her to a dark tank filled with salty water._

_"NONONONONO" she screamed. Her mother watched as they pushed her into the tank, her little body twisting and writhing as much as she could. No light, only the sound of her trying to get out. Only the sound of her own pounding heart in her ears. When they said she was done they tried and had her work with sensing again. She could only sense her own, like someone had placed her inside a cotton ball and told her to try and feel anything but the cotton. The tank had done nothing, had actually worsened her to the point where she needed to touch someone before reading their chakra. "Nothing like her brother," they muttered._

_They had done this to all of them, all of the children in the camp. If one of them couldn't do enough sit ups, couldn't run fast enough, they were motivated with cuts, and bruises. Akira remembered her father teaching her how to throw her little rubber kunai. The gentle praise and nurture he gave her, so unlike this tribe. She can see the bandages on the other children, the darkened gaze of their eyes with each morning training. She thought to herself that they weren't ok, and not just because they couldn't run fast enough._

_The worst night had occurred finally when one instructor in particular liked to cut deeper than he should have been doing. She came back half-dazed from blood loss and her mother panicked. The healer had come right away, cleaning Akira's wounds and wrapping her up. Akira had stared at her face, graceful and beautiful_ _even with all the wrinkles. The healer had smiled at her, before sitting her up and giving her a piece of candy. The bandages made moving impossible but Akira managed to get the candy into her mouth. She chewed on it slowly and gave the healer a smile in return. She almost felt safe until her mother entered in a flurry of purple hair and rage. But not at the man._

_"You should have been better!" she hissed at Akira who all at the age of seven was more than done_ _. All she wanted was to go back home, and not even the melting sweet candy she had been given could change that. Akira pouted listening to her mother shout before she muttered._

_"Like you care anyway." Akira froze as her mother turned toward her, a scoff on her lips._

_"You're brother went through this when he was your age. He's fine. I went through it! It hurts but it'll make you stronger!"_

_"If you know it hurts you're supposed to make it not hurt! You're my mama!" she cried and something in her broke then as her mother's hand connected with her cheek. She had stared at her mother, eyes widened with betrayal and hurt, but she only took a seething breath._

_"I am your mother. That's right and you will not raise your voice-."_

_"You're just like them," Akira sobbed in a broken whisper and bandages be darned she was done. She twisted and felt something give in the linen and before her mother could become unfrozen from her words. Akira ran desperately into the woods, fearing the consequences, but wanting nothing more to do with this tribe._

_She ran, harder and faster than ever before, barefoot through the forest. She ran from the pain, torture and the terrible people in the small tribe. She didn't want to be them, didn't want to be a part of this._

_She just wanted her Papa and- Akira screamed when strong arms wrapped around her waist and hauled her up._

_"Aki, Akira sweetheart shush-." She looked and almost couldn't believe it was her father holding her. She let out hard sob before clinging to him. "Honey, Papa can't breath." He choked and she unhappily loosened her hold a little as she sobbed into his shoulder._

_She was safe, she could go home. She-._

_"Akira-!" She stiffened in her father's hold and whimpered as she heard her mother's approach. Her mother stopped when she saw her husband with their daughter. Her father gave his wife a look that left her wilting from what Akira could see pressed securely against her father's neck. She felt his large hand brush fingers through her hair before patting Akira's head, everything going fuzzy as she started to fall asleep._

_"I thought we agreed-" Was all she heard before everything went black._

_She woke up to her head resting between her father's shoulder blades. She blinked hazily and smiled as her mother came into view. Calmer and smiling as she brushed away her hair. Akira blinked at her and frowned when she realized her mother was crying. "I'm sorry love." She muttered kissing her forehead as Akira hummed. "I love you Mama." She mumbled and fell back asleep._

_She woke up to screaming this time. To something burning in the distance and she sat up off the ground confused, where was her-._

_She heard a ping of metal hitting metal, saw a flash but couldn't do anything before the kunai had buried itself in her thigh. She's screamed again, and the memories become too much, blurring over each other. Her father pulling the kunai out, her mother's emotionless eyes as she stood over her husband. Of bright white lights, and then a dim dark room. Of a older man in white and red robes frowning as she laid there still and quiet as tears poured from her eyes before turning away from her. "Run through her memories again... I know she's a child but we need information. Run through and then if we can't find anything seal them." He looked at her again his old face softening. "Sorry little one, but we have to go back there once more time." And her life from six until the camp is replayed again._

_And again._

_And again._

* * *

Akira crumbles mid-movement from her dancing and lays awkward and heavy on the floor as the memories finally shift and stay. Some bits are still blurry. She doesn't remember much between what had happened after the camp and before moving to Suna. A little more to fill in, but she runs a hand over her face as she flops on her back breathing hard and a little surprised when her hand comes away from her face wet. She heaves in a breath as her limbs shake, she isn't sure how long she's been moving as she tries to even out her erratic breathing. She wipes at her face a little more, suddenly drained as she lets out a sigh and jumps a little bit at a sudden outstretched hand.

Gaara stands over her, a hand outstretched toward her and Akira blinks at him surprised. His hair is almost falling into his eyes where he bends over slightly and his cyan eyes are glazed with worry. She can see from the set in his brow that is isn't angry, or surprised, simply worried and she isn't quite sure how to feel about that. He doesn't say anything as she glances at him and the hand before taking it. He helps her up, and gives her a once over before pulling out his own canteen. Akira nods to him as she takes it and drinks. Her legs still feel wobbly but at least her throat isn't as sore anymore.

Before they can say anything to each other, before they can take stock of this sudden reuniting, the door to the room is thrown open.

"Akira! They found us and- OHMYFUCKINGGOD!" Kankuro screams from the doorway before looking down the hall and darting away as a screaming Temari races past, small tornadoes surrounding her as she runs. Akira and Gaara watch a moment surprised at the humorous exchange.

"I half regret telling her she should go for smaller tornadoes and whirlwinds in smaller spaces." Akira sighs as Gaara glances at her surprised and a little shocked at the implications of her words. She looks at him a moment and hands him back his canteen. She gives him a small smile before stepping away.

"Tell Kankuro thanks again for me, and go easy on him please? He really did mean well." Gaara opens his mouth to say something, to stop her.

But in a small swirl of sand she's gone, and he can't help but let out a puff of air, half disappointed he couldn't talk to her more. He had seen a good portion of her dance, had seen the exhaustion, the grief, fear, and the story she told. He hadn't met to stay really, but he hadn't realized how long he had been watching until she had crashed into the floor.

He had even wanted to catch her but is still nervous to use his sand. Instead choosing to offer a hand, and hoping she wouldn't been too upset at the intrusion.

Instead she had merely taken it. Had looked at him with surprise that he was there, not confusion for once, and left. Gaara hears a crash down the hall and a yelp of pain as he lets out a sigh and quickly rushes from the studio. Even if they hadn't talked he couldn't help but feel a bit lighter at the knowledge of Akira getting better. Of remembering and, if he's honest, of not being scared of him.

* * *

Akira stares up at her house with weary eyes and a swirl of emotions in her chest. Happiness and comfort at seeing home again, anger and rage at the memories she's unlocked. Confusion at some of the events that's happened and how her family got to the point it was at. And finally, she felt sadness as she knows she can't go back to ignorance of what happened.

She scans the house, the flat rooftop, the small overhang above the front steps, and blinks back tears. She can see her and her mother moving in boxes, joking about how many they can each carry at once only to be beaten by her brother who managed to balance one on his head. She can see them picking out cheap furniture and the three of them struggling to fit it in while Izumi watched amused before helping the three Sato's who insisted they didn't need it. Can see them filling the space with knickknacks and pictures from their life in Konoha, can see Izumi helping her paint her walls and make her bookshelves while her mother and Shuichi fussed with the plants.

Akira takes a breath and a step forward before stopping as she recalls all the other memories that now flood the house. She blinks and she can practically hear Temari's voice coming in muffled as she banged on her front door, having come over for early morning training sessions until her mother invited her inside for breakfast. It had surprised the hell out of Temari at first, and then became a normal thing (on the bargain she would knock politely and not bang anymore). Akira can feel the tears pooling in her eyes at the thought of how the blonde would also come over for dinner until her administrative work took up too much of her time. Of the two of them growing closer with each visit, and how long it has been since the blonde had visited.

Her throat clenches as she tries to swallow from the memory of herself standing in the doorway, her body partially covered by the door as she looked at Gaara outside, whose brow was furrowed and he looked confused and almost put-off by her smile. The first time they met.

Her eyes scan the house again, Temari laughing at her dining room table over a simple breakfast before dragging Akira out to train. Gaara and her on the rooftop stargazing and sharing a pot of tea with a blanket draped over the both of them on a particularly chilly night. So many different memories flood the house in front of her and for a moment she can't help but be amazed that a simple building could dredge up so many emotions.

She tries to move, to enter when she hears voices coming from down the street.

Her eyes land on her mother and Shuichi, as they walk up the street. The purple haired pair smiling as they wave her down before Shuichi starts to jog up to her. She feels some surprise to see him before she freezes.

Akira feels something shift in her chest and is only vaguely aware that the sand siblings are rounding the corner at the other end of the street. She feels the swirl of uncertainty, of so many mixed emotions, in her chest slide away as one takes over at the sight of her family.

Shuichi reaches her then arms outstretched for a hug, her mother not too far behind smiling, and the sand siblings round the corner just in time to watch.

Akira, with no hesitation, rears a fist back and punches her brother fully in the face before rounding on her mother, a snarl on her lips as she seethes and rages at the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -End- Song Choice: Remember Everything by Five Finger Death Punch wasn't entirely my first pick for this chapter. But the pain Akira is feeling at the thought of her family betraying her and of her hurting them in turn. Also the anger at her memories getting fucked with helped write this chapter. I will say for the beginning I planned The Parting Glass performed by Hozier for Gaara and Akira's time in the cave. Also for anyone curious Tell Me A Story by Phillip Phillips was originally the main choice but I think I might have a better place for it elsewhere.
> 
> Also sorry for the late post, I'm still working on future chapters, doing summer classes before apply to graduate school is a hassle and doing it during a pandemic isn't helping.
> 
> Stay safe and stay healthy and I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time!


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